Chapter 45

        By the time Johnny and Roy reported to work on Thursday morning Roy thought he saw a vast improvement in his friend physically speaking. Roy suspected his presence in Johnny's home allowed the man to relax in a way he hadn't since receiving that first letter. Maybe the watchful part of Johnny's brain shut itself down knowing Roy would take over listening for any odd sounds that might indicate someone was lurking about in the darkness. Or maybe it was just knowing he had Roy's support through all this that allowed Johnny to finally give into his exhaustion. Whatever it wasn't didn't make any difference to the blond man. All he cared about was that Johnny ate, slept, and unwound a little bit during their off time.

        No more letters arrived during that four day time span, and no mysterious gifts were left on Johnny's property. Roy was thankful for both those happenings though, as well, couldn't help but conclude that was an indication Johnny was being watched. He surmised Johnny had come to the same conclusion despite the fact an unmarked police car continuously circled the area surrounding the ranch.

        The morning calls Roy and Johnny went on that day were more amusing than they were eventful. There was the eight year old boy stuck halfway through a doggie door as he tried to sneak back in the house after skipping school. Then came the man with fishing lures jammed in his backside, that painful action occurring when he tripped and fell on top of his open tackle box. And finally, right before lunch, the elderly woman who was sure aliens had landed in her back yard the previous evening and just thought someone should know. She didn't look too convinced when Johnny explained to her the ruts she was seeing had been made by a mini-bike. She walked back into her house mumbling, "The fire department must hire any nitwit who applies for a job now days," which caused Roy to burst into laughter despite the mock glare his partner shot him.

        It was four o'clock when Station 51 was summoned to a structure fire at a warehouse. Roy recognized the address as being in an aging part of the city that had long ago been abandoned by business owners and residents alike.

        At least we shouldn't have to do a rescue, the senior paramedic thought as he pulled the squad into the start of rush hour traffic. Every so often it's nice to just be a hose jockey.

        Roy had a feeling Johnny was thinking the same thing when they drove up to the huge building. Flames shot high through the roof as black smoke billowed into the air like a miniature tornado.

        These old buildings are solid wood. It's a sure bet this will burn like a house made of matchsticks.

        Station 36, Station 10, and Station 19 pulled up behind 51, though none of their paramedics had been called out. Before Johnny or Roy had a chance to get their instructions from Captain Stanley two boys darted from the other side of the street. They were both carrying schoolbooks, and neither looked to be over twelve. One grabbed onto the sleeve of Johnny's turnout coat and tugged.

        "Hey, mister!"

        Johnny swiveled to find himself looking into a pair of blue eyes wide with excitement, capped by a mop of thick white-blond hair.

        "Go on," Johnny instructed with a wave of his hand. "You and your friend get on outta here before one of you gets hurt."

        "But, Mister," the other boy yelled over the roar of the fire, "there's someone in there!"

        Roy followed the finger the red headed boy used to point with.

        "In the warehouse?"

        "Yeah. He went in to get his stuff!"

        "And his dog!" The blond boy added.

        Roy turned to his partner.

        "Whatta ya' think?"

        "Probably some homeless guy who's been usin' this as a place to crash," Johnny said as he opened the long compartment that held their air tanks.

        Roy silently agreed. He ran toward Captain Stanley to relay the information the boys had given him.

        So much for being a hose jockey.

        By the time Roy and Johnny were slipping the straps of their tanks over their shoulders the boys who had alerted them were blocks away. They stopped running once they could no longer see the flames from the fire. The red headed boy pulled the twenty dollar bill out of his pocket the stranger had given him and his friend to tell the Station 51 paramedics he was in the building. Why someone would deliberately run into the middle of a fire the boy didn't know. He momentarily wondered if he and his buddy had done something wrong by accepting the man's money and then telling the paramedics he needed help.

        He also wondered why it was so important that they only tell their story to the paramedics from Station 51, as opposed to any old fireman they ran across.
        

___________________________________        

        Hank Stanley hated this type of rescue more than any other. When an abandoned structure was burning you had no one to question about the layout of the building, and therefore had little information to pass onto your men. He didn't like the idea of Johnny and Roy entering the burning warehouse based upon the words of a couple kids. He liked it even less when he turned around to find the boys in order to talk to them himself, only to discover they were gone.

        The warehouse was so vast that when Johnny and Roy first entered they encountered no flames and very little smoke. They quickly determined the majority of the fire was contained far above them, on the upper floor loft. That was both good and bad. Good because they had fairly clear visibility for the time being, but bad because everything above them could come down on top of them if they didn't pay close attention to how fast the fire was spreading.

        Roy pointed east, indicating he was going in that direction. Johnny nodded. Using his own index finger, he pointed west.

        The two men had worked together long enough not to need an exchange of words. It was understood between them that when they finished searching their sections of the ground floor they'd meet back here by the double doors and contact Cap before deciding if a search of the wide loft was necessary, or even feasible.

        The half of the warehouse Roy took contained offices that hadn't been used in years. He spotted an old time clock outside one, a battered filing cabinet inside another, and a metal sign that read, Support The War Effort, in another, but for the most part each room had been emptied of all furnishings years earlier.

        Roy opened doors and yelled, "Fire Department! Anyone in here?" more times than he could count. He used his stick of chalk to X the door of each room he secured.

Johnny was able to move more quickly than his partner through his half of the building. There were no offices on the west end, and whatever had been manufactured or stored here was long gone. Like Roy, he continuously hollered, "Fire Department! Anyone in here?" but received no answer.

        Damn kids. If they were screwin' around with us I swear I'll skin them alive when I get my hands on 'em.

        The crackling of flames overhead made Johnny look up. He did a double take when he saw a man leaning over the wooden railing forty feet above him. There was enough smoke surrounding the man so Johnny couldn't get a clear view of his face. He got the impression the guy was taller than himself, and powerfully built, but he couldn't say that for certain.

        "Hey! Get down here!"

        The man shook his head. "You come up here!"

        What the...is this guy crazy or what?

        "This whole place is gonna go! Now get to the stairs and come down!"

        Before the conversation could go any farther the man disappeared into the thick smoke. Johnny waited a few seconds, expecting to see him running down the wooden staircase that emptied into the center of the building. When no one appeared Johnny looked for Roy. When he didn't see his partner coming back from the east side of the building he retrieved his Handie Talkie from his pocket. He spoke into it as he took the stairs two at a time.

        "Engine 51, this is John. I've spotted a man on the second floor. I'm going up to get him."

        Johnny could barely hear his Captain's response as he got closer to the source of the flames.

        "Make it quick, pal. That second floor isn't going to hold long."

        "10-4, Cap."

        Johnny returned the Handie Talkie to his pocket as his right foot hit the second floor landing. He squinted into the dense smoke.

        Now where the hell did he go?

        Johnny walked a few feet from the landing. Because of the smoke he could barely see the arc of water spraying into the building at the far end. Before he had a chance to do any more of a visual search a voice spoke from behind him. Despite the suffocating heat, a shiver ran up the paramedic's spine.

        "Well, well, well...if it isn't Uncle Johnny. My old friend, and long-time nemesis, John Gage."

        Johnny pivoted, which he immediately realized was a mistake. The force of a baseball bat hitting the side of his skull knocked him off his feet. The only thing that saved him from losing consciousness was his helmet. The bat's blow was somewhat deflected by its rim. Somewhat, but not completely. Johnny saw stars as his chin slammed against the rough boards that made up the second floor. The strap on his helmet snapped, causing that piece of safety equipment to bounce beyond his reach. He felt his air mask being ripped off next and shoved behind his back.

        "No need for this where you're going, Johnny."

        John swallowed back a wave of nausea as he pushed himself to a sitting position. He could feel blood running down the left side of his face, and his vision was blurry. Not so blurry; however, as to be unable to determine who his adversary was. He refused to allow his shock to show. Johnny would never give this bastard the satisfaction of thinking he'd pulled one over on him.

        The paramedic struggled to his feet. He swayed back and forth, gasping for a breath of uncontaminated air. When the room stopped spinning he forced back a cough, looked his opponent in the eye and asked one question.

        "Why?"

        "Why what, Injun Boy? Why the letters? Why the roller skate? Why the tennis shoe? Hell, John, you've lost your sense of humor. Because why is as simple as this...it was fun."

Johnny knew all too well what this man was capable of if given the opportunity. He knew his best chance at survival was to keep his assailant talking while trying to inch for the stairs.

        "Fun?" A bout of strong coughing almost toppled Johnny to the floor again. He squinted, but wasn't able to see more than five feet in front of his face. He could hear the fire getting closer. The last place he wanted to be was standing on the burning second story of this warehouse. "Look, you might call this fun, but I've got news for you, if this floor gives way, which I guarantee you it will, neither one of us is gonna be having much fun."

        "Gage, I haven't had fun in eleven years. As a matter of fact, all I've been doin' is hiding. Running from town to town. Moving from job to job. Changing my name as I go. And it's all your fault. You took everything from me that should have been mine."

        Johnny gave a mirthless laugh. "I took everything from you? I see not much has changed over the years. Your shoe size still out measures your I.Q."

        In a split second the paramedic realized his smart mouth had once again
gotten him in trouble.

        You'd think I'd have learned by now. Mom always told me I'd be better off if I thought before I spoke.

        The baseball bat slammed into Johnny's right arm with a loud, "Whack!"
He stifled a yelp as the pain caused him to double over and grab onto the injured appendage with his other hand.

        "You did take everything from me, Gage! You did! She...she was so pure. So sweet. What she saw in the likes of a half breed like you I never figured out."

        Johnny looked up into his opponent's blue eyes. He ignored the pain screaming through his arm and lancing through his skull when he said, "What she saw was someone who loved her."

        This time Johnny was ready when the bat arced above him. He jumped backwards, the blow that was meant for the top of his skull missing him by less than an inch.

        "I loved her!" The enraged man screamed over the sounds of the fire. "I loved her first! She was mine! Mine until you came along and stole her from me!"

        Johnny danced out of the way as the baseball bat flew back and forth over and over again. It clipped his arm once more, and then his hip, but he kept moving. The only problem was, he was headed in the wrong direction...toward the fire instead of away from it.

        Stay calm, Johnny chastised himself as his eyes watered from both pain and smoke. You've got to stay calm if you're going to get out of here alive.

        Johnny tried his best to lead his attacker back toward the stairway, but the man blocked his path. Between the heat, the smoke, the weight of the air tank on his back, and his injuries, Johnny knew it would only be a matter of time before he collapsed in a semi-conscious heap on the floor. He refused to allow himself to think of anything else but survival. If his mind wandered too far into the past he knew he'd simply give up and let the man kill him now.

        Get to the stairs, Gage. Get to the damn stairs. You always could out run him. If you get that far you can make a break for it.

        Johnny wasn't sure how many blows from the bat he dodged versus how many connected. He felt like Mohammed Ali as he danced and shuffled while trying to avoid being hit on the head again. All the while his enraged assailant was screaming at him, seemingly not bothered by the dangers that would prompt a sane man to flee.

        "They called you a hero in the paper! A hero! Bet you didn't tell them about the last time, hero! How you couldn't save Kim! So now you think you're tough shit 'cause you're a macho fireman! Well you ain't tough shit! It was because of you, John! It's because of you that she's dead! And I bet she knew it! I bet she knew it as she took her last breath!"

        It was then that eleven years of self-control snapped. Johnny bent over at the waist and charged forward. He rammed his head into his attacker's midsection. He heard the man give a loud, "Oof!" as they tumbled to the floor. The men latched onto each other's arms. They rolled three times before Johnny ended up on the bottom. His air tank was nothing but a hindrance. It prevented him from getting the leverage he needed to push his opponent off his chest. A beefy fist connected with his jaw, and then with his cheekbone. This time the stars he saw were heavily layered in black. He felt the big hands grab the shoulders of his turnout coat. He struggled as he was dragged towards the railing, but couldn't break free. He knew he was going to be tossed over and briefly wondered what his chances of surviving the forty foot fall would be.

        Not good, the paramedic portion of his brain told him. Not good at all.

        Johnny could feel flames nipping at his turnout pants. He contemplated what would be worse, dying from a two story fall or dying from third degree burns. Neither sounded particularly appealing, and he found himself praying whatever happened would just be over soon.

        The possibility that John Gage would have met his maker that day was high, except for one thing. Chester B. Kelly. As far as Chet knew no one was on the second floor. He was the first man at the top of the ladder that was propped against the outside of the building. Marco was directly behind Chet with two firemen from Station 19 bringing up the rear. Chet held on tight to both the ladder and the hose when he felt the water coming through. The smoke was so thick he couldn't see where he was aiming when he pointed the nozzle through the second story window.

        The force of the water hitting him square in the back flipped Johnny's attacker into the air like a rag doll. His hands flailed, trying to grab onto whatever was available. By nothing more than luck he managed to nab a portion of the railing. Johnny saw flames devouring the wood just inches away from his adversary.

        The man screamed as he jerked his right hand from the railing. Johnny could smell the distinct odor of burnt flesh.

        "Hold on!" Johnny shouted. "Hold on! I'm coming!"

        Johnny scrambled toward the man. He was within three feet of him when the fire devoured the remainder of the railing. John hollered, "No!" as he lunged forward. At the same time the man screamed.

        The fire had reached his left hand.

        He let go of the railing.

        Through smoke-filled, red-rimmed eyes; Johnny couldn't do anything other than watch him fall.

Chapter 46

        Roy DeSoto finished his tour of the north end of the building.

        Better see if Johnny needs my help. We don't have much time left. That second story doesn't look too sturd...what the hell!

        Roy would have thought someone had tossed a dummy over the railing if he hadn't heard the distinct 'splat' a body makes when it hits hard ground. A dozen questions swirled through his mind as he ran to the victim. Before he even reached for the pulse point at the man's throat Roy was well aware he wouldn't find a beat. By the way the man's head was angled the paramedic knew his neck was broken.

        Roy's next instinct was to look up. He saw the upper half of his partner's body hanging over the second floor loft. Fire flicked around Johnny and burned what little was left of the railing just inches above his head.

        What's going on?

        Roy didn't waste time pondering his question. Like Johnny had done earlier, he took the stairs two at a time.

        "Johnny!" He yelled as he ran to Johnny's side. "John!"

        The paramedic knew there wasn't time for any type of medical assessment. He lifted his partner to his feet and brought Johnny's left arm across his shoulders. He half dragged, half carried his friend to the stairs.

        The flames chased Roy and Johnny down the steps. How Roy managed to stay ahead of them with the additional burden of his partner's weight he never knew. He heard the second floor giving way as he dragged Johnny out of the building. Hank Stanley saw them coming and ran to help Roy. The first sign of life Johnny gave was when the captain tried to put John's injured right arm across his shoulder. Johnny cried out in pain, then doubled over coughing.

        "Sorry, pal," Hank murmured as he and Roy raced for the squad with Johnny between them.

        They removed Johnny's air tank then eased him to the sidewalk in a sitting position, allowing him to lean back against the squad. Roy kept one firm hand in the center of his partner's chest and the other on his left shoulder. The last thing he wanted was to have Johnny topple over and injure himself further.

        While Roy filled his captain in on what little he knew of the events that transpired in the warehouse, Hank opened various compartments and was soon hauling the trauma box, drug box, bio-phone, and oxygen to Roy's side.

        "Thanks, Cap."

        Hank nodded as he pulled his Handie Talkie from the pocket of his turnout coat.

        "L.A., this is Engine 51. I have a Code I at our location. Respond an ambulance and another paramedic unit."

        "10-4, 51."

        Hank crouched down beside Roy. "Need my help?"

        "Yeah. When I'm ready I want you to relay his vitals to Rampart for me."

        "All right."

        The captain opened the box that contained the bio-phone and set the antennae up while Roy examined his patient. Blood and sweat mixed together to run down Johnny's face. Roy dabbed at the blood with a thick pad of gauze until he determined its source. He checked his partner's eyes with his penlight, then spoke to Johnny as he began to unbuckle the latches on his turnout coat.

        "I'm going to get this off of you, Johnny. Can you sit forward for me?"

        When Roy got no response other than a vacant stare he spoke louder.

        "Johnny? Johnny, I need you to sit forward so I can get your coat off. John?
Johnny!"

        "What's wrong?" Hank asked as he scooted closer in order to see around Roy's body.

        "I don't know. He appears to be in shock of some sort." Roy turned his attention back to his partner. "Johnny! John!"

        Roy's shouts finally brought Johnny out of his self-imposed trance. He looked up at his partner as though he was registering Roy's presence for the first time since they'd parted ways inside the building twenty minutes earlier. Roy had to strain to hear the man over the sounds of the fire, sirens, and men's shouts.

        "What, Johnny? What did you say?"

        In a voice barely above a whisper Johnny repeated, "It was him. It was him all summer long."

        "Who are you talking about? The guy in the warehouse?"

        "I...he set me up. It was him. The shoe, the skate, the letters...it was him."

        And with that Johnny turned his head and vomited. Roy held Johnny's shoulders to keep him upright as his stomach emptied itself with a vengeance. Hank was never so glad to see another paramedic unit arrive as he was that day. Roy had his hands full just trying to support Johnny as the vomiting gave way to the dry heaves.

        Captain Stanley briefed the paramedics from Station 19 on what little he knew of Johnny's condition, then stepped out of the way. He spoke into the Handie Talkie again, this time making a request of a very different sort.

        "L.A., this is Engine 51. The fire at our location is a probable arson. Also, contact Detective Mark Bellmen at the L.A.P. D. Tell him..." Hank paused a moment to look at Johnny. Roy had his turnout coat off of him now as well as his shirt. Hank could see the deep bruises already beginning to form on John's arms, chest, and shoulders that indicated he'd been beaten with some sort of blunt instrument. Johnny was leaning back against the squad again, staring at the burning building with a vacant glaze to his eyes. He didn't appear to notice the ministrations of his partner and 19's paramedics. This compliance on Johnny's part was completely out of character. Hank wished for nothing more than to hear Johnny grumble at Roy to put the B/P cuff away, or to tell Roy it wasn't necessary to contact Rampart while pushing himself to his feet. But Johnny did none of those things. As he sat there pale and shivering Hank thought he looked alone. Desperately alone. Which seemed rather odd considering Johnny's best friend was right beside him. Nonetheless, Hank couldn't shake that feeling.

        The Handie Talkie squawked.

        "Engine 51, can you repeat your last request? The transmission broke up."

        "Uh...yes, L.A. Sorry." Hank turned away from the paramedics before speaking again. "Please contact Detective Mark Bellmen at the L.A.P.D. Tell him it concerns the matter with John Gage."

        "Copy, 51. 10-4"

        "10-4, L.A."

        Ten minutes later the ambulance pulled up that would carry Johnny to Rampart. Roy rode with his partner while one of the paramedics from 19's followed in their squad, and the other one drove 51's squad so Roy would have a way to get back his station.

        Five minutes after the ambulance left the arson investigator arrived. Twenty minutes after that Mark Bellmen arrived with a young blond man Hank had never seen before. The captain told the two men of the events that had taken place since the fire department had arrived on the scene.

        "DeSoto says there's a body in there. Says the guy fell from the second story. There's no doubt Gage was beaten at some point while he was in there."

        "What are his injuries?" Mark asked.

        "Probable concussion. Other than that I saw a lot of bruises on his chest and arms. No bones are broken that I know of, but I'll get a full report after the doctors at Rampart have had a chance to examine him."

        Detective Bellmen nodded. For the time being he couldn't do anything but wait until the fire was under control. He was anxious to get inside the warehouse and take a look at the body Captain Stanley mentioned, and he was anxious to talk to John Gage. However; neither of those things was going to happen soon. He watched the firemen spray water on the burning building before turning to Troy.

        "Troy Boy, hope you had a big lunch because I think we're in for a long night."

        As Mark thought of all this case had involved since the Sunday in April he had sat interviewing the DeSoto children at Rampart Hospital he added, "A very long night."

Chapter 47

        At ten o'clock that evening John Gage was in a hospital room. He'd suffered a concussion, smoke inhalation, and was dotted with multiple bruises and lacerations. Kelly Brackett had put fourteen stitches in Johnny's scalp halfway between his left ear and temple, but at least he hadn't suffered a skull fracture or any other broken bones as a result of the beating he'd endured.

        What time Roy went back to the station Johnny wasn't sure. He vaguely recalled Roy hanging around until all the tests were complete Brackett wanted run, and he thought Roy had even come in this room to tell him he'd see him tomorrow, but again, Johnny couldn't be certain. But then he wasn't certain of much of anything since he'd been dragged out of that warehouse.

        Johnny felt like he was moving within a dream. There was a part of him that knew Brackett, Roy, and Dixie were concerned because he wasn't verbally responding to them, but there was an even larger part that didn't care. Every so often Dixie would come in this room and sit on the side of his bed, but he never turned his head to look at her. Brackett had done the same thing a few minutes ago, which Johnny found funny in some remote corner of his brain.

        If I'm not in the mood to shoot the bull with Dix, I'm definitely not in the mood to shoot it with you, Doc.

        While Johnny remained in his own self-imposed isolation, Kelly Brackett stood at the third floor nurse's station writing in the paramedic's chart.

        "I want his neurological responses monitored every half hour throughout the night, Sharon," Kelly instructed the head nurse. "If he remains stable, and we detect no problems as a result of that blow to the head he took, then when I arrive in the morning I'll order a sedative so he can get some uninterrupted sleep."

        "What about his demeanor? Dixie said he's refusing to talk to anyone. That's not like Johnny. Usually we can't get him to shut up."

        "No, usually we can't," Brackett smiled. "At least not when he's conscious. As far as his demeanor goes...he's been through a lot this afternoon. And over the past few weeks as well from what Roy told me. Maybe he just needs some time to sort everything out. But in the event there's more to it medically speaking, that's why I'm ordering neurological checks on the half hour rather than the hour."

        "Yes, Doctor," the woman nodded.

        Kelly returned the chart to the rack. As he stepped around the counter he saw the elevator open. Dixie walked out with Mark Bellmen at her side.

        "Every time Johnny's our patient I run into this guy," Dixie joked. "Or so it seems anyway."

        "Yes, that is how it seems," Mark chuckled. He sobered as he turned his attention to Brackett. "Miss McCall filled me in on John's condition. Would it be possible for me to talk to him?"

        Kelly's eyes flicked to Dixie. She nodded her head, indicating to the doctor she had told the detective Johnny wasn't communicating with anyone right now.

        "I think whatever questions you have for Johnny would best wait until sometime late in the day tomorrow. I won't be releasing him until Saturday morning at the earliest. At the present time he needs to rest."

        "I understand that, Doctor. But right now I have to confirm the charred body we took from the warehouse is that of the man who's been murdering little girls all across the United States. John Gage is the only person who can give me that information."

        Kelly chewed on his lower lip several long seconds before giving in.

        "All right," he sighed. "But mind you that's a reluctant all right. Five minutes and no more. Any other questioning has to be put on hold until tomorrow afternoon."

        "I understand," Bellmen agreed.

        Mark could hardly contain his excitement as he walked with Kelly Brackett and Dixie McCall to Johnny's room. He was certain John Gage would confirm the dead man's identity as being that of the person who'd nearly killed him on the mountain. If so, this would be a feather in Mark Bellmen's cap of far reaching proportions.

        Early retirement, here I come.

Johnny didn't turn his head when he heard the door open. A dim light was on over his bed allowing Bellmen to see the ugly blue and purple bruise on his jaw, and the row of stitches in his scalp. He was on an IV of saline, as well as receiving oxygen via a nasal cannula. Dixie had told Mark this first measure was simply a precaution against dehydration, and the last measure was normal treatment for a mild case of smoke inhalation.

        Based on the footsteps that crossed the room Johnny knew three people had come to stand beside his bed. He wondered if Roy was back for some reason. He hoped his friend hadn't asked Cap to go off-shift. He hated the thought of Roy's paycheck being slim because of him.

        "Johnny," Doctor Brackett beckoned in a quiet voice, "Detective Bellmen is here to see you."

        Now it was Johnny's turn to sigh. He wished Brackett had told the man he had no desire to see anyone. He hadn't spoken a word since arriving here. How much plainer could he make it that human contact wasn't something he wanted at the moment?

        "John, I know this isn't the best time," Bellmen said with an apology in his voice. "I'm sure you're tired and want to be left alone."

        You can bet a week's pay on that fact.

        "I'm not going to bother you with a lot of questions tonight." This time Johnny heard a hint of humor in the man's voice as he continued. "I'll wait until tomorrow afternoon to do that."

        Oh, good. Something to look forward to.

        Bellmen glanced at Brackett when Johnny didn't turn his head toward them, or respond in any way. The doctor shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "I told you so."

        Mark forged ahead, determined to get the information he'd come here for.

        "John, Captain Stanley and Roy have filled me in on what they know about the happenings in the warehouse. The arson investigator's preliminary findings show the fire was deliberately set. We assume this was done to draw you there. We also assume the kids who told you there was a man inside who needed your help were either duped, or were paid off. Captain Stanley said the last contact he had with you came when you radioed to tell him there was a man on the second floor you needed to bring down. Was that the same man who beat you?"

        As much as Johnny wanted to be left alone, he knew that wouldn't come until he gave Bellmen some answers. He sighed again before finally nodding his head against his pillow.

        "Was it also the same man who Roy saw fall from the second floor?"

        Once again, Johnny nodded.

        Bellmen practically danced on the ends of his toes. He was coming to the big one now. The question that would have him telling stories about this case long after he retired. The question that would have him bragging that he was inadvertently a part of stopping a serial killer even the FBI couldn't catch.

        "John, was it the same man who attacked you on the mountain and tried to
to kidnap Jennifer DeSoto?"        

        The one word that came out of Johnny's mouth was harsh and choked, though Dixie didn't think it was because of the smoke he'd eaten earlier. She could hear the raw pain in his voice that spoke of a long denied sorrow.

        "No."

        Bellmen practically screamed his, "What?"

        "No."

        "You mean no, as in it wasn't him?"

        "That's what I mean."

        The detective looked at Brackett for guidance. The doctor kept his voice low.

        "Most likely he's confused. I told you tonight wasn't the time to question him. Come back around four-thirty tomorrow afternoon. Make sure you stop in the ER and get me. I want to be here when you talk to..."

        "I'm not confused."

        Brackett looked at his patient. "Johnny?"

        John turned his head. For the first time since the trio came in the room he made eye contact with them.

        "I'm not confused," John repeated again, the after-effects of the smoke making his voice hoarse.

        "So he wasn't the man who tried to take Jennifer?" Bellmen questioned again. He fumbled in his shirt pocket for a well-worn piece of paper. He held up a copy of the police artist's sketch. "He's not the man in this picture?"

        "No. It was Kent."

        Bellmen recalled Johnny saying that same thing to his father three months earlier in the ICU. So Brackett was right. John was confused. Confused and suffering from dementia due to his head injury.

        Mark gave the paramedic the kind of smile a person usually reserves for sick five year olds.

        "I'll tell you what, John. I think it will be better if I come back tomorrow afternoon and we talk again."

        Johnny's reply was flat and lifeless.

        "Whatever you want. But that won't change my answer."

        "Then tell me who Kent is."

        The only person in the room not shocked by Johnny's answer was Kelly Brackett.

        "His name was Kent Stone. Eleven years ago he murdered my wife and daughter."

        With that Johnny turned his face back toward the wall. He just wanted his visitors to leave him alone with his memories.

        Johnny was vaguely aware of Doctor Brackett leading Mark Bellmen from the room. He imagined the two men had quite a conversation out in the hall, but once again he didn't care. He could tell Dixie remained standing in the middle of the room. He could feel her eyes on him, then heard her move a chair between the wall and his bed. She was one of the last people on the face of the earth he'd ever be nasty to, so forced back the urge to yell at her to get the hell out. Nonetheless; he refused to look at her even when he felt her lightly grasp his hand.

        "I'll tell you the same thing I told Brackett three months ago. I don't want your pity, Dix."

        "How about a friend? Can you use one of those?"

        There was a moment of hesitation before the nurse felt Johnny squeeze her hand. She saw tears trickle down his cheeks to be absorbed in the white cotton pillowcase. She wondered now if the red eyes she noticed earlier were because of smoke, or if he'd been crying before she, Kel, and Bellmen entered.

Dixie didn't ask Johnny that question, or any of the others that came to mind while she sat with him that night. She simply remained by his side, accepting his need for silence...and a friend.         

Chapter 48

        
        It was three-ten on Friday morning and Johnny was finally alone. Dixie had left an hour earlier when he'd allowed her to believe he'd fallen asleep. Fifteen minutes after Dixie headed for home Johnny dutifully answered Sharon's questions regarding his name, age, the day of the week, and where he was. They'd repeated the process thirty short minutes later at three a.m.

        Johnny was wise enough to exercise caution as he sat up and swung his feet over the bed. He waited until the room stopped spinning before removing the nasal cannula and IV. He slid to the floor, the cold tiles making his toes curl in rebellion. He used the wall for support as he made his way to the closet.

        His uniform smelled of smoke and blood dotted the shirt. He was surprised it hadn't been put in a bag and sent with Roy, but then he wasn't about to complain. He held onto the doorframe as he put first one leg into the pants and then the other. When he had them zipped and fastened he began removing his hospital gown. He reached around to undo the ties, wincing as pain bit the biceps muscle of his right arm. When he had the gown off he folded it and put it on the closet shelf before slipping into his shirt. His socks had been rolled up and placed inside his shoes. He carried the shoes to the chair Dixie had been using. Being mindful of his many bruises, he inched himself to a sitting position. Bending was even more difficult. Although X-rays had revealed no cracked or broken ribs, his chest and back were sore. Because of that Johnny made quick work of getting his shoes and socks on. When he stood again he crossed to the nightstand. Once more, Lady Luck was with him. Normally a patient's personal effects were sent home with a family member or friend. Someone in the ER had evidently forgotten to give his wallet, keys, watch, pen, and miscellaneous change to Roy. He'd seen Sharon put the items in the nightstand's drawer shortly after he'd been settled in this room. He recalled her saying something about needing to give them to Roy, but now he was glad that had yet to happen.

        Once his wallet, keys, pen, and change were pocketed, and his watch back on his wrist, Johnny made slow but steady progress for the door. He listened a long moment, then eased it open just far enough to allow him to peer down the hallway. He didn't see anyone, so risked going farther into the hall. There were two nurses at the nurse's station. One was seated with her head bent over a patient's chart, the other was on the phone with her back to Johnny.

        Johnny knew his trip out of Rampart would be easier if he could take the elevator, but he had to pass by the nurse's station to get there. He looked to his right and saw a red sign that said EXIT. Once again he was lucky. His was the last room on this end of the hallway.

        The paramedic slithered along the wall, keeping one eye on the women at the desk. When he came to the heavy stairwell door he prayed it wouldn't squeak when he opened it. It didn't. He eased it shut, then headed down the three flights of stairs. He was smart enough to hang onto the railing. The last thing he wanted was to be found by a custodian in an unconscious heap on the first floor landing. He knew Brackett would kill him if that happened. Not to mention what Roy would have to say about the matter.

        When Johnny reached the ground floor he turned to his left. If he went right a door would take him to the main lobby of the hospital. Left took him to the parking lot.

        At this time of the morning Rampart's parking lot was deserted. Nonetheless; Johnny stuck to the outer edges of it, making sure to stay away from the overhead lights. When he came to the sidewalk that would lead him from the hospital grounds he gave a sigh of relief. He looked around for a pay phone, intending to call a cab. Before he was forced to do that he saw one coming his way. He held up a hand in order to flag the driver down.

        The cab driver found it rather odd that he was picking up a Los Angeles County fireman at three-thirty in the morning who smelled like he'd just come from a gigantic wienie roast, not to mention the blood on the front of his shirt, but didn't comment on those facts. After all, in his line of business you encountered more nuts than you could remember.

        The driver did a double take when Johnny gave him the address of his ranch.

        "That's almost an hour away."

        "I know. But I've got the money to pay you." Johnny pulled sixty dollars out of his wallet.

        "Okay, as long as you've got the cash I'll about drive you anywhere you want to go."

        "I've already told you where I wanna go."

        Geez, Mr. Fireman, a bit on the crabby side, aren't we? I think you could use a few hours of shuteye.

        The driver was wise enough to keep his thoughts to himself throughout that long, silent ride. When he pulled up next to Johnny's house he was paid in full and given a nice tip.

        "Thanks for your trouble," Johnny said as he slammed the door.

        Before the driver could respond Johnny had disappeared around the side of the house. The man shrugged his shoulders as he pulled out of Johnny's driveway.

        "As my mother used to say, takes all kinds to make the world go round. And you sure as hell meet 'em on this job."
        

___________________________________        

        
        At seven-thirty on that same Friday morning Roy backed the squad into its accustomed spot at Station 51. Brad Halstead was once again filling in for Johnny. He and Roy had nothing but a steady stream of calls since midnight. Brad shut the passenger side door, then stretched while yawning.

        "Just my luck. I end up filling in for Johnny when the moon is full. I swear, Roy, it never fails. I go on the weirdest calls when there's a full moon."

        "I hear ya'. Believe me, Johnny and I say the same thing."

        The smell of sausage cooking hit Brad's nose causing his stomach to growl. "And speaking of weird runs, we'd better get some breakfast before we're toned out again."

        Roy agreed and started to follow his temporary partner to the kitchen. He stopped when he was beckoned from behind.

        "Hey, Roy," Captain Stanley hailed as he stepped from his office.

        Roy turned. "Yeah, Cap?"

        "I just talked to John."

        "Really?" Roy arched a surprised eyebrow. "I figured he'd be sleeping right about now courtesy of a sedative supplied by Doc Brackett."

        "Brackett released him."

        "He did what?"

        "Brackett released him. John's at home."

        "How'd he get there?"

        "I don't know. I didn't ask. I suppose he called a buddy to come pick him up. Or maybe one of the nurses going off duty gave him a ride home. You know Johnny, he's got more friends in more places than any of us can keep track of."

        "Uh...yeah." Roy's tone was distracted at best as his mind mulled over this news. "Yeah, Cap, he sure does."

        "Anyway, thought you might like to know John requested a two week leave of absence. Considering all he's been through I didn't hesitate to grant it. I'll be looking at shift schedules in a few minutes to see what paramedics have asked for over time. I'll let you know who you'll be working with as soon as I've got a new schedule pieced together. Oh, and I told John not to worry about his Rover. I figured you and one of the guys could take it out to his place when we're off duty. You've still got a set of keys to it, right?"

        "Yeah," Roy acknowledged as he turned for the kitchen. "I'll get Chet or Marco to take it to Johnny's with me on Sunday afternoon."

        Roy stopped in mid-stride and looked at his Captain again.

        "By the way, did Johnny say anything about getting in touch with me?"

        "No. But he sounded pretty tired. I was surprised Brackett released him at such an early hour. But knowing John he was probably causing more trouble than he was worth."

        Roy smiled at his Captain's joke. As he turned away from the man his smile faded. He recalled his pale, bloodied, bruised and silent friend from the evening before. He hardly imagined Johnny was causing anyone trouble this hospital stay, and couldn't understand what would have inspired Kelly Brackett to release him when the last Roy knew the doctor had no intention of allowing Johnny out of the hospital until Saturday at the earliest.

        Roy did an about face and headed in the opposite direction from the kitchen. Before he could get to the phone in the dorm the klaxons sounded. Once again the squad was summoned meaning Brad didn't get breakfast, and Roy didn't get to make a phone call to Rampart.

___________________________________        

        
        Roy rode in the ambulance with the seven year old girl who had been hit by a car as she crossed the street for school. Fortunately she was more scared than hurt. Nonetheless; Roy felt she should be examined by one of the Rampart doctors.

        Roy left the child in the competent care of Joe Early, accepted the thanks of her parents, then headed for the nurse's station with Brad by his side. He reached down and turned the volume up on his Handie Talkie so he'd hear the call if they were toned out again.

        "I need to talk to Doctor Brackett for a minute," Roy said to Brad as he scanned the busy ER in search of the dark headed physician.

        "Take your time. I'll be in the nurse's lounge having a cup of coffee. If I'm lucky I might even find a couple of doughnuts looking for a home."

        Roy chuckled. "Brad, you don't talk nearly as much as Johnny, but you sure can pack away the food like he does."

        "That's 'cause us skinny guys gotta work hard at keeping our blood sugar up."

        As Brad disappeared into the nurse's lounge Roy felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder.

        "Roy, can I talk to you in my office for a minute?"

        Roy turned to face Kelly Bracket.

        "Sure. I was just coming to look for you as it was. Why'd you release Johnny?"

        Brackett's expression was both grim and displeased as he and Roy walked together down the hallway.

        "I didn't release Johnny. It seems he released himself."

        "What?"

        "He skipped out on us sometime between three and three-thirty this morning."

        Brackett stood back and allowed Roy to enter his office. He entered behind the paramedic and closed the door. Both men remained standing in the middle of the room.

        "Skipped out, huh?"

        "Yes. He pulled his IV, got dressed, and somehow got past the nurses. I've had the hospital searched but no one's seen him. I called Dixie...it's her day off, I called her at home but she hasn't seen him either. If he's at his ranch he's not answering the phone."

        Roy briefly wondered why Brackett thought Dixie would have insight into Johnny's whereabouts, but he didn't bother to ask.

        "I was just getting ready to call the station when I spotted you here. Has Johnny contacted you?"

        "No. But he called Cap shortly before seven-thirty and requested a two week leave of absence."

        "So that means he was probably at the ranch."

        "I suppose." Roy moved to Brackett's desk. "Mind if I use your phone?"

        "No," the doctor replied, immediately guessing who it was Roy was going to call. "Go right ahead."

        Roy dialed the number from memory. He let it ring twenty times before finally hanging up. He saw the phone books on a bookshelf behind Brackett's desk. He walked over and pulled one down.

        "Johnny's got a neighbor by the name of Bob Emery who takes care of his animals when he's on-duty or goes away on vacation. I'll call Bob and see if Johnny's been in touch with him."

        "If he hasn't been, ask this Mr. Emery to drive over to Johnny's place and check on him."

        "I will."

        As Roy dialed the phone again Brackett muttered, "I've never made a house call before, but if we find out Johnny's at home this may be a first."

        Roy didn't envy his partner when the irate doctor got a hold of him.

        What the hell made you do something this stupid, Junior? Roy wondered as he listened to the phone ring on the other end. You know pulling a stunt like this is only going to get you in hot water with both Brackett and Cap. You'll be lucky if your leave of absence doesn't turn into a suspension without pay. And you'll be lucky if Bob doesn't find you passed out in your house. If we end up coming back here in an ambulance Brackett and I will both take a chunk out of your skinny hide.

        After four rings Roy heard Bob's familiar voice. Roy identified himself, then without going into any detail asked, "Have you talked to Johnny this morning by chance?"

        "Sure have. He called to say he was going out of town and asked if I'd take care of the animals and keep an eye on his place for a couple of weeks."

        "Did he say where he was going?"

        "No, Roy, he didn't. But then, I didn't ask."

        "How long ago did you get this phone call?"

        "Oh...I'd say about seven-thirty. I was just stepping out the door to do my own chores."

        "I see. And did he say when he was leaving?"

        "Said he was packed and had his stuff loaded in the pickup so I'm guessing he hit the road as soon as we hung up."

        Aside from his beloved Land Rover, Johnny now had a red Ford pickup truck that he'd purchased two years earlier.

        "Yeah," the paramedic agreed. "Sounds that way."

        "Roy? Is there something wrong?"

        "Uh...no. No, not that I'm aware of. I'm just needed to get in touch with Johnny before he left. Thanks, Bob."

        "No problem."

        Before Roy even hung up the phone Brackett deduced, "Johnny's gone."

        "Appears that way. According to Bob he said he was going out of town for a couple of weeks."

        "But he didn't tell Bob where he was going?"

        "No."

        "He just can't make this easy on us, can he?"

        "Guess not." Roy put the phone book back on the shelf then turned to face the doctor. "How serious could this turn out to be?"

        "Very serious. He has a concussion, and as of three o'clock this morning had really no sleep to speak of. You know as well as I do he could experience blackouts, dizziness, disorientation, memory loss, just to name a few complications. The last thing he should be doing is driving."

        "I know. And I'm sure Johnny does, too." Despite his anger at his friend's foolish actions, Roy came to Johnny's defense. "But that whole incident in the warehouse yesterday left him badly shaken. No to mention what he's been going through since those letters started arriving. I know he shouldn't have left here like he did, but he's pretty upset right now. He...well he might not be thinking clearly."

        "Roy, I know that," Kelly agreed. "And believe me, I'm not always the hard ass
by-the-rule-book doctor Johnny perceives me to be. I don't have any intention of reporting John's little AWOL stunt to Captain Stanley if it can be avoided. I know he's been through hell since April, and now this...this curve ball he was thrown by Kent Stone. Something like that's bound to knock anyone off their feet for a while. Cause them to lose their emotional balance."

        Now Roy was confused. "Kent Stone?"

        "Hasn't Mark Bellmen talked to you?"

        "No. Who's Kent Stone? Is that the name of the guy who started all this? Who tried to kidnap Jennifer? Have they identified his body already?"

        Brackett took a deep breath before answering. He assumed that by now Roy knew the identity of the person who had been stalking Johnny, and then attempted to kill him in the warehouse the previous day. He thought a long moment, weighing whether or not he should reveal to Johnny's best friend what Chad Gage had told him three months earlier.

        When Kelly Brackett reached a decision he said, "Roy, you'd better sit down. I've got something to tell you that's going to come as both a surprise and a shock."
        

Chapter 49

        
        Despite Brad Halstead's groans each time the klaxons sounded, Roy was glad they were busy over the course of the next forty-two hours. He had less time to worry about Johnny that way, and at least the calls kept him from laying awake in his bunk long after everyone else was asleep.

        Roy didn't tell his co-workers about his conversation with Brackett. He allowed Captain Stanley to go on believing Johnny had been released from the hospital, as opposed to sneaking out in the wee hours of the morning. For Johnny's sake, and his own, Roy prayed Hank would never have to know differently. At least Roy had Brackett's support on this one. The doctor said the incident would never be mentioned provided Johnny wasn't brought back to Rampart in an ambulance. Which was exactly what Kelly Brackett, Dixie McCall, and Roy DeSoto were worried about as Saturday turned to Sunday and Roy still hadn't heard from his missing friend.

        The roads were almost deserted as Roy drove home after getting off duty at eight on Sunday morning. He didn't have to be back at the station until Friday. The blissful feeling that thought normally produced was marred by the fact Roy's mind kept wandering to Johnny.

        Where are you, partner? Camping in some isolated spot where no one can find you? Or did you just get in your truck and start driving with no real idea as to where you're going? Or...or are you dead on the side of the road somewhere? Jesus, Johnny, why didn't you talk to me? You can't keep something like this inside all these years and go about your merry way like a guy who doesn't have a care in the world. I always knew there was a lot more to you than you reveal to most people. Hell, within the first couple days of us working together I saw past your good-time Charlie exterior to discover what a dedicated, hard working, intelligent guy you are. And your big heart...well I always wondered why a guy who loves life as much as you do...who loves my kids as much as you do, wasn't married with five kids of his own. Now I know why. Now I know why you never get serious with any of the women you date, and why when they start to get serious with you, you do something that causes them to dump you. No wonder it never bothers you. You don't want them getting too close for a reason. Dammit, Johnny, why didn't you tell me? Why?

        Roy DeSoto was the first person to respect another's right to privacy. Overall, Roy knew he wasn't angry at Johnny for keeping a very tragic part of his past quiet, Johnny was certainly entitled to that privilege. But what bothered Roy was that because of all Johnny had done to protect Jennifer his past had come back to haunt him in ways no one could have imagined.

        Don't run, Junior. Don't run. I don't care who you turn to for help. It doesn't have to be me. Just...just find someone you can talk to. Someone you can trust. God, please let him find a friend who can help him through this. Don't let him commit...please don't let him do anything foolish.

        For that's what Roy feared the most. That Johnny had been pushed to the point where he was no longer thinking rationally. Where he might decide there was only one way to end the pain he was going through. The practical part of Roy didn't think Johnny would ever do something like that. If ever there was a person who possessed inner strength it was John Gage. Yet the husband and father in Roy knew how devastated he'd be if he lost Joanne and the children. What if the same thing had happened to him and he'd allowed eleven years to pass without really ever going through the grieving process? Without allowing himself to go through the necessary cycle of bereavement, anger, despair, sorrow, and ultimately acceptance? How would he react when the piper finally came to call? Maybe no differently than Johnny had.

        Roy climbed out of his car and headed for the front door. Today, more than any other, he noticed how lonely the house felt without the welcoming presence of Joanne and the kids. It was so quiet he could hear the tick of the clock that hung on the kitchen wall. He placed the Sunday paper and his car keys on the kitchen counter. He rubbed a hand over his tired eyes, wondering what he should do first. Call Joanne in San Diego. Take a hot shower. Take a nap. Eat breakfast. Or, just like he'd been doing every couple of hours since his talk with Kelly Brackett on Friday morning, call Johnny's house while holding onto the vague hope he'd answer the phone.

        Roy was just about to do the latter when his own phone rang. He had to resist the urge to question, "Johnny?" when he answered. Instead, he said simply, "Hello?"

        "Roy?"

        "Yes?" Roy replied to the voice that both was and wasn't Johnny's.

        "Roy, it's Chad Gage."

        "Chad," Roy nodded as though the man could see him through the phone line. "Hi."

        "Hi. Roy, John's here."

        "Here?"

        "At home. In Montana. He arrived around two this morning. He's sleeping now. He looks like hell."

        "I imagine so. Is he okay?"

        "Seems to be. Reah checked him over. Once she determined he didn't need to be taken to the hospital she did a better job of bawling him out than I ever have, then insisted he eat breakfast and go to sleep. I suspect she slipped something in his milk that helped him do just that, but I didn't ask."

        "Did he tell you what's been going on since June? About the letters? About the items left at his home? What happened in the warehouse on Thursday?"

        "In bits and pieces, yes. I'm sure we're missing a lot of the details yet, but I'm hoping once he's awake he'll feel like talking. For now we just let him tell us what he could, and didn't push him to tell us what he couldn't."

        "We've been worried about him. He snuck out of Rampart on Friday morning. I'm glad he showed up at your place."

        "So am I. He...he's so lost right now, Roy. When I opened the door to find him standing there...well, he acted like he wasn't even sure how he got here. He just...he just kind of stared at me with a vacant look to his eyes and asked, 'Will it ever be over, Daddy? Will the pain ever be gone?' Then he collapsed into my arms."

        Roy's heart ached at the thought of his closest friend hurting so much.

        "Is there anything I can do? Anything at all?"

        "Roy, you've done so much for John already. I can't think of another thing I could ask of you. Your friendship is the best thing that's happened to him since Kim and Jessie died. When he's with you, or your family, or the guys he works with, he's like his old self again. Like the young man I used to know before...well before Kim and Jessie were taken from us."

        The two men fell into a short silence. By the things Chad said it was obvious he assumed Roy knew of the tragedy. If Doctor Brackett hadn't told Roy about it on Thursday morning he'd have no idea what Chad was talking about.

        It was Roy who first spoke again.

        "Chad, have Johnny call me if he feels up to it. Tell him no pressure. I don't care what we talk about. Work, the weather, the Dodgers...makes no difference to me. Just...just tell him I'm here for him."

        "I will, Roy. And thank you."

        Roy thanked Chad for calling to inform him of Johnny's whereabouts, then the two men hung up. Long after the receiver had been placed back in its cradle the paramedic sat at the breakfast bar mulling over the phone call. Chad's words echoed in his mind.

        Roy, you've done so much for John already. I can't think of another thing I could ask of you.

        The blond man pushed himself from the stool. He headed up the stairs to the bathroom. His mind never left Johnny as he showered, shaved, ate breakfast, called Kelly Brackett to let him know where Johnny was and that Reah had given him a relatively clean bill of health, then attempted to sleep. It was three hours later when he sat up on the bed.

        I can think of another thing you can ask of me, Chad.

        Roy hurried to the closet. He pulled out his suitcase and some clothes. Within two hours time he had the suitcase in the car, he had called Joanne, and he had made arrangements for a neighbor to bring in the mail and newspaper until he returned on Thursday evening.

        Roy backed the car out of the driveway. As he drove toward the airport he wondered how long it would be before he could catch a flight bound for Montana.
        

Chapter 50

        Getting a flight to Montana wasn't nearly as arduous a process as getting to the small town of White Rock in the northwestern part of the state where Johnny grew up. Roy's plane landed in Helena at nine o'clock on Sunday night. He got an inexpensive room at the Best Western next to the airport. After breakfast on Monday morning he rented a car, purchased a map, asked for some directions, and caught Highway 141 headed west. Roy traveled in that direction for an hour, then caught Highway 83 headed north. Johnny had always told Roy Montana was like two different states combined into one. According to John, the eastern half of the state was flat and filled with open farm land. After a visit to that area you'd know why Montana was called Big Sky Country, Johnny once said. On the other hand, the western half of the state was filled with trees, a multitude of national forests, and was intersected by the Rocky Mountains.

        A drive that would have seemed long in eastern Montana where the flat land made the sights grow dull and repetitious passed quickly in this part of the state. Roy had never seen such beauty. The clear blue summer sky capped by the Rocky Mountains on his right and the tall thick pine trees on his left, caused the Southern California born Roy to wonder how Johnny could leave such a pristine place for the smog and congested living of Los Angeles.

        I know where I'm taking Joanne and the kids on vacation next summer. They'll love it here.

        Roy arrived in White Rock shortly before two o'clock that afternoon. The town was nestled between the foothills of the Rockies and the Eagle Falls National Forest Preserve. The buildings along Main Street spoke of an era gone by. Time had seemed to stop for White Rock at some point around 1950. Roy drove past the only bank in town, then a two story brick building that read White Rock Sheriff's Office on one door and White Rock Volunteer Fire Department over two big garage doors that no doubt held fire engines behind them. Next came the old-fashioned dime store with the sign above that read Kelsey's 5 And 10, the post office that still had a hitching post out front for horses, a theater, a Rexall Drug Store, Mabel And Ted's Hardware, the Eagle County Ranchers Grain And Supply, the bowling alley, Fitzgerald's Bar and Pool Hall, and a dozen other miscellaneous businesses before coming to the White Rock Cafe.

        At this time of the afternoon the cafe was empty. Roy didn't intend to linger long, but did enjoy the homemade meal of roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, and apple pie. The older woman who was both waitress and cook wiped off counter tops and tables while making small talk with him. As Roy stood at the cash register to pay his bill he asked the woman for directions to the Gage ranch.

        "So you're headed out to Chad's, huh?" She asked as she took Roy's money. "You must be here to buy some of his stock. It's common knowledge he's got the best cattle in the entire state."

        "Actually, I'm not here to buy anything. I'm a friend of Mr. Gage's son."

        "John?" The woman's blue eyes grew a little brighter and a smile touched the corners of her mouth. "You know John?"

        "Sure do. He's my partner back in L.A. We're..."

        "Paramedics. Yes, I know. Chad comes in here for lunch at least twice a week. He's always updating me on the latest news about my Jay Jay."

        "Your Jay Jay?"

        "That's what John used to call himself when he was first learning to talk. Every time Chad brought him in here I'd ask, 'Hey, good looking, what's your name?' He'd give me that charming little grin of his, bat those long black eye lashes, and say, 'Jay Jay.' I guess that was as close to John as he could get. Of course he wasn't much over fifteen months at the time. Just a little guy barely walking on his own yet.

        "He...John, wasn't more than a week old the first time Chad brought him in here to show him off. My husband and I have owned this cafe forty years. Though it's just me now. Cliff passed away three years ago."

        "I'm sorry to hear that."

        "Thank you. Anyway, Chad's wife Laurel and I were best friends as far back as I can remember. I stood as her attendant the day she and Chad got married." The woman's voice dropped as though someone might overhear her which Roy found amusing considering he was the only person in the place. "It caused quite a scandal, you know."

        "No, I didn't know. What caused a scandal?"

        "Chad and Laurel's marriage. Her father was the town doctor. A very well-respected, prominent man. He was one of the few people in White Rock back then who would have anything to do with the Indians. He went out to the reservation once a week to offer them free medical care. They weren't allowed to use any of the area hospitals in those days. Come to think of it they really weren't allowed to use much of anything in the 'white man's world' back then. Anyway, Doctor Hamilton, John Hamilton was his name, which is how your friend John came by his first name, Doctor Hamilton used to take Laurel to the reservation with him. A lot of people didn't think that was right. They said a white girl had no business being amongst those people. My own father included and he was John Hamilton's closest friend. Dad always said no good would come of Doc Hamilton taking Laurel out there. Well, I can't say no good came of it. She fell in love with Chad, they had four beautiful children..."

        "Excuse me? Four? I thought there was just Reah and Johnny."

        "No. There were identical twin girls born in-between Reah and John. Layne and Lorelei. Oh, they were just as beautiful and precious as they could be. Like all Laurel and Chad's children. They were only nine months old when they died. A bad strain of flu was going around that winter. It was 1943. There wasn't much in the way of antibiotics back then. If children got as sick as those two little girls were they were generally put in the hospital. Only none of the hospitals would take them because they were breeds."

        "Pardon me?"

        "Half breeds. You know, their father was Indian and their mother was white."

        "But what about their grandfather? Wasn't he on staff at a hospital near here?"

        "Sure was. But even he couldn't get the hospital administrator to bend the rules. It was so sad. Despite the care Doc Hamilton gave them, those two little ones didn't have a chance. A lot of children on the reservation died that winter. I think that's when Chad decided come hell or high water he was going to give his family a better life. He was consumed by a deep depression until John was born. That event seemed to bring him out of it and give him the drive he needed to make good on his promise to himself. Within a year of John's birth Chad was buying up all the land he could...which was pretty much unheard of considering he was an Indian. Then he and Laurel started building their home while at the same time nurturing a thriving business. They had a lot of happy years while Reah and John were growing up. They beat the odds I guess you'd say."

        "How so?"

        "What few marriages took place between a white woman and an Indian man back then were rarely successful. Most of those men...now I don't mean to sound prejudice 'cause I'm not, I love Chad like a brother and love his children as if they were my own, but most of those men aren't too ambitious and tend to have a weakness for the bottle if you know what I mean. Of course, a lot of it has to do with the life they're forced to live on the reservation. The best thing Chad ever did for himself and his children was move onto his own place. There's no doubt about it. Laurel loved him with all her heart and soul. And I know he loved her with that same type of devotion, though he's quieter when it comes to things like that. Laurel was the outgoing one of the two. John gets so much of his personality from her, while Reah's more like Chad. Laurel was always laughing, always had a funny story to tell about one of the children or something that had happened on the ranch. And she was always getting herself into the goofiest situations. Because of that I used to call her Lucy, you know, like Lucy Ricardo from the old I Love Lucy show. Laurel was a character let me tell you. She was also a wonderful wife and mother. And a wonderful friend. At first I used to wonder how she could be attracted to a man from such a different background than her own, but as time went on I didn't think of Chad as 'different' any longer. I just thought of him as Chad. As the man who made my best friend so happy, and who was a loving father to the children they had together. Then...well...life is life. You have to take the good with the bad, and Lord knows that family got more than its share of bad. But none of us has a choice in matters such as those."

        "No, I don't suppose we do."

        The woman finally stopped talking long enough to take Roy's money. She looked at him over the top of her cat-eye glasses as she punched the total into the register.

        "So, I'm guessing you're here to see John?"

        "You guessed right."

        "He's going through a rough time right now Reah tells me."

        "Yes, he is."

        "I haven't seen him yet, but Reah mentioned he's staying at Chad's. This is the first time he's been back since he left ten years ago, you know."

        "So I hear."

        "I'm not real clear on what happened to cause Kent's death the other day, but whatever came his way he deserved it. A good Christian woman like me shouldn't say that, and I hope the Lord forgives me for it, but what Kent did to my Jay Jay, to his family...it was horrible beyond what any words can describe."

        Roy simply nodded his head because the details Kelly Brackett had given him were sketchy at best.

        "I suppose I'd better quit talking your ear off and give you directions to Chad's place."

        The woman took a pen out of the pocket of her pale pink uniform smock and plucked a napkin from its holder. She drew a small map, then printed directions below it.

        "This is how you get to Chad's. It's easy to find. Once you're on High Creek Road you go straight for three miles. You'll see his home setting about three quarters of a mile off the road. There's a long gravel drive that leads up to it. It's a big one story log house with a chimney made from field stones. There's also a sign at the end of the drive that says Gage Ranch And Trucking. He trucks livestock for other ranchers, you know."

        "No, I didn't know."

        "Yep, he does. Anyway, you can't miss it."

        She turned the napkin over and started printing a new set of directions on the other side.

        "What are those for?" Roy asked as he watched her Bic pen move back and forth.

        "This is another set of directions."

        "To where?"

        "The graveyard."

        "The graveyard?"

        "I haven't seen John in ten and half years, but I'm still willing to bet I know him as well as I'd know a son of my own. My instincts tell me this is where you'll find him. If I'm wrong head to Chad's. If John's not at the graveyard then he's probably out riding a horse so darn fast he'll break his fool neck."

        Roy smiled. "Sounds like your instincts are still in tune with Johnny's actions."

        "Never doubted it for a moment. As I said, I've known him since he was born. He and Reah...well, they were the children Cliff and I were never able to have."

        Roy accepted the napkin the woman handed him. "Thanks."

        "You're welcome."

        As the paramedic turned to head for the door the woman added, "By the way, my name's Marietta."

        "Nice to meet you, Marietta. My name's Roy."

        "Nice to meet you, Roy. Do me a favor?"

        "Sure."

        "Bring Jay Jay in here for a piece of pie before he heads back to Los Angeles. Tell that boy if he even thinks of leaving without seeing me I'll swat his behind like I did the time he filled my antique claw-footed bathtub with ten boxes of cherry Jello. The antique claw-footed bath tub I had refinished and shipped here from New York City."

        "Cherry Jello?"

        "Yep. And believe me that stuff stains. The tub never was what you'd call white after that."

        "No, I imagine not. What made him do such a thing?"

        "He was pretending he was a fireman."

        "A fireman, huh?" Roy grinned.

        "Yeah. He was pretending he was putting out a chemical fire. He thought Jello powder would work good since he knew you aren't supposed to put water on chemicals. He was only five years old so don't ask me how the little imp came by that knowledge, but John was like that. Always full of surprises. At the time I wasn't too impressed with his ingenuity though. I chased him 'round and 'round that bath tub smacking his bottom with a fly swatter every time I got close to him."

        Roy couldn't help but laugh. Marietta laughed with him.

        "The one thing about my Jay Jay, you could never leave him alone for too long. He tended to get into trouble that way."

        Roy smiled as he headed for the door.

        "Believe me, Marietta, not much has changed over the years."

        Marietta laughed, then the paramedic heard the laughter die as she voiced a heart felt plea.

        "Roy...just help him, okay?"

        Roy looked at the woman a moment, sure he saw tears shining in her eyes. He gave a solemn nod.

        "I'll do my best."

        As he climbed in his rental car Roy silently promised again to both himself and the woman, I'll do my best.

Chapter 51

        John Gage stood in front of his mother's grave. He hadn't been here since the day they buried her in October of 1967. He'd left White Rock for Los Angeles in January of '68 with no plans of ever coming back.

        After he'd paid his respects to his mother Johnny glanced to the right. His eyes fell on the graves of the siblings he'd never known, Layne Rose and Lorelei Ruth. Not for the first time he wondered how his life might have been different had he grown up with three big sisters watching out for him as opposed to just one.

        The paramedic's attention focused next upon the graves of his maternal grandparents. His grandmother, Rose Hamilton, had passed away in 1965. He had nothing but fond memories of the woman and the times he spent with her as a child. She made the best chocolate chip cookies, and always had a smile and a kiss for him whenever he popped into her house on his way home from school. He knew it couldn't have been easy for her having grandchildren who were half American Indian. She was a pillar of the community and the local Baptist church. Marriages between Indians and whites were no more accepted in Montana during Johnny's growing up years than marriages between blacks and whites were accepted in Alabama during that time period. But if Rose was snubbed by some who had been her friends before her daughter married Chad Gage, she never spoke of it. She wrapped Johnny and Reah in her arms each time she saw them as though they were the most precious gifts Laurel could have given her.

        Grandpa Hamilton died a year after his wife. Johnny had always admired the man he was named for, and supposed some of his desire to check into the paramedic program when Dixie had first spoken to him about it was a direct result of his grandfather's influence. It wasn't unusual for Johnny to spend his Saturday's traveling with his grandfather as the man made house calls, just like Johnny's mother had done before him.

        At one time Johnny had thought his maternal grandparents died too soon. But after the events that followed their deaths he realized their passings were a blessing. He was glad they didn't live to see the murders of his wife and daughter, followed by the unexpected death of their daughter, their only child, just six months later.

        Johnny's paternal grandmother was deceased as well, but he barely remembered her. She'd died of cancer when he was only four. He couldn't pay his respects to her grave because she wasn't buried here. Her resting place was in the cemetery on the reservation.

        The cool breeze from the aging pines, maples and oaks ruffled Johnny's hair. He took a deep breath of the clean mountain air. A day like this in L.A. would be stifling hot with smog hanging overhead like a blanket threatening to suffocate anyone who walked outside. He would have never raised Jessie there. And if he ever married again and had children, something he rarely gave serious consideration to, he knew he'd move away from Southern California in a heartbeat even though it would mean leaving behind many close friends.

        The sixteen hours of uninterrupted sleep Johnny had gotten after first arriving at his father's house had done him good. He was still pale, and a bit unsteady on his feet, but physically speaking he was feeling much better. Johnny had eaten lunch with his dad today, then gone into his old bedroom to rest as Reah instructed was to be the case for the next several days. But Johnny only rested until he heard his father's pickup truck leave. He knew his dad had errands to run in Columbia Falls and would likely be gone until it was time to start chores late that afternoon. That meant Johnny had several hours when no one was around to keep track of him.

        Johnny didn't really know what made him stop at the cemetery. His only real intention when leaving the ranch in his Ford was to drive around the town he'd grown up in and see what had changed in the ten and a half years he'd been away. He drove past the high school he graduated from, and the small building that had been his grandfather's office that now belonged to another doctor. Next came the fire department where he'd started working as a volunteer shortly after his eighteenth birthday, and finally the house he and Kim had rented when they started their life together as husband and wife.

        When John came to the cemetery the truck seemed to have a mind of its own. He didn't really remember parking it on the small gravel lot outside the iron gates. Nor did he recall walking through those gates and following the gravel path that would take him to the graves of his mother, sisters, and grandparents. All he knew was that suddenly he was standing there remembering a childhood that was both difficult and pleasant. Difficult because he and Reah were products of a mixed marriage and often suffered the prejudice that came with such a union. But pleasant because he'd been fortunate enough to grow up with love and acceptance from both sides of his extended family. Johnny was grateful to the mother and grandparents who were now deceased who'd had so much influence on making him the man he was today.

        Johnny almost left the graveyard that afternoon without walking to the other side. He'd never visited those graves. He hadn't even visited them the day he buried his mother. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his Wranglers and took a deep breath. He didn't know if he had the strength to travel this particular path.

        The steps Johnny took were small and tentative. His mind kept telling him to head for his truck, but his body kept moving him in the opposite direction. When he finally reached his destination he wasn't surprised to find the big urn of fresh flowers there, nor the bench made of polished granite. That was something Kim's father would do.

        Johnny sank to the bench knowing fully well how infuriated his former father-in-law would be to see him here. The man had hated him because he was a half breed. He made it quite clear he didn't want his daughter dating Johnny's kind, let alone marrying him. But in the end young love won out over Daddy's wishes, like young love often does. Johnny supposed now, that wasn't such a good thing. Kim might still be alive if they hadn't run off and gotten married, but then again, maybe she wouldn't be. Johnny had quit weighing that possibility in his mind years ago. It did no good because there was never an easy answer.

        Johnny sensed a presence behind him, but didn't turn around. If it was his father he supposed he'd feel Chad's hand on his shoulder. If it was his former father-in-law he supposed he'd feel a punch to the jaw. Either way he didn't really care. He wanted to be alone, and wished whoever it was would leave.

        John did a good job of hiding his surprise when he heard a quiet voice say, "Hi, partner."

        Roy walked around the bench. "Mind if I sit down?"

        "I suppose since you've come all this way it would be rude of me to say no."

        "It would be. But I'll go if you want me to."

        "Go where?"

        "To your dad's place."

        "Did he ask you to come?"

        "No. But he called me on Sunday morning to tell me you were here. We were worried about you."

        "Who's we?"

        "Me, Brackett, and Dixie."

        "Does anyone else know?"

        "That you went AWOL you mean?"

        "Yeah. Like Cap?"

        "No. And Brackett isn't going to tell him either."

        Johnny was surprised. "He's not?"

        "No. He told me he wouldn't, provided you didn't end up back at Rampart in an ambulance. Though I imagine Doc Brackett will have a number of things to say to you about sneaking out of his hospital."

        "I suppose he will. Not to mention what Dix is gonna say."

        Roy chuckled. "You're more afraid of her than of Brackett, aren't you?"

        "You bet. Any man with half a brain is."

        As quick as the light-hearted conversation started it ended. Johnny looked straight ahead, facing the graves. The bigger stone was made of gray granite like the bench he was sitting on and read Kimberly Dawn Caufield. Born: March 21st, 1946 Died: April 28th, 1967. Our Beloved Daughter. The second stone was smaller than the first but its twin in every way other than the inscription. Jessie Laurel Caufield. Born: February 10th, 1966 Died: April 28th, 1967. Our Little Angel.

        Roy could barely hear Johnny when he spoke. His voice was nothing more than a harsh whisper.

        "I never knew how much he hated me until today."

        "Who?"

        "Kim's father. I never...I've never visited their graves. Kim was my wife. Jessie my daughter. Caufield was Kim's maiden name. Legally she was Kimberly Dawn Gage when she died. My baby was Jessie Gage, not Jessie Caufield. But he made sure no one would remember his daughter had married a half breed. I don't know why it surprises me. Or why it hurts. Especially after all these years. God knows it's a typical Benjamin Caufield move."

        "He was your father-in-law?"

        "Yeah. Though he'd probably rather choke to death than admit it."

        "Is he still living?"

        "I assume so. If not I'm sure he'd be buried right here next to Kim." Johnny swept out a hand. "After all, this is the Caufield plot."

        For the first time Roy noticed the dozen or more tombstones that bore the last name of Caufield.

        "He was...and most likely still is, the richest guy for miles. He owned a mining company. Kim was his youngest daughter. She had two older sisters, Kara and Kristen. They were all beautiful girls. Blond, blue eyed, good students, cheerleaders. Yet nice, too. The kind of girls no one could dislike despite the privileges they'd grown up with. They sure didn't get their personalities from their old man. He was a real son of a bitch. Their mom...she was a heck of a lady, but pretty well controlled by Ben."

        Roy didn't interrupt Johnny even when there were long pauses in his monologue. He could tell by the distant look in John's eyes he was reliving a part of his past. A part he hadn't visited in many years. A part he needed to lay to rest.

        "Reah and I went to grade school on the reservation even though we'd moved off of it when I was six. The public grade school in White Rock wasn't integrated then. But by the time Reah was ready to start her freshmen year in high school that had changed. My father and some of the other men on the Indian Council forced the issue. It was a long battle, but they finally won. The high school on the rez was for shit. Most kids never made it through more than one or two years. Dad wanted something more for his kids, even if it meant sending us away to boarding school in Helena. Which he would have done had he not gotten the public school to open its doors to us.

        "Sometimes I wondered if he was doing us a favor or not. God knows it was hell a lot of days. We took quite a bit of razing from some of the white kids. And from some of the teachers, too. There were probably fifteen of us attending by the time I started. I pretty much stuck with the Indian kids during my freshmen year, but by the time I was a sophomore I'd made friends with lots of white kids, too. I suppose a number of parents weren't too happy about that, but because of my Grandpa Hamilton...he was the town doctor, they kept their mouths shut. Despite all that, I liked high school. I wrote for the newspaper. Was editor my senior year. Joined the track team and played on the basketball and baseball teams."

        Some of these facts Roy already knew based on things Johnny had told him in the past, but he acted as though he was hearing them for the first time.

        "A real athlete, huh?"

        "Oh...I don't know," came Johnny's modest reply. "I guess I was okay. Track was my best sport, followed by baseball. I lettered in both of them. I got good grades, too, so overall my father's efforts weren't wasted. I felt I had to do my best for him...because of all he'd done to get doors opened for me and Reah. And to tell you the truth I didn't regret it. Not even when some bully would trip me in the hallway and call me a dumb redskin.

        "I first took notice of Kim at the beginning of our sophomore year. We had several classes together. She was already dating a guy by the name of Kent Stone. He was a junior. His father and her father were good friends. His father owned a big spread...ranch, north of town. He was no slouch in the money department either. I guess Ben and Mr. Stone thought of it as a match made in heaven. A way to combine their two empires financially speaking. I wasn't really serious when I started flirting with Kim. You know, teasing her and hanging around her locker telling bad jokes like fifteen year old boys do when they're interested in a girl."

        "Like you still do today you mean?" Roy joked.

        That got a smile out of Johnny.

        "Yeah, something like that. Anyway, I knew I liked Kim...I knew she made me feel like no other girl had made me feel before. I knew what I felt for her was more than a crush, but I also knew she was white and I was a half breed. No way would she ever consider going out with me. Or so I thought until she asked me."

        "She asked you?"

        "Yep. One thing about Kim, when she wanted something she was determined to get it. She came up to me one day after history class and said, "John Gage, are you going to ask me to the movies on Saturday night or not? Because if you're not, then I'm going to ask you.

        "When I finally found my voice I told her I thought she was dating Kent. He was the quarterback on the football team. You know, big man around town. Popular, smart, good looking, drove a Corvette convertible...the All American Boy. The kind of a guy a girl like Kim should have been falling over. I couldn't understand what she saw in me. A skinny half-breed kid whose bangs were always hanging in his eyes and who didn't have the money to show her a good time the way Kent could. I thought she was just playing around with me. You know, maybe asking me out on a dare from her friends. But at the same time I didn't think she'd do that. She was...there was a sincerity about her, a sweetness about her, that you didn't often see in fifteen year old girls. I figured what the heck, I'd risk it. If she was making a fool of me so be it. If nothing else I'd be able to brag to my buddies about the date I had with the most popular girl in school. The richest girl in town."

        Johnny used a hand to push his hair away from his face. Roy noticed he was careful not to come in contact with his stitches. He could tell the area surrounding them was bruised, still a bit swollen, and most likely tender.

        "So, we went to a movie that Saturday night. And roller skating on Sunday. The next Saturday we went bowling. The next Sunday on a picnic. Because I wasn't driving yet we had to meet at all those places. I didn't think too much of it when one of her older sisters kept dropping her off. It wasn't until Kent came up to me one day in school and slammed me into a locker while saying, "If I don't kill you first, Gage, Kim's old man will," that I knew we were headed for trouble. I asked Kim what Kent meant about her father. She started crying when she said her dad was really prejudiced. She didn't have to say anymore for me to know she'd never told him we were seeing each other, and that he'd be furious when he found out. Which was only a matter of hours because Kent stopped at Ben's office after school and ratted on us. Kim was forbidden to see me then. Ben tried to force her back into dating Kent. She'd have no part of it.

        "My parents liked Kim...they liked her a lot, but they thought I should respect her father's wishes. Dad kept telling me I'd only make things harder on both Kim and myself if we snuck around behind Ben's back. Of course I argued with him. Reminded him that he and Mom were happily married. In turn he kept reminding me that he'd had the support of Mom's parents when he started seeing her. He told me marriage was difficult enough when everyone gets along, not to mention what it was like when the bride and groom's family are feuding. But hell, I was a teenager. I knew more than my dad. Or so I thought. Kim and I continued to see one another on the sly. It got easier when I started driving the summer I turned sixteen. I bought myself an old pickup truck from the money I made working for my dad. Kim had a girlfriend who would cover for her. You know, say they were together at the movies or whatever when Kim was really with me. I led my parents to believe I was out with my buddies. I think Gray Wolf knew differently, though I don't know how. My grandfather's got this kind of eerie sixth sense sometimes. More than once during that time he told me that if I had to be dishonest about what I was doing then maybe I wasn't doing the right thing. But he never said a word to my folks. That's just the kind of guy he is."

        "I can see why you admire him so much. Chris and Jennifer were ready to adopt him."

        Johnny smiled. "Yeah, he's great. Probably about the coolest grandfather a kid could have."

        John sobered again as he stared at the tombstones.

        "Kim and I dated all through high school. I'm not sure if Kent even realized that. He kept trying to win Kim back until he went off to college, but she would barely acknowledge him if she passed him on the street. She said he scared her."

        "Scared her how?"

        "She wouldn't tell me at the time. It wasn't until after we were married that I found out he used to push her around and rough her up when she wouldn't do things his way. For God sake she was fifteen years old. What kind of a guy pushes around a fifteen year old girl?"

        "A sick kind."

        "Yeah, he was sick all right. Far more sick than either Kim or I knew."

        Johnny stopped a moment. He rubbed his hands on the thighs of his faded jeans before finding the strength to continue.

        "By the time we were seniors we knew Kim's dad would never allow us to get married so we did what any mature teenagers do. We eloped the day after we graduated from high school."

        "But you would have only been seventeen," Roy said, taking an educated guess that Johnny graduated from high school in either late May or early June of 1964.

        "You're right. But in Utah you can be legally married at fourteen. Or at least you could at that time. So me, Kim, my buddy Toby, and her best friend Donna, piled in my pickup and headed out of state. We drove all night and made it to Salt Lake City the next afternoon. We were married at city hall. We went to dinner and then got a cheap motel room. I gave Toby the keys to my truck and told him to pick us up for breakfast at eight the next morning." Johnny smiled at the memory of his wedding night. "I don't know what Toby and Donna did that night, but I know what Kim and I did. God knows it wasn't the fancy kind of honeymoon I wanted to give her, but I promised her some day I'd make it up to her. That some day I'd take her to Hawaii, or Niagara Falls, or New York City, or wherever she wanted to go. Kim, being the person she was, told me she didn't care where we spent our honeymoon as long as we were together.

        "By the next night we were back home. My parents weren't pleased with me, not pleased at all, but at least they knew where I went. I'd left them a note. Kim, on the other hand, was afraid to leave a note for fear her father would track us down. Her folks were frantic by the time we showed up on their doorstep. When her father saw me standing there, and found out we were married, he came at me with fire in his eyes. He probably would have killed me if my dad hadn't shown up right about then. He must have known there'd be trouble. He got out of his truck and stood between me and Ben. He said, 'Ben, what's done is done. You can't undo this marriage so you might as well accept the fact that these two kids are in love and are now husband and wife.' "

        "What did your father-in-law say to that?"

        "He didn't say anything. He damn near burst a blood vessel screaming it. 'My daughter is not a half breed's wife! And you better believe I can do something about it! By morning this marriage will be annulled!' My dad just looked at Ben and kind of smiled in that sly way he has when he knows he's got one up on some prejudice pompous ass. He winked and said, 'Ben, I've got a feeling annulling this marriage isn't going to change what happened on the honeymoon. Am I right, kids?'

        "Man, Roy, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I wasn't ashamed of what we'd done. We might have been young, but at least we'd waited until we were married. But to have my dad bring it out in the open...well, I was seventeen. I wanted to die. Kim wasn't any better. We both blushed and looked at the ground. Of course that was all Ben needed to see in order to reach the same conclusion my father had. He came at me again screaming, 'You son of a bitch! You scrawny little son of a bitch! I'll kill you for touching my little girl that way! I'll kill you!'

        "My dad held him off and told us to get in my truck and get out of there. We did that...got in the truck, but I didn't leave until I knew my dad made it safely to his. Ben took a few swings at Dad, but none of them connected. He was no contest for my dad, who was used to doing hard labor, but I was afraid he might run in the house and get a gun or something. He didn't though, and we left. We went back to my folks' place. Kim was crying by then. Upset because her father was so angry, and upset because of what he'd said to me. Thank God for my mom. She got Kim through those first hard days. My dad was angry about what we'd done, too. He kept telling me I was headed down a difficult road, but at least he didn't disown me like Ben disowned Kim. Even though Dad wasn't happy with the decision I'd made, I knew he still loved me and that I had his support. He'd proved that in Ben's front yard.

        "A couple days after we were married Kim and I moved into a small house in town my Grandma and Grandpa Hamilton owned. We paid them rent, though they charged us next to nothing. It had a tiny kitchen that had once been a back porch, a living room, a bathroom no bigger than a closet, and two bedrooms. It wasn't much, but we could afford it and Kim's mom helped her decorate it by buying curtains for us and stuff like that."

        "So Kim's mother wasn't upset about the marriage?"

        "Not really. Like I said, she was a terrific lady. She was always nice to me. And not a phony kind of nice either. I think she liked me okay. Or at least had the attitude that if I made her daughter happy that was all she cared about. She told me once I came from good people. That she knew I'd work hard to provide for Kim."

        "What did your father-in-law think of his wife having contact with Kim?"

        "He didn't know. He'd forbidden it but Janet...Kim's mom, came over when Ben was at work. I used to worry about that. I didn't want Janet having problems with Ben 'cause of Kim and me, but she told me that wasn't my concern. Besides, Kim was close to her mom. I was glad they were able to maintain contact even if it was on the sly. Kim's sisters would come over, too, but by then they weren't living at home. They were both married, so there wasn't much Ben could do about them.

        "Kim had wanted to be a first grade teacher for as long as she could remember. When we got married I promised her I'd help her make that dream come true. She worked as a teller at the White Rock National Bank during the day, and went to the state teacher's college in Marshall three nights a week. Meanwhile I worked for my dad. I also started working as a volunteer fireman. Don't ask me why. I guess I just thought it would be an interesting way to pass the time while Kim was at school or studying.

        "Things went along pretty well that first year despite Kim's estrangement from her father. We figured she would have her teaching degree by the time she was twenty-two or three. My dad had already given us a plot of land on the ranch. We hoped to build a house a year or two after Kim started teaching. Then a year or two after that we'd start a family. It all sounded so perfect. So easy. So well thought out. But then the stork came calling long before any of those things happened."

        Roy smiled in a way Johnny didn't quite understand, but was too preoccupied to ask about. "The stork has a way of doing that to a guy sometimes."

        "Yeah, I guess. Kim was on the pill, but you know me. If something's going to fail that's pretty much foolproof it will happen when I'm around."

        "I've learned that over the years."

        "Well, believe me, I learned it a long time ago."

        Roy thought he saw Johnny's eyes mist over just a bit as he stared at his little girl's grave.

        "A month after our first anniversary Kim told me she was a pregnant. She was pretty nervous. She was afraid I'd be mad. But that was the farthest thing from my mind. No, it wasn't what we had planned, but how could I be mad? It wasn't Kim's fault, and it certainly wasn't the baby's. With that news I realized things had just gotten a little rougher for us, but I promised Kim she'd finish school and have her teaching career. We were lucky in that regard. She had a healthy, uneventful pregnancy. She was able to work and continue going to school. She had to drop one class in her seventh month, but I told her not to worry about it. She was so smart it wouldn't take her long to make it up.

        "Jessie was born on February 10th, of '66. Everyone said she looked like me, and I guess she did. Or at least somewhat because I thought she was the spitting image of Reah. She was..."

        Roy could tell things were getting harder for Johnny now. As soon as he'd started talking about his daughter the volume of his voice had dropped and it sounded like he was pushing his words past a lump in his throat.

        "Johnny, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

        "No...no," Johnny said, never taking his eyes from his daughter's grave. "I want to. I...I've never told anyone before, that's all."

        "No one?"

        "No. I...I've never talked about them. Not since...not since they...not since that day."

        Roy nodded his understanding. He fell silent again, patiently waiting until Johnny could speak again.

        "Jessie was a good baby. Happy. Content. Rarely cried. Kim was able to return to work and school when Jessie was six weeks old. My mom took care of Jessie during the day for us. I was at the ranch anyway, so I just took her up to the house on my way in. If Mom couldn't watch her for some reason then Kim would call her mother and take Jessie there."

        "To your in-laws home?"

        "Yeah."

        "So things were better with your father-in-law by then?"

        "I wouldn't say better. Or at least not in the sense that he'd have anything to do with me. But Jessie's birth did soften him a bit. At the time he had four grandsons, each of Kim's sisters had two little boys. I guess with Jessie being his first granddaughter that kinda brought him around. If nothing else he allowed Kim in the house again and started to bond with Jessie. At first Kim didn't want to go over there if I wasn't welcome...which Ben made quite clear was the case. But I wouldn't hear of it. As much as I disliked Ben, I wanted Jessie to know both sets of her grandparents. To have the same type of special relationship with them I'd had with mine. For as intolerant as the old son of a bitch was with me, he loved my little girl, there was no doubt about it. Which I always found funny in an ironic sort of way."

        "How so?"

        "She was a quarter Native American. Yet he seemed to be able to ignore that fact when it came to his own grandchild. Weird, huh?"

        "Yeah, it is. But I can't say it's the first time I've heard of a grandchild making a difference for the better in a grandparent's life."

        "I wouldn't go so far as to say Jessie made Ben a better person, but he was good to her so that's all I care about."

        When another silence filled the air Roy turned the conversation back to where it had been.

        "But your mother watched Jessie for the most part while you and Kim worked?"

        "Yeah. I'd say about ninety-five percent of the time, which I liked. Dad and I ate lunch in the house every day at noon so that meant I got to see Jessie. Hold her for a while, give her a bottle, change her, rock her to sleep, whatever. When Dad and I were done working for the day I'd take her home. If Kim was in school I took care of getting her fed, bathed, and to bed for the night. Some of my friends thought I was nuts to be so young and tied down with a wife and baby, but I didn't worry about their opinions. I loved the life Kim and I had together. I loved Jessie even though she came along about six years earlier than we'd planned. I was only nineteen, but my dad wasn't much older than that when Reah was born. Looking back now I think maybe it was good Kim and I were so young. We were too naive to worry about all the pitfalls we might face. We just took life one day at a time and did the best we could. We were both willing to work hard for our dreams, and I'd always been taught hard work would get you about any place you wanted to go. Heck, my dad was a living example of that. He came from nothing on that reservation and built himself into a respected businessman. He told me once that when he was a kid he never would have imagined an Indian could live off the rez and own a ranch besides. But once Dad is determined to do something he figures out a way to make it work. Because of that I knew Kim and I could make about anything work for us we set our minds to. But then...then Kent came back and everything changed in a heartbeat."

        "Kim's old boyfriend," Roy stated. "The guy in the warehouse last Thursday."

        "Yeah." Johnny hung his head as though he was ashamed. As though everything that had happened in days gone by, and in recent days, was somehow his fault.

        "He'd been away at college in Kansas on a football scholarship. He didn't know we were married until he came home in March of '67. He'd flunked out of school. At the time Kim couldn't imagine why. He'd always been a good student. But later...after Kim's death, I found out he was hooked on LSD, speed, uppers, downers, you name it. And booze, too. I don't know how he got so screwed up. Maybe just fell in with the wrong crowd. Or maybe didn't know how to handle the freedom college brings. Or the pressures. Or maybe it was just the times. God knows he wasn't the only kid doing drugs.

        "He looked Kim up as soon as he hit town. Found out she was working at the bank. He went there and asked her out on a date. She held up her wedding ring when she told him no. Kim knew how to rub it in when she had a mind to. Kent asked her who she'd married. She told me she smiled when she said, 'John Gage. Oh, and by the way, we have a beautiful baby girl named Jessie who looks just like her daddy.'

        "He lost it then. Blew a gasket right in the bank. The president and vice president had to escort him out he went so berserk. If it weren't for the fact that Kent's dad had buckets of money in the bank they probably would have called the sheriff. Looking back now I suppose Kent was high on something, but I didn't know it at the time.

        "And that was it. Or so I thought. It wasn't until later...again, after Kim's death, that her sisters told me Kent started harassing her the day after he saw her at the bank. He followed her to work. Followed her to school. Would call the house when I wasn't home, and call her at work. She was really scared, but she was afraid to tell me for fear I'd get into it with Kent. Which I would have. He probably would have knocked me on my ass between his size and the drugs, but there's no way I would have let him get away with that crap. I wish...so many times I've wished she would have told me. After she died I used to be angry at her about that. That she didn't tell me. Maybe I could have stopped it. Maybe it never would have happened."

        "Do you really think that's true?" Roy asked, though he wasn't looking for an answer per se, but rather for a way to make his partner see Kent's actions were beyond Johnny's control.

        "Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't. Even to this day I war with myself over that issue."

        Johnny paused again. Roy saw him shiver. Though the breeze was strong, it was far from making this July day cold.

        "Are you all right? Do you need a jacket? I've got one in the car."

        "No, I'm fine."

        "Sure?"

        "Yeah."

        Again, John pushed his hair from his face before placing his open palms on the warm granite of the bench. Without any further preamble he finished his story. Now Roy got the impression his partner just wanted to get the telling of that fateful night over with.

        "It was a Friday. I worked all day at the ranch, and Kim worked all day at the bank. My mom had Jessie. It was one of the first nice days we had that spring so Dad and I worked late repairing fences and moving cattle to new pastures. By the time we did the rest of the chores and I'd washed up it was seven-thirty. Mom knew Kim would be home studying so asked me if I wanted to stay and eat. I told her no, that I had promised Kim we'd go out for dinner. Then Mom asked me if I wanted her and Dad to keep Jessie over night. You don't know how many times since then I've wished I'd said yes. But I didn't. Mom and Dad did so much for us that I didn't want to take advantage of them. Mom would never take any money for babysitting even though Kim and I had tried to pay her more than once. Because of that I left the ranch with Jessie around quarter to eight. The White Rock Cafe was owned by my mother's best friend and her husband."

        "Marietta."

        Johnny tore his eyes away from the graves and looked at Roy with open surprise.

        "How'd you know?"

        "I stopped there for lunch about an hour ago. When I asked for directions to your dad's ranch Marietta gave me her life's history. Actually, more like your life's history. She was the one who told me I'd probably find you here."

        "I guess Marietta still knows me pretty well."

        "Guess so."

        "She was like a second mother to Reah and me. She was never able to have children."

        "She mentioned both those things."

        "So anyway, the cafe was always open late on Friday nights. It wasn't fancy, but Kim and I could afford it and I knew Marietta would want to see Jessie. It was dark by the time I got home. I took Jessie out of the truck and settled her on my hip. She was awake, laughing and calling, "Mama!" as we walked to the front door. There were lights on in the house, and Kim's car was in the driveway, so I expected to find her sitting at the kitchen table studying. The front door wasn't locked, but that was normal. No one around here ever locked their doors back then. I remember Jessie had turned to face me and was kissing my cheek...she'd just learned how to give kisses, and was squealing, "Daddy," because I was tickling her. Maybe if I'd been paying more attention--" Johnny shook his head as if to clear it of the fog that surrounded the painful memories. "I...I walked in the house with Jessie in my arms. I...the first thing I saw was Kim...Kim lying on the living room floor. There was so much blood. On her, on the carpeting, splattered on the furniture, the walls...her face...I couldn't even recognize her face she'd been...he'd beaten her so badly. Her clothes were torn in such a way that I knew...knew she'd been raped. It couldn't have taken me more than five seconds to figure all this out...but it felt like I stood there staring at her for an hour. I didn't even have to check. Somehow I knew she was dead. I remember thinking I had to get Jessie out of there. As little as she was...fourteen months old, she seemed to know something was wrong. She held her arms out for Kim and started screaming, "Mama! Mama!" And that's when...that's when it happened."

        Roy hated himself for what he was about to do. He saw the silent tears starting to trickle down Johnny's face, but he knew Johnny had to finish the story of that horrible night. Roy suspected his partner's emotional health depended on it.

        "What happened, Johnny?" Roy asked in a voice as quiet as the one his friend had been using.

        Johnny gave another shudder as his mind's eye vividly took him back in time. Roy could tell he was once again standing in the living room of that little house, seeing Kim as he'd last seen her eleven years ago.

        "He popped out from behind the door. Kent. He was like a crazy man. Swearing, and screaming, and swinging a baseball bat covered with blood. I don't...I don't think he meant to hit Jessie with it. To this day I really don't. It was me he was after but she...my baby was in my arms. When the bat made its first connection it smashed...smashed her skull. I think she died instantly. At least I pray she did. But he kept swinging it, and it kept hitting her. I tried to turn away from him so my back was to him, so Jessie would be protected by my body, but before I could do that the bat got me in the side of the head. I really don't remember much after that. I fell to the floor and I know he was beating me with that damned bat. I tried to fight him off but I couldn't. By that time my right arm was broken but I was still holding onto Jessie. I don't think I knew she was dead. Hell, I'm not even sure I knew she was hurt. I just remember thinking I had to save her. That if I died I knew my folks would raise her, so that became my goal. Protecting Jessie. I would have died that night, too, with my wife and daughter if it hadn't been for Toby and Steve."

        "Toby and Steve?"

        "Yeah. Toby, the friend who went with Kim and me when we got married. And Steve, another good friend from high school. They were on their way to the bowling alley and saw my truck parked out in front of the house. They thought they'd stop in and shoot the bull for a few minutes. Instead, they found Kent beating me to a pulp. They somehow managed to pull him off me and get the bat away from him. But he was so high that Toby said his strength was incredible. They tried to keep him from running out the front door but they couldn't. He fled into the night while Steve used the phone to call the police and my parents, and Toby worked to keep me alive until the ambulance got there."

        "Kent got away that night?" Roy guessed.

        Johnny nodded.

        "There was an extensive man hunt for him over the next few months, but they never found him. Kim's dad put a lot of money out as a reward. Like I told you before, Kent's dad had money, too. Everyone figured he'd financed Kent's way out of the country, had probably even paid to get him false I.D. and the whole nine yards...but it was all just speculation. No one really knew for sure. A year or so after the murders Kent's folks sold their ranch and moved to Idaho. Or so Reah told me. I was in L.A. by then."

        "How badly were you were hurt?"

        "Bad enough that it was a week before I was fully conscious. My right arm was broken, my left shoulder was broken, four ribs were broken, and I had a hairline skull fracture. Reah and my dad...they were the ones who had to tell me what happened. I...I didn't remember any of it right then. Sometimes I wish I never did. That my memory of that night had never returned."

        Roy nodded. He could understand why Johnny would say such a thing. He recalled Jennifer at the age of fourteen months and couldn't imagine what it would have been like to be carrying that precious little bundle of joy into the house only to have her tiny skull crushed by a baseball bat while she sat in his arms. Roy had to swallow the lump in his throat as Johnny continued.

        "Six months later my mom died. I found her in the barn. She'd been feeding the horses. After that...well, I just couldn't stay here anymore. Mom was the one who got me through each day after Kim and Jessie died. She didn't try to push me into making decisions I wasn't ready to make like my dad did. He wanted me to move back to the ranch and live with them. He thought I was only making things harder on myself by keeping Kim's clothes and Jessie's toys in the house. I know now he only had my best interests at heart, but at the time it caused quite a lot of tension between us. After Mom died the pain...the pain was too much. I had an overwhelming urge to leave White Rock. Half the town looked at me with sympathy, while the other half looked at me with disdain. I heard the whispers, the people who said I'd gotten what I deserved because I was a breed and should have married my own kind. I just wanted out of here, away from the memories, away from my past, away from the gossip, as fast as I could. Aside from working for my dad I was still on the volunteer fire department. We'd been out to a barn fire one Saturday night in December of that year. When we got back to the station I didn't feel like going home to an empty house. After the other guys were gone I sat down at the table we had in the kitchen. Someone had left a Fireman's Journal sitting there. I picked it up and started looking at the Want Ads. That's when I spotted a full page ad by the L.A. Fire Department. It said they were looking for experienced firefighters. I'd been a member of White Rock's department for two years by then so figured I might as well look into it. The captain of our volunteer force had also been my high school English teacher and track coach. I talked to him and he wrote me a nice letter of recommendation. I mailed it off to the address listed in the ad and two weeks later got a thick envelope in the mail that included an application and health papers a doctor would have to sign. I got my physical three days after that, filled out the application, and mailed everything back. Shortly after New Year's Day of '68 I got a certified letter telling me I'd been accepted at the academy and that I was to report for my first day of classes on January 20th.

        "I was smart enough not to tell my dad right away. I knew he'd be upset. So I went to work on the ranch each day, and at night started packing up the house. I kept a couple things of Kim's and Jessie's, and gave some stuff to Kim's mom and sisters, but most of it I took to Goodwill. By the time January tenth came I was ready to go. Kim and I had saved as much money as we could, and I had some money I'd inherited from my Grandpa Hamilton, so I knew I'd have enough to tie me over in L.A. until my full time salary kicked in with the department. I had to leave on the morning of the sixteenth, so it was the thirteenth that I told my dad. Man, was he pissed. He yelled, and hollered, and waved his fists, and told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I couldn't understand what he was so mad about. I couldn't understand why he didn't see that I had to get out of this town. It wasn't until a couple years later that I realized he was just worried about me and didn't know how to say it. That he didn't want me so far away from my family at a time when he felt I needed them the most, and working in a dangerous profession besides. Plus, it had always been his dream that we'd be partners in running the ranch and his trucking business. I know my leaving really hurt him for a lotta reasons, and I've always felt bad about that, but I've never regretted going. For the next two days Dad refused to speak to me. My last day here I worked long hours on the ranch, trying to get as much done for him as I could. When we finally called it quits I didn't know what to say, and I sure didn't expect him to say anything back considering how pissed he was. I kind of stammered and stuttered and finally just said, "See ya', Dad."

        "As I turned away from him I felt him grab my shoulders. He spun me around and pulled me to him. He hugged me and whispered, 'Call me when you get settled. I want to know how stay in touch with you. And please, John, whatever you do, be careful. I've lost so much this year. I can't stand the thought of losing my son, too.'

        "I promised him he wouldn't. Lose his son, that is. I hugged him back, then climbed in my truck and went home before I could change my mind. The next morning I met Gray Wolf and Reah at the White Rock Cafe for breakfast. Reah had tried to get Dad to come but he refused. Told her we'd already said our goodbyes. By eight o'clock I was on the road to L.A. From
there... from there you know the rest of the story. I worked as a firefighter and rescue man until the day Dixie gave me your name and told me about the paramedic program."

        "And I'm glad she did," Roy said.

        Despite the tears on his face, Johnny nodded. "I'm glad she did, too. Because of you, and Joanne, and the kids...well, I've always felt like I have a family in L.A. as much as I have a family here in White Rock."

        "You do, Johnny."

        "I know."

        Johnny wrapped his arms around his chest again. Roy didn't even think John realized he was rocking back and forth on the bench. Once again his eyes took on a distant look.

        "Jennifer's song. Her Sunshine song. Kim taught it to Jessie. Of course, Jessie was too little to really be able to say the words right, or to remember them all, but she knew the tune. She loved it. We used to sing it together all the time. We sang it that last night...last night she was alive as we drove home from my parent's house. It's so hard to believe sometimes. One minute I was telling my baby daughter she was my sunshine, and the next minute she was dead."

        Johnny paused to take a shuddering breath. Roy could tell he was near the breaking point.

        "I missed their funeral. I was in the hospital when they were buried. I...I never got a chance to say goodbye."

        And with those words John Gage covered his face with his hands and started to sob. Roy let him grieve alone until Johnny bent over at the waist, the movement threatening to tumble him from the bench.

        Roy moved closer to his friend and wrapped an arm around Johnny's quaking back.

        "It's okay, Johnny," he said softly. "Let it out. You gotta let it out. You've kept it inside too long. Let it all out now."

        Eleven years of pent-up grief was released in the White Rock Cemetery that afternoon. Roy stayed by his partner's side until Johnny had no more tears left to shed. When he was finally able to stand, Johnny gave Roy's arm a squeeze.

        "I'd like...I'd like some time alone with them if you don't mind."

        "No, I don't mind. I'll go wait by your truck. Take as long as necessary. But if you need me, just holler. You know I'll be here."

        Johnny nodded as a small smile lifted the corners of his mouth.

        "Yeah. I know you'll be here. Thanks, partner."

        "Any time, Junior." Roy gave Johnny's shoulder a final pat before walking away. "Any time."

        What Johnny said to his wife and daughter that afternoon Roy DeSoto didn't know. He imagined it was all the things Johnny would like to say to them if God could somehow grant the three of them one more day together.

        Roy thought his partner looked pale and unsteady when Johnny finally turned to walk toward him, but at the same time he could tell something good had happened here this afternoon. He could tell a long delayed healing process was now in the making, and for that Roy was grateful.

        As Johnny stepped around his partner to climb in his truck Roy thought back to the weekend this past April that had brought Johnny full circle. He thought of his own children who were healthy, happy, and alive because of John Gage. Then he thought of a precious little girl named Jessie whom Johnny couldn't save.

        Roy watched Johnny pull his truck onto the road. John waited for Roy to get the rental car started so he could follow him to Chad's ranch. As Roy slipped behind the wheel he lifted his eyes heavenward. Once again, thinking of Chris and Jenny, Roy silently thanked God for his friend. Then he asked God to help his friend heal. Then Roy followed Johnny to the ranch he'd once called home.

Chapter 52

        
        The remainder of Roy's days in White Rock were pleasant. He thought it had done Johnny good to walk with him down the small town's streets while pointing out various sights and reminiscing. When they weren't doing that then they were riding horses on Chad Gage's ranch, an activity Roy wasn't as thrilled with as his children were, but one he could tolerate provided the horse was gentle and had no desire to run. They also visited the Indian reservation where Johnny spent some of his childhood and where Gray Wolf still lived. Each evening at suppertime Reah and Gray Wolf would gather at Chad's. Roy could tell they, as well as Chad, were happy Johnny had finally come home. Everyone was cautious not to make a fuss over John though. They seemed to understand he was just now getting his bearings where home was concerned. Roy could tell the last thing any member of the Gage family wanted to do was frighten Johnny into staying away another ten years.

        Before he left town Roy made good on his promise to Marietta and brought John into the White Rock Cafe. Roy enjoyed hearing Johnny's laughter again as Marietta took great delight in telling story after story about all the trouble John Gage had gotten himself into as a child.

        "Not bad trouble, mind you," Marietta clarified to Roy as she refilled the men's coffee cups. "He wasn't a naughty boy, or a brat. Chad would have never allowed such a thing. He was just mischievous. 'All boy and then some' as his Doc Hamilton used to say. Full of energy and forever looking for ways to release it."

        Roy cocked an amused eyebrow at his friend. "Not much has changed, huh, Junior?"

        "Nope," Johnny grinned, knowing there was no use to lie in front of Marietta. "Guess not."

        Other than a few moments like that one in the cafe, Johnny had been quiet during Roy's stay. When Roy left on Thursday morning he and John stood beside his rental car saying goodbye.

        "See you in about seven days?" Roy questioned.

        "Yeah. I'll be heading back the middle of next week. I plan on returning to work a week from Monday. Or at least that's what I told Cap so I'd better be there."

        "Don't forget that you'll have to see Brackett first in order to get your release papers."

        Johnny rolled his eyes, not looking forward to that encounter.

        "I won't forget. Besides, he'll have to take these stitches out anyway."

        Right before Roy climbed into his car that morning Johnny moved forward and did something he'd never done throughout their six years of friendship, pulled Roy into a firm hug.

        "Thanks, Roy. For everything. It...having you here these past few days has really helped."

        Roy turned the hug in kind. "I'm glad to hear that."

        Roy gave his partner a strong pat on the back, then released him. His last sight of Johnny that day was of him standing in his father's driveway, watching the road until the rental car could no longer be seen.

        By six o'clock on Thursday evening Roy had arrived back home. When he reported for work on Friday he was able to tell his shift mates that Johnny was fine, but other than that said nothing. He didn't tell his co-workers that he'd been out of town, nor did he tell them all he'd come to learn while in Montana. That was up to Johnny to do if he ever chose to, which Roy highly doubted would be the case. When Chet said, "Hey, I thought you were going to call me about us getting Johnny's Rover out to the ranch," Roy simply shrugged and said, "I got busy. We'll do it during our next off shift."

        Like he'd promised, Johnny was back at work the week after Roy returned from Montana. He gave the release papers Brackett had signed to Captain Stanley. When Hank was out of earshot Roy said, "So, did Brackett chew you out?"

        "A little, but not too bad. He seemed...he seemed to understand why I had to get out of Rampart that night. Of course, he did tell me I'd better never pull a stunt like that again. Not to mention what Dixie had to say about it."

        "She was mad, huh?"

        "Probably more worried than mad. But she gave me a hug when she was done lecturing me so I'd say we're still friends."

        "Sounds like it."

        "She's a lot like Reah. Her bark is worse than her bite, and if she gets mad it's only because she cares."

        Roy didn't completely know what transpired in the interview Johnny had with Mark Bellmen. Suffice to say Johnny wasn't brought up on charges for Kent's death, and the arson investigator had proven Kent deliberately set the fire. Aside from the statement Johnny gave regarding the things Kent said to him in the warehouse, items had been found in Kent's motel room that proved he was the person who had been mailing Johnny the letters and leaving him the gifts. The mates to the tennis shoe and roller skate were there, as well as a variety of newspaper articles from all across the state that had to do with the still-at-large child molester and kidnapper who had invaded Johnny's campsite back in April. And Karen Cates, the young woman who worked in personnel at Fire Department Headquarters, had identified Kent from an old White Rock High School photo as being the man who said his name was Pete Donaldson and who had been in the personnel office asking questions about Johnny Gage.

        As far as the person went who had attempted to kidnap Jennifer, Detective Bellmen assured Roy the FBI manhunt was still on. Nonetheless; now that they knew who had really been stalking John Gage the detective thought it was safe for Roy to bring his family home from San Diego.

        After the kids were settled in bed their first night back home, Roy quietly told Joanne the details of all that had occurred since she'd been gone. She cried softly when Roy told her about the afternoon he spent with Johnny in the White Rock Cemetery. Like her husband, she wondered why a man as good and decent as John Gage had been forced to endure such heartache.

        Despite all that heartache, Johnny did seem to be healing. Albeit slowly, and often by taking a step backward for every two he took forward. He was far quieter than was normal for him the remainder of that summer, prompting Roy to tell Joanne he thought they should cancel the surprise birthday party they had planned for Johnny at the end of August.

        "I just don't think he wants to be around a lot of people right now, Jo. On some days Johnny's his old self, but on others...well on others I can tell he just wants to be left alone. He's dealing with a lot. Between Kent Stone resurfacing in his life, and the needless guilt Johnny is still carrying around over the deaths of Carrie Wrightman and Kristy Andrews, maybe we should just forget the party all together."

        "I understand what you're saying, sweetheart, and believe me, I know this summer has been absolute hell for Johnny. But that's why I really think this party will do him good. You know how he loves to be the center of attention. Even though very few of his friends know what happened eleven years ago, they do know what happened in April, and they do know that some guy tried to kill him in a warehouse a month ago. Because of that, I think everyone who loves Johnny wants to be able to celebrate this birthday with him. Besides, Jennifer and Chris will be crushed if we cancel the party now. Not to mention the three people I've invited that no one knows about."

        "What three people?"

        "Chad, Reah, and Gray Wolf. But don't breathe a word of it to Johnny. It's a surprise."

        "I won't," Roy promised. "I hope you're right about this, though. I hope it turns out to be a good idea."

        "Trust me on this one. My woman's intuition tells me it's better than a good idea. It's a great idea."

        Roy knew he had no chance of winning an argument when pitted against Joanne's woman's intuition. He kept his opinions about the upcoming party to himself, and in the end was glad he did. On a Saturday evening in late August the DeSoto backyard was filled with firefighters from various shifts and stations, their wives and children, a handful of Johnny's neighbors including Bob Emery and his wife, plus Kelly Brackett, Dixie McCall, Joe Early, Mike Morton, and a dozen other people from Rampart. Cars had been parked in the school yard up the street so Johnny wouldn't be suspicious. As far as he knew Roy was cooking out for his birthday and the gathering would consist of just Johnny and the DeSoto family. That's why the paramedic almost needed CPR when eighty people hollered, "Surprise!" as Jennifer led him into the backyard under the pretense that her father was waiting for him there.

        The biggest surprise of all came five minutes later when Joanne led Chad, Reah, and Gray Wolf from the house. When Roy saw the grin that split Johnny's face as he hugged his father the blond man knew the party was a resounding success, and maybe just what Johnny needed to remind him of how many people loved him and valued his friendship.

        The evening of John Gage's thirty-second birthday was capped off by Roy and Joanne. After the food had been eaten and the sheet cakes had been cut, Roy and his wife climbed the steps of the deck and stood together above the crowd. Roy raised one hand, signaling for silence. Slowly the noise level died until all that could be heard was an occasional shriek from some of the children who were playing kick ball in the front yard.

        As the guest of honor Johnny was seated at a picnic table in the center of the lawn. He was between his sister and Jennifer, with his father and grandfather on the other side of Reah. Chris DeSoto and the men from Station 51's A-shift were seated across from him. Like everyone else, Johnny had turned his head so he was facing Roy. The blond paramedic began talking, speaking in a voice loud enough so all the guests could hear.

        "It's usually my partner who does all the talking, so I hope everyone will forgive the fact that I'm not much of a public speaker."

        Laughter rippled through the crowd at the truth behind Roy's words. When the crowd quieted Roy spoke again.

        "I know most of us don't give much thought to the significance of a thirty second birthday. We seem to make a big deal out of eighteen and twenty-one, but then birthdays just kind of come and go until forty rolls around and our friends once again gather to help us celebrate another milestone. Well, I think everyone who's here tonight knows there's a lot of significance to Johnny's thirty-second birthday. Because of what he did for my children back in April, both Jennifer and Chris are happy and healthy tonight, as all children should have the opportunity to be."

        At her father's words Jennifer leaned into Johnny's side. Despite his embarrassment over Roy's speech, Johnny pulled the girl close and put an arm around her.

        "Those of us who kept vigil at Rampart remember five long days passing when we didn't know whether Johnny would live or die, which is why this thirty-second birthday is more important than most. My wife often tells me men are guilty of not saying things they should to the people who mean the most to them, and I guess she's right. So tonight, I want to say thank you, Johnny, for being my closest friend. And for saving my children's lives."

        For once Johnny didn't know what to say, and if the truth be known couldn't have spoken if he'd wanted to. The lump in his throat would have prevented any words from coming out.

        When the silence in the backyard had lingered as long as Chet could stand, he piped up with, "Geez, Gage, you've finally got a captive audience and you can't manage to get one word outta your mouth? Will miracles never cease?"

        Chet, and everyone else, fully expected to hear a growled, "Shut up, Chet," from Johnny. But instead all the Irishman got was a quiet, "No, Chet, I guess they won't."

        Johnny looked over at Chris and then down at Jennifer before adding, "And I don't think that's such a bad thing."

        When the emotional moment had passed it was Joanne who took center stage next.

        "Roy and I have one more thing to thank Johnny for tonight."

        At Johnny's puzzled look Joanne smiled.

        "This next event wasn't exactly in our plans for the future, but thanks to that weekend Roy and I had alone because Johnny took our children camping, another DeSoto will be joining the family come mid-January."

        Before anyone in the stunned crowd could get out a word of congratulations
an overjoyed Jennifer threw herself on Johnny, wrapping her arms around his waist.

        "Oh, Uncle Johnny, thank you! Thank you! Because of you my mom's gonna have a baby!"

        That was all the crowd needed to bring back the merriment from earlier. Everyone burst out laughing with the exception of a very red faced John Gage. Jennifer's words were the running joke for the rest of the night, and would remain so around Station 51 for weeks to come. It didn't bother Johnny, though.

        As a matter of fact he thought it felt good to laugh again.

        

Chapter 52

January, 1979

        
        
        Joanne DeSoto's pregnancy passed uneventfully and without complications. At nine thirty-five on the evening of January 16th, 1979, she gave birth to a boy at Rampart General Hospital. Roy called the station at ten-thirty that night with the news that both mother and baby were doing fine. Johnny promised to come visit the newest member of the DeSoto family the next day when he was off work.

        Roy's wish for continued healing for Johnny seemed to be materializing. Sometime that fall a picture of Kim and Jessie had been placed on the nightstand in Johnny's bedroom. Roy would have probably never known that fact if it hadn't been for Jennifer. She'd come out of the bathroom in Johnny's house one Sunday afternoon and noticed the picture as she passed by his bedroom. When she returned to the deck where her parents and Johnny were sitting she asked, "Who's the woman and little girl in the picture in your room, Uncle Johnny?"

        Joanne took an educated guess as to who the woman and little girl were, and was horrified at her daughter's nosiness.

        "Jennifer Lynn, you know better than to snoop! Now apologize to your Uncle Johnny."

        "But I wasn't snooping. I just happened to see it as I walked by."

        "Joanne, it's okay," Johnny said quietly. "She wasn't doing anything wrong."

        Johnny turned to the girl. "That was my wife Kim and my daughter Jessie."

        "Oh," was all Jennifer said, which led Joanne to conclude the nine year old had overheard conversations her parents had about Johnny's deceased wife and child.

        If anyone could read Johnny's emotions it was Jennifer DeSoto. They'd been in-tune with each other since the day they'd met. She wrapped her arms around Johnny's neck and whispered in his ear, "They're very pretty. Jessie looks just like you. I'm sorry they died. It makes me so sad whenever I think about it. I love you."

        Johnny pulled Jennifer into his lap and hugged her in return. Joanne saw the tear that slid from beneath one lid as he responded with, "Thank you, Jenny Bean. I love you, too."

        At Christmas time Johnny flew home to Montana. Roy thought he looked well-rested when he returned. He was glad Johnny was now able to visit his home with relative ease. He was certain Johnny's family was glad, too.

        Roy's new son was one day old when Johnny entered Joanne's room during evening visiting hours carrying an overflowing shopping bag in one hand, and a vase with a dozen red roses in the other. Joanne was sitting up in bed with the sleeping baby cradled in her arms as Johnny bent to kiss her cheek. This was the first DeSoto child who favored Joanne in coloring as opposed to Roy. What little hair he had on his head was dark like his mother's. Johnny thought his facial features were a cross between Roy and Joanne, which seemed only fitting since Chris was the spitting image of his father, and other than her blond hair, Jennifer favored her mother.

        "Congratulations, Mom. It looks like you've got another winner there."

        Joanne smiled down upon her baby. "We sure think so."

        Roy took the vase of flowers and set them on Joanne's nightstand amongst the other floral arrangements she had received.

        "Thank you so much, Johnny. That wasn't necessary. I didn't even get roses from my husband."

        "Then it's only right you should get them from your husband's partner."

        Johnny reached into the shopping bag next. "And now some things for the little guy."

        A huge red fire truck appeared first. Joanne and Roy laughed at its size.

        "You couldn't find one a little smaller than that, Junior? He'll be five years old before he's big enough to play with it."

        "Hey, when it comes to fire trucks the bigger the better. What kid wants to play with a puny fire engine anyway? That's no fun."

        "And I'm sure you'd know," Roy teased.

        Johnny sat the truck on the dresser across from the bed. The next present
that came out of the bag for the baby was a brown teddy bear dressed in rubber boots, a helmet with a 51 on the front, and a turnout coat that on the back had stitched DeSoto. Joanne knew a wife of one of the firemen at Station 8 fashioned the bears to order.

        "Oh, Johnny, it's precious," Joanne said as she took the bear from the paramedic and sat it in the bed beside her. "Absolutely adorable."

        Johnny handed the still stuffed shopping bag to Roy.

        "Here. Take this home to the kids."

        Roy's mother was at the DeSoto house taking care of Chris and Jennifer.

        "What's in here? It weighs a ton."

        "A couple board games they can share, a Barbie camper for Jen, and a new baseball mitt for Chris. He's been complaining that his old one is getting too small."

        "Oh, Johnny, you didn't have to buy them anything," Joanne scolded. "As a matter of fact you didn't have to buy any of us anything."

        "I know, but I wanted to."

        "Well, thank you. Thank you so much. You spoil all of us."

        "Except for me," Roy quipped as he put the bag at his feet and sat down on the edge of his wife's bed. "You didn't get me anything I see."

        "How about if I take you out to supper after visiting hours end?"

        That was an offer Roy couldn't refuse. He'd been eating on the fly ever since Joanne had called him at the station the previous afternoon to tell him her water had broken.

        "I'll take you up on that, partner."

        "Good."

        Joanne held the baby toward John.

        "Would you like to hold your new nephew, Johnny?"

        "I thought you'd never ask."

        Johnny carefully took the seven and a half pound bundle from Joanne. He took three steps backwards, then sat in the rocking chair beside the bed. The baby squirmed his tiny body a moment, then snuggled against Johnny's chest as he was gently rocked back and forth.

        Joanne wondered what Johnny was thinking as he looked down at the tiny form. A small smile settled on his lips, and there was a tenderness about his eyes that caused Joanne to conclude he was remembering the first time he'd held his baby daughter, Jessie Laurel.

        Roy must have been thinking the same thing because Joanne felt him grasp her hand. He gave it a light squeeze, and when she caught his eye he nodded.

        "Johnny?" Joanne beckoned.

        Johnny tore his eyes away from the baby to focus on his friends.

        "You know how Roy told you on the phone last night that we hadn't decided on a name for the baby yet?"

        "Yeah?"

        "Well, that wasn't exactly the truth."

        Johnny simply looked at the couple, confused as to why Roy would have told him they hadn't picked out a name for the baby when he inquired, if in fact they had.

        "What's the matter?" John finally asked. "Did you name him something so awful you're afraid to tell me? Geez, Roy, you didn't saddled the kid with something like Francis, or Ira, or some name that's going to have bullies knocking him around for the rest of his life, did you?"

        "No, nothing like that. Or at least Joanne and I don't think it's awful. What you think of it might be another story, though."

        "Well then, just tell me." Johnny glanced down at the baby before looking at his friends once more. "Or do I have to wait until he's old enough to tell me himself?"

        "Oh, I don't think we'll make you wait that long," Joanne smiled. "Roy wanted to name his son after two men who have meant a lot to him. His father...and his partner. Therefore, Mr. Gage, you're holding John Walker DeSoto in your arms."

        Johnny's eyes immediately dropped back to the baby. When he didn't say anything Roy prompted, "Johnny?"

        When Johnny finally looked up again Roy could see tears shimmering in his eyes.

        "For the second time in recent months I guess you've left me speechless, Roy." Johnny's gaze took in both Roy and Joanne. "I don't know what to say other than thank you. I can't tell you how...how honored I am that you'd use my name as part of your son's name."

        "No, Johnny," Joanne said. "It was you we wanted to honor. For all the reasons Roy gave at your birthday party."

        "But it's not necessary. I've told you both about a hundred times that I'd do anything for Chris and Jen. I..."

        "I know what you've told us, but to Roy and me it's so much more than that. Our children came back to us safe and sound because of you. You almost died in order to see that happen. We can never fully repay you, but we can name our son for you so that our children...Christopher, Jennifer, and John, will always remember why their Uncle Johnny is such a special guy."

Roy could tell the moment was getting a little too tough for Johnny. In an effort to lighten the mood he teased, "Besides, we had considered another name for the baby."

        "Another name?"

        "Sure. He Who Dances With Rattlesnakes DeSoto."

        Johnny groaned and shook his head. "Don't tell me, let me guess. The kids spilled the beans."

        "Yeah, they did. But don't worry, I didn't tell Chet. Jennifer will have my hide if I do."

        "No. First I'll have your hide if you do, partner. Then when I'm through with you I'll hand you over to Jen so she can finish the job."

        The three adults continued to talk and laugh quietly while Johnny rocked the sleeping baby. When visiting hours were almost over he handed John back to Joanne.

        "Joanne, take care of yourself and rest while you can. If my little namesake is anything like his Uncle Johnny you're going to be getting plenty of exercise over the next few years."

        "If that's the case Uncle Johnny's going to be doing a lot of babysitting before this boy is grown."

        Johnny laughed, but agreed to the deal. "You know my number. Just call whenever the need arises."

        Johnny made his leave then so Roy could have the remainder of the time allotted alone with his wife.

        "How about if I meet you at down the street at Carrigan's?" Johnny suggested to his partner.

        Roy nodded. The restaurant Johnny had suggested was large, informal, had good food, and was open twenty-four hours. At this time of night they'd get quick service and a quiet atmosphere.

        "I'll meet you there in about fifteen minutes."

        "See you then."

        Johnny bid Joanne a final goodbye, then walked out of the room. He rode the elevator to the ER floor, knowing he'd find Dixie McCall on duty tonight.

        Dixie was at the nurse's station with her back to the elevator when Johnny exited the car. He crept up behind her, wrapped his arms around her, dipped her, and gave her a long kiss. Dixie's employees stopped what they were doing and stared. They scurried off in a variety of directions when the head nurse finally surfaced for air. Dixie did her best at pretending to be angry. She put her hands on her hips and tapped one foot against the tiles.

        "John Gage, just what in the world do you think you're doing?"

        "Funny thing, Dix, I don't exactly know how I came by this information, but somewhere along the line I've heard we're an item. So, if we're an item, I figured I'd better enjoy it while I can."

        Johnny winked at the stunned woman and tossed her a lopsided grin as he headed for the doors.

        "Let the rumors fly, Dix! Let the rumors fly."

        Dixie waited until Johnny was outside before collapsing on the counter with laughter. Doctor Brackett paused at the nurse's station on his way past.

        "What's so funny?"

        Dixie stood and wiped the water from her eyes. "Kel, I think the Johnny Gage we know and love is finally back with us."

        "Now that's the best news I've had all day. Oh, and speaking of news, I just heard the most interesting rumor about you and Johnny." Kelly cocked a teasing eyebrow. "Really, Dix? Johnny? I'm sorry, but I just don't see it. I just don't see it at all. Why you're old enough to be his...much older sister."

        Kelly had to duck in order to avoid the box of latex gloves that was thrown at his head. He and Dixie were still laughing when Roy passed through the ER. The blond paramedic paused a moment, then asked, "Johnny?"

        The doctor and nurse nodded.

        Roy smiled as he continued on his way toward the door. Quietly he said to no one other than himself, "It's good to have you back, Junior. It's more than good to have you back."
        

        

Epilogue

        FBI Agent Quinn Dailey exited the government owned plane in Portland. He pulled the collar up on his trench coat to ward off the cold mist that was falling. If only for the mild weather he would have preferred to stay in California. But the Kankakee Killer hadn't been so obliging. He'd moved up the coast to Oregon, where another little girl had been found murdered.

 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Back To Dances With Rattlesnakes Cover Page|Email|Back To Title Page