At seven on Sunday morning, Johnny packed the last few
items his home contained. He put the dishes he’d washed and dried after eating
breakfast into a small box and sealed it.
His razor, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, and a comb went into his
shaving kit. He stepped outside and
draped the damp dishtowel and dishcloth over a railing of the deck, just like
he’d done earlier that morning with a bath towel and washcloth after taking his
shower. By the time the moving van was
loaded, these items should be dry enough to stuff in a plastic bag and put in
the back of the Land Rover. If he
forgot them, it was no big deal. He had
two boxes in the U-Haul filled with towels and washcloths.
Johnny returned to the house, picking up the box and shaving
kit. He carried the box to the Rover’s
cargo hold. He packed it neatly amongst
the other things he had back there, then shut the cargo hold door and locked
it. He opened the passenger door and
tossed his shaving kit on the seat. He
had a gym bag sitting on the floor, packed with a couple of changes of
clothing. It was a little more than a
thousand miles from L.A. to Denver. It
would take Johnny two days to get there; maybe as long as three if he ran into
strong winds or heavy rains that would force him to slow down because of the
trailer he’d be pulling. The moving
van, on the other hand, would get there within twenty-four hours of leaving the
ranch since there would be two men traveling in it to share the driving.
Johnny shut the
passenger door. He returned to his house and did a final walk-through. Every closet and cabinet was empty. After
breakfast that morning he’d cleaned out the refrigerator, throwing away half
empty bottles of ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, and grape jelly, and had tossed out
anything else that needed to be kept cold and therefore wouldn’t survive the
drive to Colorado. He’d run the vacuum
cleaner one last time before packing it in the U-Haul. The house was as clean
as he could get it for Bob’s daughter Natalie. By noon, the place would belong
to her family. The washer and dryer
were unhooked, as was the stove. Johnny
left the refrigerator plugged in for the time being. He had two six packs of
Coke in there. He figured by the time
he and the movers had loaded the van they’d want something cold to drink.
The paramedic glanced at the clock. The moving van was due to arrive in forty
minutes. Johnny hesitated a moment with
indecision, then walked to the phone that hung on the wall by the table. He couldn’t leave without telling Dixie
goodbye. She’d heard the rumors about
his departure, and had confronted him about it the previous week when she’d
spotted him in the ER with a trainee he was evaluating. Fortunately, they were summoned on another
call before Dixie had a chance to ask too many questions.
“Don’t leave without coming to see me, Johnny,” the woman
instructed as he’d turned to follow his young partner to the squad. “Please.”
“I won’t,” Johnny promised, and at the time he’d really
meant it. But between a hectic week at
work and packing up his house when not on duty, he’d been busy in the six days
since then. Plus, he knew Dix would try to talk him out of going, which would
be a waste of his time, as well as hers.
Johnny dialed the number that would ring at the ER nurses’
desk. He wasn’t sure if Dixie was
on-duty today, but decided he’d try Rampart first before calling her house so
early on a Sunday morning.
The phone was answered on the third ring.
“Emergency Room. Nurse McCall speaking.”
“Hi, Dix.”
The man could hear the relief in her, “Johnny,” as though
she thought he’d already left without keeping his promise.
“I.…I’m just calling to say goodbye.”
“Johnny, don’t go, please.
Things’ll work out. It’s only
been a little over two months since Chris was injured. Roy…just give him some more time. Don’t walk away from the life you’ve made
for yourself here. Please, come in and
have breakfast with Kel and me. He
wants to talk to you.”
Doctor Brackett was the one person Johnny had worked hard
to avoid since handing in his resignation.
He knew Brackett thought highly of him in his role of paramedic
instructor. Johnny already felt like
he’d let enough people down. He didn’t need the added guilt of feeling like he
was letting Kelly Brackett down, too.
“I can’t, Dix.”
“You can’t, or you won’t?”
“I can’t. I’ve got
a moving van coming at eight.”
“Eight this morning?”
“Uh huh.”
The woman’s shock and surprise was evident by the way her
voice rose an octave.
“You’re leaving today?”
“Yeah. I’ve got the
Rover and a U-Haul trailer stuffed full of boxes. My furniture and appliances are goin’ in the van, then I’m headed
out.”
“Out to where?”
“Just…just headed out.”
“Johnny, please tell me where you’re going.”
Johnny hesitated before answering. So far, only two men at headquarters knew
where he was moving to – the chief of the fire department and the personnel
director, and that was only because he’d had to give them a forwarding address
to record on their paperwork. He’d
asked them to keep that information confidential, and asked that it not be
released to anyone without his permission.
Johnny didn’t want Joanne or the kids to have a way to trace him. And though Roy might be able to gain access
to that information if he was determined to do so, Johnny highly doubted Roy
would ever have that desire.
“I…Dix, it’s just best for everyone if you don’t know.”
“What do you mean by that? Why can’t I know where you’re
going?”
By the woman’s tone, Johnny could tell he’d insulted her
without intending to. “I don’t mean
just you. I mean no one.”
“No one knows where you’re going?”
“No,” Johnny lied, not wanting even Dixie to know that two
people within the fire department had that information.
“Johnny--”
“Like I said, it’s for the best.”
“For who? Just who’s benefiting from this, Johnny? You?
Because if it is you, you don’t sound too happy about it. And if you think your friends are benefiting
from you moving to God knows where, then as a friend of yours let me tell you,
I’m not happy about it. At least give
me a telephone number where I can reach you.”
“Don’t have a phone hooked up yet.”
“Then how about an address where I can write you?”
“I…it’s not permanent.
It’s just temporary.”
“Where you’re going, you mean? Or where you’ll be living
when you get there?”
“Where I’ll be living.”
“Johnny…Johnny, please.
Don’t go.”
“It’s too late, Dix. My place is sold. According to my contract with the buyers, I
gotta be out by midnight.”
“I wish…”
Dixie let her sentence trail off. Johnny didn’t need her to finish it to know she’d say the same
thing Joanne had said three weeks ago, and Jennifer had said yesterday. She wished things had turned out
differently. Well, so did he, but
things had turned out the way God, or fate, or just plain rotten luck, had
caused them to, and now it was time for everyone to accept that.
Johnny heard the air brakes on a semi-truck “whoosh”
outside his house, and then Joe started to bark. The movers were thirty minutes early, but that wasn’t a bad
thing. The sooner they got the van
loaded, the sooner the hard parts of this day would be over.
“Dix, I’m sorry, but I gotta go. The moving van just got
here.”
“Keep in touch,” Dixie rushed to say. “Promise me you’ll keep in touch. Call me, or write to me, or surprise me by
showing up some day when I least expect it.
Please, Johnny. Please don’t leave without promising to keep in touch.”
“I promise,” Johnny said, though he didn’t intend to keep
this promise to Dixie, any more than he intended to honor the one about keeping
in touch that he’d made to Jennifer.
The thought of hurting the nurse he’d known since first joining the fire
department back in 1968 as a rescue man wasn’t easy for Johnny. As a matter of fact, it just about killed
him, but again, he couldn’t risk Chris or Jennifer someday finding a way to
track him down. He’d meant every word
he’d said when he’d told Joanne that he didn’t want to come between Roy and his
family.
Johnny heard someone pounding on his front door.
“Dix, I gotta go. The movers are at the door.”
“You’ll keep in touch, right?”
“Right.”
“Take…Johnny, take care of yourself. Wherever it is you’re
going, I won’t be there to patch you up every time you take a tumble down a
flight of stairs or step on a rattlesnake.”
Johnny smiled. “I
know. Don’t worry. I’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure?”
The paramedic knew Dixie’s question encompassed a lot more
than his physical well being. She meant
his emotional well being, too, along with his future happiness.
“I’m sure,” Johnny said with far more conviction than he
was feeling. “Take care, Dix. And…and
thanks for everything. For being a
bossy big sister when I needed you to be.
For being a concerned mom when I needed you to be. And for being a
helluva a friend through thick and thin.”
Johnny barely made out Dixie’s muffled “Goodbye,
Johnny.” He could tell she was either
crying, or trying hard not to. He said
a quick, “Bye, Dix,” and hung up the phone before the sadness of leaving his
home and friends could overwhelm him.
The paramedic hurried to the door to let the moving men in,
glad for the distractions the rest of this day would bring.
The moving van and the Land Rover were ready to pull out of
Johnny’s driveway at noon. Bob and his
wife were there, as were Natalie, her husband, Rich, and their eight-year-old
daughter, Alison. Natalie’s family was
anxious to begin moving in, and Johnny now had no reason not to let them. He handed keys to the woman and mustered the
best smile he could.
“She’s all yours.”
Johnny shook hands with Natalie and Rich, then told Alison
to take good care of the horses and cats.
“I will,” the excited little girl promised with a big
gap-toothed grin.
The paramedic moved on to Bob and Doris.
“Thanks for bein’ such great neighbors.”
“Same to you, Johnny,” Doris said. “We’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you guys, too.”
As the woman walked away to begin helping her daughter and
son-in-law carry boxes into the house, Johnny shook hands with Bob.
“Thanks for taking Joe.
It makes it easier on me, knowing he’ll have a good home.”
“ ‘Welcome. We’re glad to do it. Doris has been after me to get another dog ever since ol’ Rusty
died last spring. She doesn’t like living out here ‘in the middle of nowhere’
as she says, without a dog. Don’t know
why I kept puttin’ it off. Guess God
knew this big guy here was gonna need a home soon.”
Johnny looked down at Joe, who was sitting by his side.
“Guess so.”
The paramedic bent to say goodbye to his dog. The parting was harder on Johnny that it was
on Joe. The Malamute was so used to Bob
Emery doing chores when Johnny was on-duty, or just stopping by to shoot the
bull with Johnny on any given day, that he didn’t seem to sense this parting
with his master was permanent.
When Johnny finished hugging Joe and telling him to be a
good boy for Bob, he stood.
“Write and let us know how things are going for you,
Johnny. Or give us a call when you get
settled.”
Johnny nodded, though he knew he wouldn’t keep in contact
with the man, for the same reason he had no intention of keeping in contact
with anyone he’d known in California.
Like most other people, Bob didn’t know where Johnny was
moving. Unlike those other people,
however, he hadn’t pressured Johnny about that fact. He’d read the accounts of
the shooting in the paper, and followed the story on the news. He was well aware Roy DeSoto had been
Johnny’s best friend, and also knew Roy hadn’t been around since the night his
son was shot. Bob didn’t have to be a
genius to know the friendship had ended, and that Johnny was having a difficult
time dealing with that.
Johnny said a final goodbye to Bob, then climbed in the
Land Rover as the moving van pulled onto the highway. It would be parked at its company’s headquarters in Denver until
Johnny arrived to identify which items should be taken to his apartment, versus
which items were going into storage.
As the paramedic looked over the ranch for the last time,
he found it hard to believe that a week from now he’d be living in a new city,
getting settled into a new apartment, and getting ready to start a new
job. It was difficult enough to think
of all he was leaving behind. What made
it worse, was realizing he had nothing to look forward to when he arrived in
Denver. No friends or family to welcome
him. A tiny apartment he’d didn’t
particularly want to live in. And
nothing familiar about the fire department he’d be working for, like the L.A.
County department was familiar to him as a seventeen-year veteran - as one of
the “old guys,” as the rookies often referred to Johnny and other men who had
tenure similar in length to his. That
department and the men who worked for her had been Johnny’s second home and
family. He could only hope that, with
time, he’d come to feel the same way about the Denver Fire Department and his
co-workers there.
The last thing John Gage had wanted to do at this stage in
his life was start over, but as he put the Land Rover in gear, gave Bob a final
wave goodbye, and headed for the highway, that’s exactly what he was
facing. Soon Los Angeles was behind
Johnny as he traveled northeast on I-15.
The only thing that lay ahead was a strange city, and a lot of
uncertainties to go with it.
Chapter 24
I followed two pickup trucks, a Nissan Pathfinder, and a
Chevy Suburban into the parking lot of Eagle Harbor Elementary School. I didn’t know what door Trevor would be
coming out of, but I took an educated guess that the vehicles ahead of me
contained parents arriving to retrieve boys who were on the basketball team
with Trev.
The trucks and SUVs pulled up to the sidewalk by the main
entrance doors. I got in line behind
them. More vehicles began to fill the small parking lot to my left that was lit
by overhead floodlights. Exhaust fumes
billowed into the cold night air, swirling upward and mixing with the
snow. Boys began spilling out of the
double doors in pairs and trios. Like
all boys between the ages of twelve and fourteen, the kids varied in size from
tall and burly, to short and scrawny. I
hadn’t seen Trevor since the previous July, but assumed that other than being a
bit taller, he’d still be the skinny kid with stick-figure arms and knobby
shoulders and knees, who looks just like pictures I’ve seen of his father at
thirteen.
I couldn’t see the knobby shoulders and knees because of
Trevor’s thick winter coat and his blue jeans, but I didn’t have any trouble
recognizing him when he walked out into the storm minus a hat, and with hair
still wet from a shower. He carried a gym bag in his left hand, and had a
backpack full of books slung over his right shoulder. He was with his friends who live down the road from Johnny, Dylan
and Dalton Teirman, along with another boy I didn’t recognize. I pressed the switch on my door panel that
lowered the passenger side window. I thought I might have to shout Trevor’s
name so he realized he had a ride waiting for him.
Trevor looked around but didn’t spot the Land Rover in line
behind the other vehicles. I heard Dylan ask him, “Need a ride home, Trev?”
“Nah.” Trev looked
around again. He craned his neck and stood on the ends of his toes so he could
see into the parking lot. “Someone
should be here to get me.”
“Hope it’s not supposed to be Carl,” the boy whose name I
didn’t know teased. “If it is, he probably forgot about you again.”
Trevor was a good sport and laughed, but hurt flickered
briefly across his face, as though it was painful to be reminded that the only
reason Carl had forgotten him in the first place, was because Trevor’s own
father now had disabilities that prevented him from driving.
“Very funny, Jake,” Trevor tossed back.
“Come on, Trev,” Dalton urged. Or maybe it was Dylan. The Teirman boys are identical twins. “Come
with us. My mom’ll drop you off at your
place.”
“No. I’m supposed to wait here.”
“But who’s picking you up?”
“I don’t know. Carl I guess, but I’m not sure.”
As Trevor looked around again, I gave the Land Rover’s horn
three short beeps and leaned my upper body toward the open passenger window.
“Trevor! Hey, Trevor, over here!”
The boy looked down the sidewalk to his left, grinning when
he spotted the familiar vehicle. I was
sure he hadn’t recognized my voice. The
way his smile lit up his eyes told me that he thought Johnny was driving.
“Gotta go, guys!” He called to his friends as he ran toward
Rover. “My pops is here!”
Trevor threw open the passenger side door. For just a second the grin remained in
place, then slowly faded as disappointment set in, then was renewed to some
degree as it registered with Trevor that I was seated behind the wheel.
“Uncle Roy!”
“Hey there, young Mr. Gage. How about climbing in and
shutting that door. I’m not used to
this kind of weather.”
Trevor tossed his backpack and gym bag on the floor, then
scrambled onto the passenger seat. He
shut the door and secured his seatbelt while I hit the switch so the window
would slide up.
The teenager turned
around, looking into the back passenger seat.
“Where’s my pops?”
“He stayed home.”
“Oh.”
If Johnny could have heard the letdown in just that one
word, he’d have realized how much his presence would have meant to Trevor. Granted, we’d be back to Johnny’s house
within fifteen minutes, but still, I got the impression if Johnny had been in
the vehicle with me, it would have made Trevor’s day.
I hoped what I was offering the boy didn’t sound like the
excuse it was.
“It’s hard for him to get around in the snow because of his
cane, you know.”
“I know.”
“He’ll be waiting for you when we get back to your house.”
“Yeah,” Trevor acknowledged, though with little
enthusiasm. He didn’t allow himself to
stay down too long, though. By the time
I was slowly following other vehicles toward the main exit, he’d perked up and
seemed excited by my presence.
“What’re you doing here?”
I smiled and teased, “Isn’t it obvious? I came to give you a ride home.”
“If that’s the only reason you’re here, you sure came a
heck of a long way.”
I laughed. In so
many ways, Trevor reminds me of his father.
“Well, it’s not the only reason,” I admitted. “I came to
give your father a hand while Clarice is laid up.”
Trevor’s eyes shined at the prospect of me staying for an
extended period of time.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Cool. I’m glad
you’re here. And I bet Papa was really glad to see you.”
Apparently Trevor was unaware that I’d offered to come, and
that Johnny had told Carl he didn’t want me to.
“Uh…Trev…look, I hate to burst your bubble, but I think you
should know your father isn’t happy I’m here.
He’s not happy at all.”
Trevor’s smile changed to a scowl. He turned and looked out
the passenger window. “He’s not happy
about anything these days.”
I came to a stop, looked left, right, and then left again
before turning onto the street that ran in front of the school. I didn’t immediately reply to Trevor. Instead I said, “I made Sloppy Joes, but I
couldn’t find any hamburger buns. Do we
need to stop at a store and buy some?”
“No. There’s a package in the cabinet above the
refrigerator.”
“Oh. Okay. That was the one place I didn’t look.”
“I don’t know why Clarice keeps ‘em there. She always has
to climb on a chair to get ‘em, but that’s where she puts ‘em.”
“I learned a long time ago never to question how a woman
arranges her kitchen.”
That got a smile out of the teen. “Yeah, me too. Even with Clarice staying at home sick right
now, I won’t move stuff around, even though I’ve got some good ideas on how
things could be rearranged.”
“You’re a smart man then.”
I turned the heater up another notch while glancing at
Trevor’s wet head. “Where’s your hat?”
Because Trevor is Johnny’s son, I could have predicted the
answer.
“In my gym bag, I think. Or maybe my backpack. Or I might
have left it in my locker.” The boy
searched his coat pockets. “Mmm…I’m not
really sure.”
“You should have it on.
Especially with wet hair in weather like this.”
“I hate wearin’ hats.”
“So does your father.”
Trevor looked surprised I knew something about his father
that he apparently didn’t. “He does?”
“Yep.”
“Oh. Guess I never
noticed before, but now that you mention it, I never see ‘im put one on unless
it’s really cold and he’s gonna be outside for a long time.”
“When we worked together, Captain Stanley was always on
Johnny’s case about taking off his helmet.”
“Did he ever get written up for it?”
“You sound like a boy who’s spent a lot of time in a fire
station.”
“Yeah, suppose I do.”
Trevor smiled. “But I don’t think Papa’s ever really written anyone
up. He only threatens too now and then
when someone ticks him off, or when he’s in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like
putting up with a “buncha’ stupid shenanigans” as he says.”
“He learned well from Hank then.”
“Is that the kind of boss Captain Stanley was?”
“Easy going, you mean?”
“Yeah. Mostly easy
going, didn’t get upset when you guys had some fun at work – you know, like
pulling pranks on one another and stuff like that, and his bark was worse than
his bite.”
“That’s the way he was,” I confirmed.
“My pops is like that too.
Everyone likes him.”
“I’m sure they do.”
“I was at the station after school yesterday. Everybody said they miss Papa a lot. I told
him that after Carl dropped me off at home, but he just turned away and
wouldn’t say anything.”
The last of Eagle Harbor’s streetlights faded from the
rearview mirror as I drove out of town and headed for the rural road Johnny
lives on.
“It’s…things are hard for your father right now,
Trevor. You said before that he’s not
happy any more. Well, it’s hard for him
to be happy because of everything that’s changed. Because of everything he
can’t do.”
“I know. I just…I
just wish he’d try harder, Uncle Roy.
He’s got exercises he’s supposed to be doing, and the doctor said it
would be good for him to play games with me like Monopoly, and Trivial Pursuit,
and Scrabble, but he won’t. He needs to
at least try to get better.”
“A person has to want to get better before he can try.”
“What’s that mean? That Papa doesn’t wanna walk normally
again, and talk normally, and remember stuff, and--”
“I think he wants to, Trev. But I also think that right now
he’s feeling overwhelmed by what’s happened to him, and depressed by how it’s
changed him physically. He just needs
someone to--”
“Give him a good swift kick in the butt.”
I laughed again. “That’s not exactly what I was gonna say.”
Trevor grinned at me. “Okay. Then how were you gonna
say it?”
“That he needs someone to help him get started.”
“Means the same thing I said.”
“I guess it does,” I agreed.
“So that’s why you’re here? To help Papa get started?”
I heard the hope in the boy’s voice. I didn’t want to make him promises I might
not be able to keep, so chose my words carefully.
“If your father will let me help him get started, then yes,
that’s part of the reason why I’m here.”
“And the other part?”
“The other part is just what I told you earlier. I’m here
to help you and Johnny in any way I can until Clarice is able to return to
work.”
Trevor watched the snow smack the windshield for a moment,
then laid a hand on my arm and squeezed.
“Thanks, Uncle Roy. Thanks a lot. From me and Papa both.”
I glanced at Trev and smiled. I could see the relief on his face, and realized he’d been
worried about leaving Johnny alone all day while he was at school, and worried
about just how he could give Johnny the help he needed. I suspected Trevor was
glad there would be another adult in the house now to carry this load. Suddenly
I knew that, despite the lack of a warm welcome on Johnny’s part, I’d done the
right thing. Although Trevor wasn’t a
child any longer, he also wasn’t a man yet.
He needed the assurance that someone was going to get him to and from
school, was going to have a meal waiting for him when he got home at night, and
that while he was away, someone was going to be with Johnny.
“You’re welcome.”
“But what about your job?
You probably can’t stay long, huh?”
“I can stay as long as eight weeks.”
“Eight weeks!
That’s two months.”
“Yep, it sure is.”
“You’re really gonna stay with us for two months?”
“I don’t know if I’ll be here that long or not. A lot
depends on when Clarice is back on her feet.
But, if I have to stay for two months, then yes, I will.”
“Aunt Joanne’s okay with this?”
“Why wouldn’t she be?”
“Well…it seems like a long time for you to be gone just
‘cause of me and my pops.”
“Trevor, I can assure you that Aunt Joanne thinks you and
your pops are well worth my time, as well as any inconvenience my absence might
cause her. Your father has been a good friend to us for more years than I keep
track of any more. As I told him earlier today, help is a given between
friends.”
Trev mulled my words over.
When he nodded and said, “Okay,” I could tell he’d accepted what I’d
said as the truth, and that he’d cast aside any guilt he felt over the thought
of me traveling so far and then staying for several weeks in order to help him
and his father.
For the rest of the ride home I tried to get Trevor’s mind
off his concerns for Johnny by asking him about school and his job with
Gus. Because Trevor inherited his
chatterbox ability from his father, I was able to concentrate on my driving
while he rattled on about school, his job, and the hockey league he plays for.
I clicked the turn
signal on well ahead of Johnny’s place, even though I couldn’t see any
headlights behind me. The Land Rover
bucked snow as I navigated the long driveway.
Trevor leaned forward and peered out at the storm. “If it keeps snowing all night, we won’t be
able to get to the road in the morning.”
“If it snows that heavily, won’t school be canceled?”
Trevor chuckled.
“Uncle Roy, this is Alaska.
School is never canceled ‘cause of snow. A few years ago we got so much snow that
Eagle Harbor was buried in the stuff for a whole month, but school didn’t
close. Most of us got there on snowmobiles.”
I nodded. Johnny
had a couple of snowmobiles stored in the back of his barn that he and Trevor
used as recreational vehicles during the winter. Apparently, Johnny made use of them to get himself back and forth
to work, and to get Trevor to school, when even four wheel drive vehicles had
problems making it through the snow.
“Well,” I said in response to Trevor’s comment about school
not being canceled, “I guess we’ll have to run your father’s tractor in the
morning. Do you know how to operate
it?”
“No. Pops promised to teach me this winter, but this is the
first big snowstorm that we’ve had.”
“I imagine you and I can figure out how to use it if we
have to, don’t cha’ think?”
“Well…maybe. I’ve
ridden on it with Papa a lot.”
“And I’ve operated a few pieces of equipment similar to
tractors during my years with the fire department, so I bet between the two of
us we can get it running and get the driveway plowed before I have to take you
to school.”
“Good,” the boy said, and once again I could plainly hear
relief in his voice over the thought of an adult being in charge of things.
“I’ve got a basketball game after school tomorrow. If I’m not in school during
the day, then my coach won’t let me play. Not even if we can get outta the
driveway by afternoon and you get me to school before it lets out at three.”
“Sounds like your coach has some pretty strict rules.”
“Yeah, he does. I think he’s too strict, but Papa
likes him for some dumb reason.”
I smiled slightly.
At times like those I still found it hard to believe that my once
impulsive, sometimes immature ladies’ man come-what-may partner, had turned out
to be the type of father who keeps close tabs on his son, and on those who have
influence over the boy.
As we got closer to the house, Trevor strained to see
through the great room windows
“When I left, your papa was in his office.”
Trev looked over his shoulder as we passed by the back of
his home.
“Looks like he’s still sittin’ there at his desk,” Trevor
said. “What was he doing?”
Trevor’s tone was hopeful, as though he wanted me to tell
him Johnny was doing fire department paperwork, or doing something on his computer.
“I’m not sure.
Thinking, I guess.”
“About what?”
“Don’t know. A man
usually keeps his thoughts private.”
“He does that a lot lately.”
“Keeps his thoughts to himself, you mean?”
“Yeah, that too. But what I meant was, he sits alone by
himself and just does…nothing. Uncle
Roy, do you think Papa is sittin’ there wishing things were like they were
before he got sick?”
“He might be, Trev.
I’m not sure. Like I said, a man
usually keeps his thoughts private.”
“I wish Papa wouldn’t.”
“No?” I questioned, while hitting the button on the garage
door opener. “Why not?”
“ ‘Cause you and I would have better ideas about how we
could help him if he’d just tell us what’s bothering him.”
“You’re probably right about that.”
“Then how can we get him to talk to us?”
“I don’t know,” I said. I was kidding when I said, “Maybe
by doing to him what he used to do to me.”
“What was that?”
“Just kept talking to me until I finally had no choice but
to talk back. It was the only way I
could finally get him to shut up.”
“Hey! I bet that
would work.”
Thinking of the silent somber man I’d left in the house, a
man so different from the Johnny Gage I’d known for over thirty years, caused
me to say, “I’m not sure about that, Trev. Don’t get your hopes up. I was only kidding.”
“Yeah, but if we just keep buggin’ him and buggin’ him and
buggin’ him, he’ll have to talk eventually.”
“Let me think on it.”
I eased the Land Rover into the garage.
“Maybe I’ll come up with some other ideas as to how we can help your
papa after I’ve been here a few days.”
“Okay. But I still
bet you that buggin’ him until he finally talks will work.”
“Or it’ll get me hit over the head with a fire axe,” I
mumbled as Trevor got out of the vehicle and headed for the side door that led
into the barn.
I hit the button on the remote door opener and watched in
the rear view mirror as the garage door shut.
I then climbed out of the Land Rover and followed Trevor.
Nicolai and Tasha were all over the boy. I grabbed a hold of Trev’s right arm to keep
the dogs from knocking him down. When
they’d had their fill of licking his face, Trevor opened the barn door.
“Go on, Nic and Tash!
Go for a run!”
The energetic dogs didn’t need to be told twice. They shot
out of the barn and tore to the left, disappearing in the National Forest
behind Johnny’s home.
Trevor frowned as he pulled the door shut.
“What’s wrong?”
“Were the dogs locked in the barn when you got here?”
“They must have been.
They didn’t come to greet me, and I heard them barking in here when I
left to get you from school.”
“I asked Papa to let them run sometime today.”
I offered the only excuse I could think of. “Maybe he didn’t come out because of the
snow. It’d be dangerous for him if he
fell.”
“But it didn’t start snowing until after lunch.”
No more ready-made excuses for Johnny came to my mind after
Trevor said that. The boy started
tending to the horses. The frown never
left his face, as though he was upset, worried, and disappointed because his
father didn’t attempt to do even a chore so simple as letting the dogs out of
the barn for a few hours.
“What can I do to help?”
Trevor pointed to a metal cabinet. “You can feed the cats if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind.”
Four plastic dishes and a deep stainless steel bowl sat in
front of one wall of the barn. I found
a bag of dry cat food in the cabinet Trevor had directed me to. I poured food into all the dishes, then
picked up the bowl and walked to the sink.
I rinsed it out, then filled it with fresh water. By the time I’d turned around a dozen cats
of all shapes, sizes, and colors were gathered around the dishes. Crunching
filled the air as their sharp teeth ground the food into more manageable bites.
I set the water dish down, then stayed out of Trevor’s
way. I watched as he quickly cleaned
the three horse stalls with a large shovel.
He carried the manure to a wheelbarrow at the far end of the barn and
deposited in there.
“I’ll have to take this out back and empty it when the
storm quits.”
“Maybe you can do that before school in the morning.”
“Yeah, probably.”
While Trevor fed and watered the horses, I noticed three
more dishes setting side by side.
“Are these for the dogs?”
The boy glanced over his shoulder.
“Uh huh.”
“Want me to feed them, too?”
“Sure.” Trevor
pointed to a blue plastic bin. “Their
food’s in that bin.”
I opened the lid of the bin and saw a large plastic scoop
setting on top of dry dog food.
“How much do you give them?”
“A scoop each.”
I did as Trevor
instructed, then walked the dogs’ water bowl to the sink, emptied what little
water was left in it, and filled it with fresh water.
Between the two of us, we had the chores done in twenty
minutes. Trevor opened the barn door,
stepped out into the storm, and called for his dogs. I didn’t think they’d hear him over the wind, but they must have
been used to this nightly routine, because less than a minute later, Tasha and
Nicolai flew into the barn, their thick coats covered with snow.
I laughed as the cats scattered in twelve different
directions. The dogs gave chase, but
when all of the cats managed to get out of their reach by clamoring for the
rafters and hay mow, they turned around and ran for their dishes. Trevor secured the door, left the light on
for the animals, and said, “Come on. We’ll go out through the garage.”
We walked back through the door that led into the
garage. I shut it behind us while
Trevor got his gym bag and backpack from the Land Rover. We then crossed in front of the Land Rover,
exiting the garage through the service door. We drew our shoulders up to our
ears and bent our faces toward the ground as we trudged through the storm. Trevor plowed through the deep snow at a
loping run, but I don’t have that kind of stamina any longer. Just watching him work so hard wore me
out. As it was, the snow prevented him
from moving quickly. Throughout the entire trip to the house he was never more
than a few steps ahead of me. He fell once and got up laughing, which made me
laugh too. I lobbed a snowball at him
that landed dead center between his shoulder blades. He turned and threw one back at me that glanced off my left
shoulder. I was scooping up another
handful of snow when I caught sight of Johnny watching us through the glass
pane in the back door. For some reason,
his expression said I was doing something wrong, but for the life of me I
couldn’t figure out what it was. Having
a little fun with Trevor in the snow was hardly a crime. Or at least not in my book it wasn’t.
By the time we entered the laundry room Johnny was gone. I
was sure Trevor hadn’t seen his father watching us, because he didn’t say
anything about it.
It felt good to be in the warm house. I hoped Johnny had a fire going in the great
room fireplace, but I wasn’t counting on it.
Trevor and I took off our boots, hats, gloves, and coats. I was glad I’d made supper before I went to
pick him up. My stomach growled as we entered the kitchen and the tangy smell
of barbeque sauce washed over us.
Johnny was seated at his place at the table. He hadn’t made an effort to take the pans
out of the oven, or to get the hamburger buns out of the cabinet. For the first time since I’d arrived,
however, I saw a slight smile light his face when Trevor bent and kissed his
cheek.
“Hi, Papa.”