When Dixie returned, she found Roy and Joanne standing alone by the waiting area. Joanne was wrapped in her husband’s arms; Roy’s chin rested atop her head, one hand rubbing slowly up and down her back.
Good, everyone’s gone. They
needed some time to themselves.
Dixie hated to disturb the couple, but they had to relax for a while and get something to eat.
“Roy? Joanne?”
The DeSotos turned as one. Joanne dabbed at her face with a Kleenex. Her eyes were red, and her voice nasally.
“Can we see Chris?”
“Not right now. It’ll be several hours yet. Why don’t you go to the cafeteria and get something to eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Joanne, you aren’t going to do Chris - or Jennifer and John - any good if you collapse. You need to rest for a while and have a decent meal.” Dixie looked up at Roy. “That goes for you too, Mister.”
Roy didn’t protest the nurse’s suggestion. Since they couldn’t see Chris, they might as well sit down and try to eat something.
“Come on, Jo, let’s do what Dixie says. It’ll be late before we get home tonight. We’ve gotta have something in our stomachs to keep us going.”
Joanne gave a reluctant nod of agreement. Dixie walked with the couple to the elevators, then stayed with them until they reached the cafeteria. She paused just outside the doors.
“After you eat, you can return to the second floor waiting area. A nurse will come for you when you can see Chris.”
“Eat with us,” Roy invited.
“Thanks, but no. I need to stop by the ER and check on Joh--” Dixie saw the scowl that started to form on Roy’s face and quickly altered her sentence. “Check some patient charts, then grab my purse and head for home. I’m back on duty at seven tomorrow morning, so I’d better put my feet up for a while and then get to bed early.”
Joanne thanked Dixie for all her help and hugged her goodbye.
From within the woman’s embrace, Dixie promised, “I’ll be in touch, Joanne. Take care of yourself.”
“I will.”
When the two women stepped away from one another, Dixie reached out and hugged Roy.
“Hang in there. I’ll call later to see how Chris is doing. If you need me, you know my number.”
“Thanks, Dix. You’re been a good friend for more years than I can count now.”
“You have a lot of good friends, Roy. Don’t forget that. Sometimes when the going gets tough, all we have is our friends to get us through the bad times.”
Though Roy knew there was a deeper meaning to Dixie’s words than she’d revealed, he chose to ignore her subtle reference to his thirteen years of friendship with John Gage.
After Dixie left, Roy and Joanne entered the cafeteria. Although neither of them had much of an appetite, they knew it was important to eat what they could. Over the coming months, Roy surmised he and his wife would expend a lot of physical and emotional energy. All three of the kids would need their parents in ways they never had before.
Roy chose a bowl of chicken noodle soup, Joanne a bowl of vegetable. They each took a tuna sandwich, and Roy chose coffee for his beverage while Joanne decided on lemonade.
The couple spoke of things parents in their situation would. They wondered how long Chris would be hospitalized, and how long he might spend in a rehab center.
“When I have time, I’ll get Dean to help me move Chris’s things from the apartment.”
Joanne nodded. Just two months earlier, her oldest son took his first big step toward an independent adult life away from his parents by renting an apartment with two other paramedic trainees. It broke Joanne’s heart to think that independent life had ended so soon, and might never be attainable to Chris again.
Roy then said what he would do at the house to make it wheelchair assessable in regards to ramps and handicap railings, and how the bathroom in the hallway would have to be modified to accommodate Chris’s needs.
“Eventually it’ll probably be a good idea to build on a bedroom with a master bathroom for Chris. Maybe a small living room and kitchenette for him too, so he can have some privacy. It’ll be costly, but we can take out a home equity loan, and I can work overtime to help make the payments.”
Joanne nodded, pushing the remains of her food aside. She’d eaten all of her soup, but now that Roy was talking about Chris’s future she had no interest in what was left of her sandwich. She knew without Roy saying it, he was thinking that Chris might live with them for the rest of their lives. That he might never marry, or might never be able to make a life for himself as a single man in an apartment or small house.
“If it comes to that, I can get a job, too.”
“No,” Roy shook his head. “We always said you wouldn’t go to work until John starts high school.”
“But if Chris is living with us, then he’ll be at the house when John comes home from school, and during summer vacation.”
Joanne could tell Roy hadn’t thought of that. While Chris’s presence in the house would help their situation from a financial standpoint because Joanne could get a job without concerns for John’s care, the woman knew it was hard for Roy to face how Chris’s life had changed. If you’d asked Roy yesterday, he’d have said Chris’s life was just beginning. Joanne was willing to bet that now Roy would say Chris’s life was over.
But it’s not over. Disabled people are living far more independent lives these days than they did just ten years ago. If Chris is determined to live a full life, then with the right kind of help I know he can accomplish that. Maybe that life will be with Roy and me to some extent, and that’ll be fine. We’ll do all we can for him. But maybe he can still work, still have some type of a productive life. Still feel like he has a purpose in this world when he wakes up each morning. If Roy and I project a positive attitude to Chris, then surely he’ll pick up on it and try his hardest to overcome all the obstacles in his way.
Roy shoved his tray aside and rubbed a hand over his forehead. “I guess we’ll have to cross each bridge as we come to it.”
Joanne reached out and clasped Roy’s left hand. “That’s all we can do, Roy. That, and keep a positive attitude. We just...we’ll just have to take it one day at a time and see what the future brings.”
“Do you honestly think Chris has a future that’ll extend beyond babysitting for John as his new career?”
“I...I don’t know, but I want to think it. I have to think it for Chris’s sake. So do you.”
“I wish I could, Jo. God, I wish I could.”
Roy stood, picked up their trays and walked them to the big cart where other trays and dirty dishes had been deposited. Joanne followed him to the hall, but paused there.
“I’m going to the ladies room, then I’ll use a payphone to call my parents and Eileen.”
“All right,” Roy agreed. “I’ll be upstairs.”
Joanne’s parents were retired and lived in San Diego. Her sister Eileen was single and lived in Sherman Oaks. She had a good paying job with McDonall Douglas, and though she led the kind of carefree life a woman without a husband and children could, she and Joanne were close. Joanne called her parents and Eileen earlier that morning, promising to call again when Chris was out of surgery.
“Okay. I’ll meet you up there in a little while.”
The couple parted ways. Although Joanne hadn’t necessarily planned for Roy to return to the second floor without her, she wasn’t disappointed that he chose not to wait for her. She visited the ladies room, then made the phone calls to her parents and sister. For the time being, Joanne didn’t tell her parents about Chris’s paralysis. That news could come later, when she knew more about Chris’s condition. She was forthright about it with Eileen, but made her promise to keep the news from their folks.
“I’ll tell them when the time is right. You know how they are. They’ll want to rush right up here, and while I appreciate their concern, I don’t want company right now. Within two days Dad’ll be bored and saying he wants to go home, and Mom’ll be rearranging my furniture, moving things around in my kitchen, and telling me that John’s too small for his age and that we let Jennifer have too many privileges for a girl her age. Besides, you know how Mom drives Roy nuts. With everything else that’s going on, a visit from our mother is the last thing he needs.”
Eileen agreed with her sister. Their mother was everything Roy wasn’t – gabby, overbearing, opinionated, and bossy. She meant well, but no, Joanne and Roy didn’t need additional stress in their household right now. Eileen promised to keep Joanne’s secret.
“Besides,” Eileen said, “maybe in a few days you’ll have better news about Chris. Maybe his doctor is wrong.”
“Wrong?”
“Maybe he will be able to walk.”
“Maybe,” Joanne said softly, but without much hope. She knew Kelly Brackett wouldn’t have said Chris’s paralysis was permanent if his medical knowledge told him otherwise.
“Call me if there’s anything I can do. If you need me to pick up John and bring him to my house for the weekend, just say the word.”
“Thanks. I might take you up on that. I’ll call you after we get home tonight. I’d better let you get back to work.”
“Okay. Talk to you tonight. Tell Roy I’m praying for Chris.”
“I will. Thanks. That’ll mean a lot to him.”
The sisters said goodbye, and Joanne hung up the phone. She didn’t head to the elevator Roy had used when he’d returned to the second floor, but instead, headed to the Emergency Room. She wasn’t surprised to see her daughter seated in the waiting area. Joanne sat down next to the teenager.
“You’re back from lunch already?”
“Mr. Adams made the mistake of letting John pick where we ate.”
Joanne smiled. “Oh, so you stopped at a McDonald’s, is that it?”
“Uh huh.”
“Did you get him to Grandma’s house without any problems?”
“Yeah. He didn’t raise a stink over it or anything. He seemed happy to be there.”
“It’s been a tough day for him,” was all Joanne said. “He’ll have fun with Grandma.”
“She’ll spoil him.”
“I think he needs a little spoiling right about now, don’t you?”
The girl’s eyes narrowed with anger. “After what he saw Dad do to Uncle Johnny, yeah, I’d say so.”
“Jen...”
“Mom, don’t scold me. You know Dad was in the wrong. I can’t believe he punched Uncle Johnny like that.”
“I know it’s hard to understand, but emotions are running high right now, so cut your dad a little slack, okay?”
“But--”
“Jennifer, please. For me.”
The teenager hesitated a moment, but when she noticed the pink tinge to the whites of her mother’s eyes that indicated the woman had been crying earlier, she agreed.
“Okay.”
“Thank you.”
Jennifer clasped hands with her mom. “You’re welcome.”
“Where’s Wendy?”
“She went back up to the waiting room with her parents. I told them I’d be up in a few minutes. I wanna see how Uncle Johnny is first.”
“So do I.”
“That’s what I figured. Does Dad know you’re here?”
“No. But even if he did, I’d still be here.”
Jennifer smiled. “Me too.”
Mother and daughter waited ten more minutes, then saw an exhausted Kelly Brackett walking toward the nurses’ station. The pair stood and approached the physician.
“Doctor Brackett?”
Brackett turned. When he saw it was Joanne at his elbow, he mustered a smile.
“Hi, Joanne. Jennifer.”
Jennifer skipped the pleasantries.
“How’s Uncle Johnny?”
“He’ll be fine.”
“My dad didn’t hurt him?”
The doctor handed Johnny’s chart to the nurse behind the counter.
“Betty, would you file this for me, please? And make arrangements for John Gage to be moved to a room as soon as possible. He needs to rest. He’s not going to be able to do that comfortably on an exam table.”
“Yes, Doctor. I’ll get right on it.”
“Thanks.”
Brackett placed a hand on Joanne’s elbow, steering the pair away from the nurses’ station. He hadn’t told anyone the source of the bruises and cuts on Johnny’s face, and he didn’t plan to. Whatever questions his ER staff had about it, one look at the doctor told them not to waste time asking.
When they were out of anyone’s hearing range, Brackett said, “Johnny hasn’t had anything to eat or drink since he and Chris ate at the station last night around five. He was also out on several runs with Chris prior to the final one at two this morning, so all told, he probably got an hour of sleep. I’m treating him for exhaustion, dehydration, and shock.”
“Shock?” Joanne questioned with alarm. “Did Roy hurt him that badly?”
“No, not at all. He’s got some cuts and bruises from the beat...from the altercation with Roy, but no serious injuries to speak of. Let’s just say it’s been a long night for Johnny, and an equally long day. The stress has finally caught up with him. The best thing for him right now is rest.”
“How long will he be hospitalized?”
“Unless something changes, he’ll be discharged tomorrow morning.”
“Can we see him?”
“Not right now. I gave him a sedative. He’s sleeping, and probably will for the remainder of the day.”
“Oh...okay. Well, if he needs a ride home in the morning, tell him--”
“Don’t worry, I’ll see that Johnny gets home if I have to drive him there myself.”
Joanne smiled her thanks at the man. She knew he was trying to avoid getting in the middle between Johnny and Roy, while at the same time also trying to spare her any further problems with Roy over this issue. Brackett had probably surmised that Joanne would give Johnny a ride home if he needed one, and he’d probably also surmised that right now Roy needed his wife’s support, as opposed to feeling she was taking sides against him.
“Thank you.”
“Would you tell Uncle Johnny that Mom and I came to see him? That we wanted to make sure he was okay?”
Brackett nodded. “I’ll tell him. And I’m sure when things calm down, you’ll have the opportunity to tell him yourself, too.”
Joanne thanked Doctor Brackett again for all he’d done for her family that day.
“I’ll be up in a little while to check on Chris,” the doctor promised.
As the women walked away from the physician, Jennifer commented, “He looks like he could drop into bed and sleep for about twenty-four hours straight.”
“I’m sure he could. I don’t know how many hours he’s been here now, but since he was on duty when Chris was brought in, he must have been up all night. He worked hard to save your brother’s life.”
Jennifer nodded, but didn’t openly voice her admiration for Kelly Brackett. For a long time now, she’d been considering a career in medicine. When she was younger, her choice was based solely on her father’s profession as a paramedic, and at one time Jennifer had thought she’d like to join the fire department. But as she’d grown older, she found herself drawn to practicing emergency medicine in a hospital just like Rampart. She rarely said anything to her parents about it though, because it would require a lot of money to put her through medical school. Now, with Chris’s injury, maybe the family finances wouldn’t allow for her to have a college education of any kind.
Jennifer pushed her thoughts aside for the moment. There were more important things to think about than her future – like Chris’s future, and what would happen if he could never walk again. As she rode the elevator to the second floor with her mother, the teen asked, “Mom, what’s gonna happen to Chris?”
“What’s going to happen to him?”
“If he can’t walk, what’s gonna happen? Will he be able to go back to the apartment he was sharing with Darrel and Tim? Will he be able to work for the fire department? Or go back to college, and then get a job afterwards?”
“I don’t know, Jen. Your father and I talked about all of that a little bit while we ate lunch. We both agreed that for now, we just have to take it one day at a time.” Joanne gave her daughter a reassuring smile while brushing a strand of long hair over the girl’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. One way or another, everything will work out for the best.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“I want to.”
“So do I.”
“Then for Chris’s sake, believe it, Jenny.”
“Whatta ya’ mean?”
“Whenever you see your brother, have a positive attitude, even if he doesn’t. You have to make him believe he can do anything he sets his mind to.”
“You think that’ll help?”
“I know it will.”
“Okay. I can do that.”
“Good girl.”
When Joanne and Jennifer exited the elevator, Joanne spotted Roy seated with Wendy and her parents. As she reached the group she asked, “No word yet on when we can see Chris?”
“No,” Roy answered. “Not yet.”
Just by arching one eyebrow and tilting her head to the right, Joanne indicated that she wanted to speak privately with her husband. Roy relinquished his seat to Jennifer and followed Joanne halfway down the corridor. When Joanne decided they’d walked far enough away so that no one could hear them, she turned and faced her husband.
“I stopped in the Emergency Room to check on Johnny.”
Roy sighed. It was the only hint he gave that he wasn’t pleased with his wife.
“Johnny hadn't had anything to eat
or drink since five o'clock last night, when he and Chris ate supper at the
station. They were out on several runs before their final one this morning at
two. Doctor Brackett says that between those things, the stress Johnny was
under while he was taking care of Chris at the scene, and your attack on him,
all of it’s been more than Johnny's body could take.”
“I didn't attack him.”
“Just what do you call it
then?”
“I don't call it anything.”
“It certainly looked like an
attack to me. A physical and verbal one, if you want the honest truth. How
could you, Roy? Chris made his own decision about dropping out of school and
joining the paramedic program, Johnny didn't make it for him.”
“Maybe so. But Christopher
confided in Johnny long before he confided in me. As far back as when he was
sixteen years old. You’ve heard Chris say that yourself. Johnny should have
told me then. And he should have discouraged Chris. He knows I want our kids to
finish college. He knows I don't want Chris or John hauling hose like I did
while trying to make ends meet for a growing family. We struggled, Joanne. When
the kids were small we struggled a lot of times to make it from payday to
payday. It's only been since I made captain that things have gotten better. I
don't want that for my children. I don't want them to struggle to make a buck.
Gage knows that. He knows I wanted more for my kids. He knows I wanted them to
have a future. A bright future. But now, thanks to him, Chris's future is over
before it's even begun.”
“Roy--”
Roy turned away from his
wife. “No. Just drop it. I don't wanna talk about it anymore.”
“But
Johnny--”
“I don't
care about Johnny. I don't wanna talk to Johnny, and I don't wanna hear his
name spoken again in my home. All I care about right now is Chris. All I care
about is giving Chris every possible chance to get well. Maybe...maybe even to
walk again.”
“But Doctor Brackett said--”
“Doctors have been wrong before. Even Brackett.”
And
with that, Roy walked away from his wife.
Joanne stood alone in the long hallway. She wondered how they’d gone from Roy planning to build an addition on the house for Chris, to him clinging to some elusive dream that Chris would walk again.
And this business about Johnny’s
name not being spoken in our house again. Oh Roy, do you have any idea what a
mistake you’ll be making if you really mean that? If you don’t come to terms with all of this and make things right
between you and Johnny? You’re in the
process of ending a friendship that’s meant so much to you. That’s meant so much to the kids and me,
too. Friendships like that are
rare. If you don’t mend fences with
Johnny, something tells me that someday you’ll regret losing his friendship in
ways you can’t imagine right now.
Joanne wanted to say all of those things to her husband, but before she had the chance to catch up to him a nurse appeared and said they could see Chris for five minutes. When things had calmed down enough three days later that Joanne finally did get a chance to start a serious discuss with her husband about John Gage, Roy proved to her that he’d meant what he’d said. He held up a hand to silence her as he walked out of the kitchen.
“I told you I didn’t wanna hear Gage’s name spoken in this house again, and I wasn’t kidding.”
Joanne sighed as her husband headed out the front door. She shouted after him, “Do you even care if I think you’re making the biggest mistake of your life by ending your friendship with Johnny?”
The only answer Joanne received was the roar of the Porsche’s engine. It wasn’t the answer she wanted, but the woman had a feeling it was the only one she was going to get.
Chapter 8
For a man who’d once declared John Gage’s name was never to
be spoken in his house again, I found myself saying the name a lot in the days
following Clarice’s phone call – and worrying a lot about the person that name
identified.
I spoke with Clarice each day for the ten days Johnny was
hospitalized. When he was strong
enough, an MRI was done. That test didn’t show any further aneurysms. I breathed a sigh of relief when hearing
that news, as I’m sure Johnny’s family did too. By the time Johnny was released from the hospital, his doctor
knew he was experiencing weakness in his left leg and arm, as well as some
problems with his short-term memory.
“Doctor Webber is hopeful that with time and physical
therapy, John will overcome both of those challenges,” Clarice told me on the
morning Chad and Carl went to bring Johnny home from the hospital. “It’s his
speech the doctor is most concerned about.”
Even though Clarice couldn’t see my movement, I nodded. I’d
spoken to Johnny on the phone four times during the two weeks he was
hospitalized. The first time I called,
it was impossible for me to understand him.
His words were garbled, leaving me with no idea what he was saying.
Before this happened, I would have said having a conversation with John Gage is
never a challenge. No one can accuse
the man of not holding up his end of a discussion, and he usually holds up my
end as well. But now talking with
Johnny was a challenge. I found myself guessing at his words and struggling
to give the proper response. I’d said,
“Sure,” a lot, and, “Oh, really?” like I was talking with someone who spoke a
foreign language. It was uncomfortable for me, and even more so for Johnny. I
could tell by his tone he was frustrated at his inability to communicate, so
rather than risk upsetting him even more, I said, “Listen, I know you must be
tired. Why don’t you hand the phone
back to your dad. I’ll talk to you again in a day or two.”
Subsequent conversations didn’t go any better. By the time
I’d placed the fourth phone call, Johnny wouldn’t talk to me. He had the
receiver to his ear and was listening, but he refused to respond. That worried me enough that I called
Johnny’s house later that evening and talked to Chad about it. He’d been the one who’d answered the phone
in Johnny’s room that afternoon, so he’d been present throughout my awkward
one-sided conversation with his son.
“He’s been that way the last few days, Roy. He won’t even try to talk.”
“But didn’t his doctor say he has to try in order to
improve?”
“Yeah, that’s what Doctor Webber said, but you know
John. He can be stubborn as a mule when
he thinks he has good reason to be.
He’s been like that since he was two years old.”
I’d encountered Johnny’s stubborn side on occasion. More
than once when we were partners, that stubborn streak of his kept us
alive. However, I didn’t think now was
the time for Johnny to allow stubborn pride to interfere with his recovery. On the other hand, I understood at least
some of what he was feeling.
Despite the fact that Johnny could run on at the mouth,
especially in his younger days, his ability to communicate had taken him far in
life. Back when he was the paramedic
instructor for L.A. County, I’d sat in on a couple of his classes. Johnny was an outstanding teacher. He
quickly established a rapport with his students that was a direct result of his
ease at standing in front of an audience. It’s an ease I don’t have. Since
becoming a paramedic instructor myself, I’ve often envied Johnny’s ability to
seem right at home whether he’s speaking in front of five people, or five
hundred.
I’d seen this ease
again when I’d visited Johnny in Eagle Harbor over Thanksgiving weekend six
years ago, and sat in on a staff meeting he held. It’d be difficult for any one
of us to have our ability to communicate taken away, but for a man like Johnny,
who used his verbal skills to run a fire department on a daily basis, it had to
be devastating. And it wasn’t just the
small town of Eagle Harbor that John Gage’s knowledge impacted. In many ways, the entire state of Alaska had
benefited from the man’s presence. Johnny chaired the annual paramedic meeting
held in Anchorage each year, and he’d helped implement paramedic programs in
small hamlets all across Alaska – places so remote that emergency medical care
was days away by vehicle, and hours away by air. Again, Johnny’s communication skills were a must, as he taught
classes to men and women who traveled from all parts of the state just to have
the opportunity to learn from him.
I was sure Chad had thought of those things as well, and
how important they were to Johnny. So rather than mention any of them, I tried
to remain positive.
“Maybe Johnny’ll be more willing to try once he’s out of
the hospital and back in familiar surroundings.”
Chad’s, “Yeah. Maybe,” didn’t sound too hopeful, but I knew
he was worried, and at eighty-five years old, probably not able to cope with
the stress of the situation as well as he would have had he been twenty years
younger.
I continued to stay in contact with whoever answered the
phone at Johnny’s house – usually Clarice or Chad - during the two weeks that
followed his return from the hospital. Once Johnny was home, I didn’t want to
bother anyone or seem like a pest, so I limited my phone calls to Friday
afternoons. Each time I called, Johnny refused to take the phone and talk to
me. On the third Friday afternoon, I didn’t get an answer.
I didn’t think too much about that at first. I assumed Johnny had a medical appointment,
or maybe everyone had gotten into the Land Rover and gone to pick up Trevor
from school. I tried several more times
throughout the afternoon and evening. Jennifer was off-duty, so Libby wasn’t
with us. That meant the phone was free for me to use, rather than it being tied
up by a teenager with an active social life and more friends than I could keep
track of.
When it was nine o’clock in Eagle Harbor and I still hadn’t
reached anyone at Johnny’s, I called Clarice’s home. At first I thought I’d dialed the wrong number. The voice that
responded with, “Hello?” was raspy, hoarse, and a bit labored, as though
breathing was an effort.
I hesitated a moment, then asked, “Is this the Mjtkos’?”
“Roy?”
“Clarice?”
“Yes, it’s me.”
“You sound awful.”
“I’ve felt better.”
The woman’s cough was dry and harsh. I winced in sympathy,
knowing how much that action hurt Clarice’s chest.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ve got bronchitis and pneumonia.”
“Oh...I’m sorry to hear that. You’d better take care of
yourself.”
“That’s what Doctor Benson said too. He said if I don’t
spend the next three weeks at home resting, he’ll put me in the hospital.”
“Then you follow his orders.”
“Don’t worry. Carl’s seeing to that.”
“Glad to hear it.”
Clarice coughed again.
I waited until the coughing spell passed before saying anything more.
“I won’t keep you.
I just got concerned when I couldn’t reach anyone at Johnny’s.”
“You couldn’t?”
“No. Should I’ve been able to?”
“John’s there.”
When she didn’t add any other names like Trevor, or Chad,
or Marietta, I said, “Where’s everyone else?”
“John sent his father and Marietta home on Sunday. Said he
was fine and didn’t need their help.”
“He really said that?” I asked, not because I didn’t
believe Johnny would say something like that, but because, as far as I knew, he
wasn’t saying much of anything lately.
“Well, not in so many words, but that’s what he meant. Chad
was ready to get back to his own home anyway, and at the time, I wasn’t sick
yet. Oh, I was feeling a little run
down, I’ll admit that. But I thought it was because of everything that’s gone
on. It wasn’t until Wednesday that I
knew I was ill. By then, Chad and Marietta were back in Montana.”
“Where’s Trevor?”
“Church outing in Juneau. The kids’re sleeping over at a
hotel there. He won’t be home until Sunday afternoon.”
“Should Johnny be alone?”
“I don’t think so, but he insists that he’s fine. Carl’s
checking on him, but John won’t answer the phone, so that means Carl has to
drive out there.”
“But Trevor’ll be back on Sunday. He’ll be there with Johnny after that, right?”
Clarice suffered through another coughing spasm. I could
picture her sitting propped up in one of the large beige reclining chairs I’d
seen in her living room the one time I was in her home with Johnny. I imagined her wrapped in a thick robe with
a blanket over her legs, a glass of water and a box of Kleenex on the end table
next to her. I don’t know how correct
my mental picture was, but since I could hear the T.V. in the background, and
since I could tell she took a drink of something when she quit coughing, I
figured the vision in my mind was pretty accurate.
When Clarice was finally able to speak again, she
said, “Trevor’ll be there in the
evenings, but he’s in school during the day, of course, and then after school
he always seems to have some activity going on.”
Trevor was the president of his grade school’s student
council, on the school’s basketball team, and he played on a hockey team
sponsored by some of Eagle Harbor’s businessmen. I also knew Trev had started working for Gus Zirbel, the owner of
Eagle Harbor’s airport, the previous summer.
Early in the fall, Johnny mentioned during one of our phone
conversations that Trevor was still working for Gus a couple of days a week
after school and on Saturdays.
“What time does Trevor usually get home?” I asked.
“Around six. But as soon as he’s done eating, he has
homework to do.”
“Sounds like Johnny’ll be spending the bulk of each day
alone then, until you’re back on your feet.”
“I know, and I don’t like it,” Clarice croaked in a voice
so deep that it sounded as though I was talking to Carl. “I worry about him
falling, and Doctor Webber said the best way for John to improve his speech is
by having someone to talk to.”
“What about the guys from the fire department? Would some
of them be willing to spend a few hours with Johnny on their days off? They could draw up a rotating schedule of
some sort.”
“They’d all be willing to. That was the first thing Carl
suggested, but John said no. And I do mean he said it. That’s the one word that comes out loud and
clear.”
I chuckled. “Knowing Johnny the way I do, I imagine it
does.” I thought further. “What about
Reah? Did Chad ever get a hold of her?”
“He did. She was here for a few days last week, but flew
back home. At the time, there didn’t
seem to be any reason for her to stay.
Now I wish she had.”
Given Reah’s nursing background, she would have been the
perfect person to be with Johnny while Clarice was out of commission.
“And before you ask, Carl already suggested that we call
Reah and see if she could come back.”
“Don’t tell me, let me guess. Johnny refused to let Carl do
that.”
“You know him well.”
“Sometimes too well.”
“What about his physical therapy appointments? I’m sure he
hasn’t been released to drive yet.”
“No, he hasn’t.”
“Who’s going to get him to P.T? And for that matter, get
Trevor to where he needs to be after school, or pick him up? And what about the
grocery shopping and other errands?”
“Carl’ll do the best he can to handle all of that.”
I could already
picture how easy it would be for Johnny to miss some physical therapy
appointments. Carl could probably bully
Johnny into going, in the same way the years of friendship between Johnny and I
meant I could bully him if it was for his own good, but if Carl got tied up on
police business and had to send someone else – especially one of Johnny’s staff
members – Johnny might refuse to leave the house if his current mindset was
what I surmised.
Something in Clarice’s tone caused me to say, “Sounds like
Carl’s got a lot on his plate.”
“He’s awfully busy at work right now. He’s short handed by
two officers. One moved away, and another is out on medical leave. To top it
off, he’s in the middle of setting up a new computer system for the department,
and he’s taking classes in Juneau three nights a week. He has to every two
years.”
I didn’t ask Clarice for more details. For one thing, her
voice was losing what little strength and volume it’d had when she first
answered the phone. For another, I
assumed she meant Carl was required to take classes periodically in order to
stay current in the latest police procedures, just like paramedics “continuing
education” classes, as they’re referred to now days.
“Thanks for filling me in, Clarice. I’ve probably kept you
on the phone longer than you doctor would approve of.”
“That’s okay. It’s good talking to you. I...I’m worried
about him, Roy. I don’t like the
thought of John sitting alone in that house day after day. I…I know he’s depressed, and I think he
needs someone there with him. Someone
to keep him company, keep his spirits up, get him out of the house for a few
hours now and then, and most of all, make him try and carry on a conversation.”
“You’re right, but it’s not your fault you’re sick, so
don’t get upset over it. You need to do
what you doctor ordered and rest.”
“I know. I just wish he didn’t have to be alone. I wish there was someone he feels
comfortable enough with to let the person stay with him at least part of each
day.”
“Yeah, me too,” I agreed, while the beginnings of an idea
began forming in my mind. “Listen, Clarice, I’m gonna let you go. Take care of yourself, and don’t worry about
Johnny.”
“The first I can do, the second, I can’t make any promises
about.”
Clarice started coughing again. When the spell had passed and she’d caught her breath, I knew it
was time to say goodbye.
I told Clarice to take care of herself one last time, she
responded with the promise of, “I will,” and then we ended our conversation.
After I hung up the phone, I went into the living room
where Joanne was sitting on the couch in what she calls “lounging pajama”
watching the news. I sat down next to
my wife, though my mind was miles away in Eagle Harbor.
I was so distracted by my thoughts that I didn’t hear
Joanne until she said a second time, “Roy, I asked you if something’s wrong
with Clarice?”
I focused on my wife, realizing she’d caught snatches of my
conversation over the sound of the television.
I nodded. “She’s got bronchitis and pneumonia.”
“That doesn’t sound good.”
“It’s not. Especially for someone her age. It’s important
that she gets plenty of rest.”
“Aside from that, she shouldn’t be around Johnny, should
she?”
“No. The last thing he needs right now is to come down with
a virus.”
“So will Chad and Marietta be staying for a while?”
“They’ve already gone home.”
“They did? When?”
Joanne aimed the remote at the TV and shut it off, since
neither of us was paying attention to it.
I spent the next few minutes filling Joanne in on everything Clarice had
told me and answering her questions.
“Johnny shouldn’t be alone all day just yet, should he?”
“No. He shouldn’t. He could fall for one thing, and for
another, someone needs to get him to P.T., and work with him on his speech.”
“What about Carl?”
“He’s doing the best he can to help out, but he’s got a lot
of things going on right now. Sounds
like whatever help Carl can offer’ll be hit or miss at best.”
“What about some of the other guys from the fire
department? Can’t they--”
“I’m sure they can, but Clarice said Johnny already vetoed
that suggestion too.”
“Why’s he being so darn stubborn?”
That was the one question I had an easy answer for.
“Pride.”
“Pride?”
“He’s embarrassed by the way he sounds when he talks.”
“Did Clarice tell you that?”
“She didn’t have to. No one has to. I know that’s what it is.”
“Well, he’ll have to get past that if he wants his speech
to improve.”
Only a woman would think it could be that easy. Maybe it’s
the male ego that gets in the way of what appears to be a simple solution to
the opposite sex. I was certain Johnny
knew what he needed to do to improve, but it was feeling comfortable enough
with someone...having total trust in the person he was talking to, that was the
key to getting Johnny to try.
Jo and I sat together in silence for a few minutes. She must have thought I had nothing else to
say on the subject, because she stood to get ready for bed.
“You know,” I said slowly. “I’ve been thinking. Maybe I
should go up there.”
Joanne sat down again. “To Johnny’s?”
“Yeah.”
“But it doesn’t sound like he wants anyone there.”
“I know, but what he wants and what he needs are two
different things.”
“What about your classes?”
“There’s only four days left in this session. Monday and
Tuesday are review days; Wednesday and Thursday are final exams. I might be able to get Gene Reyer to cover
for me.”
Gene had been the paramedic instructor after Johnny left
the department in ‘85. He currently
worked at headquarters in personnel, but filled in for me on occasion if I
needed him to.
“I wouldn’t plan to leave until Wednesday if Gene’s
available. That way I can be there on
Monday and Tuesday for the review. It’s only fair to the kids. I’ve brought
them this far. I wanna stay at least until the tests are given. That way all
Gene would have to do is sit at my desk and oversee things while they take
their exams. He can bring whatever work he wants to from headquarters. There’s not much to it, really. Just making sure no one’s cheating and
helping out if anyone’s confused by the wording of a question or something like
that.”
“What about the essay questions?”
Joanne knew a computer graded all sections of the exams
with the exception of the essay portion.
“I can have Gene mail them to me at Johnny’s if
headquarters approves.”
“Sounds like it might work,” my wife agreed.
“I’ll have to get the chief’s approval first. I’ll call
headquarters tomorrow morning and see if he’s on duty. If he is, I’ll take a drive over there and
talk to him.”
I didn’t foresee not getting approval from the current
chief of the department to miss my last two days of classes. Frank Young was an old friend of mine. We’d gone through the academy together, and
then worked out of the same station as rookies. Frank had lived in my
neighborhood when our kids were growing up. Frank’s daughter, Cindy, and
Jennifer were friends throughout grade school and high school.
“And if he’s not on duty?”
I smiled. “Then I’ll go to his house and talk to him.”
Joanne smiled in return.
“It helps to have friends in high places at a time like this, huh?”
“It does,” I agreed. “If Frank okay’s my request, then I’ll
call Gene and see if he can cover for me.”
Once exams were finished, I had eight weeks off before the
next session started, so I had no concerns that I wouldn’t be back in time to
begin teaching again. If Clarice wasn’t well enough to return to her roll as
Johnny’s housekeeper by that time, and if Johnny still needed someone there
with him on a daily basis, then arrangements of some sort would have to be
made. For now, I figured we’d cross
that bridge when, and if, we came to it.
“The only thing that’s still a concern,” I said to my wife,
“is Libby.”
“What about her?”
“I’m the one who usually picks her up after school. I’m the
one who’s usually here with her when Jennifer’s at work.”
“She’s old enough to be by herself,” Joanne reminded me.
“I know, but we didn’t raise our three as latch key kids,
and we said we’d help Jennifer out so that wasn’t how Libby was raised,
either.”
Joanne chuckled at my concerns. “Roy, Libby is fifteen years old, and a mature fifteen at
that. I think we can trust her to be a
latch key kid for a couple of weeks, don’t you?”
My, “I suppose,” was somewhat reluctant. I didn’t like the
thought of shirking my responsibilities to my daughter and granddaughter.
“Besides,” Joanne said, “at least three nights out of five
she has after-school activities. I can pick her up on my way home from work if
Jennifer’s on-duty. On the days when Jen’s working that Libby gets out of
school at three, she can walk here. She’ll be fine until I get home at
six. She’s always got enough homework
to keep her busy for several hours. And
if we run into transportation problems, I’m sure Chris’ll help out.”
I couldn’t argue that.
Chris is self-employed, and works out of his home, keeping a flexible
schedule. On most weekday afternoons he was chauffeuring his own girls to
activities. Therefore, chauffeuring Libby as well wouldn’t be a big
inconvenience.
“After you know if you’ll be leaving on Wednesday,” Joanne
said, “I’ll talk to Jen and Chris. Between the three of us, we’ll get it all
worked out.”
“Don’t forget about her job.”
Libby started working at the GAP in September. The store
was in a mall a few miles from our neighborhood. Since Libby wasn’t old enough
to drive, I usually took her to work and picked her up on days when Jennifer
was on duty.
“I won’t forget about her job,” Joanne assured. “She’s only
been working on Saturdays since the Christmas season ended.”
“I know, but you work a couple Saturdays a month.”
“Then on those Saturdays, Jenny or Chris will get her to
work, depending on who’s available.
Like I said, we’ll get a schedule ironed out. You make it sound as
though you’ll be gone a year.”
I couldn’t help but smile with chagrin at my wife’s
teasing. “No, not a year. But it could be several weeks.”
“And during those several weeks I’ll keep things running
smoothly on the home front, Mr. DeSoto.
Have you forgotten that I was pretty darn good at that during all those
years you were working twenty-four hour shifts?”
I reached out, took my wife in my arms, kissed her, and
then leaned back against the couch as she rested her head against my shoulder.
“No, I haven’t forgotten. And if Johnny heard me, he’d say
I was wasting my time worrying about things that will fall into place if I’d
just quit trying to direct traffic.”
“Johnny’d say that, huh?”
“He used to when we were partners and he thought I was
trying to fix things that hadn’t gone wrong yet.”
Johnny’s words from years earlier echoed in my mind.
Roy, you worry about stuff that’s never gonna happen. And if it does happen, you can’t do anything
to change it anyway, so you might as well enjoy life, ‘cause if you don’t know
it, Pally, ya’ only go around once as they say.
Joanne’s voice brought me back to the present.
“Would he say that now?”
I thought a moment.
“I dunno. He might.”
“But you don’t think that by going to Eagle Harbor you’re
trying to fix things that haven’t gone wrong yet?”
“No I don’t. Things are already going wrong. Clarice is sick. Johnny’s family’s gone
home. Johnny won’t let Carl call Reah and ask her to come back. I already see what’s gonna happen.”
“What?”
“One of three things. Clarice will end up going against her
doctor’s instructions and return to working for Johnny before she should. If she does that, she could end up paying
for that decision with her life. At her
age, pneumonia’s nothing to fool around with.”
“No,” Joanne agreed, “it’s not.”
“If Clarice does stay home and rest like she’s supposed to,
then Carl’s gonna try and do what he can for Johnny, but with as busy as he is,
I’m afraid that won’t be enough.”
“Which brings us to your third concern.”
“Yeah. That
Johnny’s gonna be spending a lot of time alone, when he’s not physically ready
to yet. And then there’s his speech. It
won’t improve if he doesn’t have someone to talk to.”
Joanne chuckled. “Now there’s something I never thought I’d
see you do.”
“What?”
“Volunteer to spend hours in a room with Johnny listening
to him talk.”
I laughed. “Yeah,
who would have guessed, huh? On some
days I swore I was gonna push him out of the squad if he didn’t shut up.”
“But you never did.”
Joanne’s simple statement reminded me of how deep my
friendship with Johnny ran, and how even on those days when his jabber jaw was
driving me nuts, I’d have still said he was the best friend a man could have.
“No,” I said quietly, “I never did.”
“Based on everything you’ve told me, I think you need to be
with Johnny right now.”
I looked down at my wife while rubbing a hand over her arm.
I knew she was purposely making the decision to go to Alaska easy for me.
“You don’t mind?”
“No, I don’t mind.”