OVER THE HILL

 

By: Kenda

 

 

 

     Music filling his bedroom woke A.J. Simon at six o’clock Thursday morning. He opened a sleepy eye and glanced at the digital alarm-clock radio on the nightstand next to his bed.

 

     "It's morning already?" A.J. groaned as he rolled onto his back. He opened both eyes long enough to peer at the blinds that covered the French doors, and was able to discern that the sun was up.

 

     The blond man yawned and stretched. He debated whether to get up and workout, as he had planned to do before he had to leave for the office at eight-thirty. Doing some type of workout before the start of his day at Simon and Simon Investigations had long ago become a habit with A.J. Some days he lifted weights; some days he boxed; some days he ran a few miles. Regardless, he always chose some form of exercise and rarely varied from this routine. The erratic hours he and Rick often kept made early morning exercise the easiest to commit to.

 

     Those often erratic hours P.I.'s keep was the reason A.J. was having a problem getting out of bed this morning. He and Rick had four cases underway at the present time. A.J. had drawn the late night stakeout duty of one of those cases for the last two evenings. Tuesday night, or rather early Wednesday morning, he hadn't gotten to bed until one-thirty. Wednesday night had been a little better. It had been eleven fifty-five p.m., according to the bedside clock, when A.J. had finally been able to call it a day. Fortunately for the business checking account, but unfortunately for A.J.'s sleep schedule, he hadn't had the luxury of sleeping a few extra hours either one of the mornings after his long working days. He'd had to meet with a client at nine o'clock on Wednesday morning at her downtown office, and this morning he had to meet with a client in the Simon and Simon office at nine.

 

Things weren't any better for A.J.’s brother, either. Rick had taken the stakeout duty both Sunday and Monday nights, and then each of the following mornings he had to report for ‘work’ by eight at a San Diego factory. The brothers had been hired to investigate on-going thefts at the factory that could only be occurring at the hands of its own employees. Rick had been on the job for almost three weeks now, but at least that one was coming to a close.  When A.J. entered his house at eleven-thirty the previous evening there had been a message on the answering machine from his older brother.

 

"Yeah, A.J., it's me. It looks like I caught our thief today, so I should be in the office around ten. I'm goin' over to the factory at eight in the morning to wrap things up with Mr. Pritchard and some head honcho we didn't meet. I’ll get our check then, too. I'll fill ya’ in on everything when I see you. Bye."

 

     A.J. hit the snooze alarm and lay in bed with the intention of dozing for a few minutes. He kept telling himself he should get up, but the bed felt too good to do much more than enjoy the early morning sunlight from a reclining position. The detective mentally reviewed the last three weeks as he yawned again. 

 

It's no wonder Rick and I have been so tired lately. These hours we've been keeping will kill both of us yet. Well...at least they'll kill me - maybe not Rick, the man who can survive on four hours of sleep a night, but me for sure.

 

     A.J. couldn't help but smile as he thought of all his big brother would have to say if he could see A.J. now, dozing in bed with the alarm on snooze, totally oblivious to the minutes as they ticked by. Rick didn't need to be present for A.J. to be able to hear him gloat.

 

     "I told ya' forty would catch up to ya', kid. You're not as young as you used to be, you know. You gotta slow down a little, take it easy, get used to the fact you can't do all the things you could when you were in your thirties. Yep, you're really over the hill now. Man, it's hard to believe my little brother is forty."

 

     Rick didn't have to be present for A.J. to know he'd say all these things, simply because the elder Simon had been saying them repeatedly over the past month.

 

     A.J. had turned forty on Monday, and Rick had taken great delight in reminding his younger brother of the upcoming event almost daily since the end of June. It amazed A.J. how his brother ignored the fact that he had five years on A.J., so therefore if A.J. was ‘over the hill,’ Rick must be, “Really, really, over the hill,” as A.J. had told his older brother more than once in the past few weeks.

 

     Rick would use his own brand of twisted logic then.  "Yeah, but I don't show my age the way you do. Lately, a lotta people have been mistaking you for my older brother. I think it's my hat, A.J. I think it makes me look younger. You should get one, too. As a matter of fact, that's what I’m gonna get ya’ for your birthday - a hat just like mine."

 

     At those times A.J. would just roll his eyes at his sibling and say, "Don't do me any favors, Rick."

 

     Aside from having to endure ‘over the hill’ comments issued from Rick during the month of July, A.J. had also been living in fear of what his fortieth birthday on the 29^th of that month might bring. There had been too many comments throughout the month like, "Carlos can sure come up with some great party ideas, you know, A.J." And, "There's just something about several women with handcuffs that can make a party fun. Can make a guy feel young again, know what I mean?" Or, "I've really never seen a naked girl jump out of a cake, have you?" Add to those comments the times Rick would laugh for no reason while looking at his brother and saying, "You're gonna love it. You're just gonna love it!"

 

     After two weeks of this, A.J. had finally learned none of the hollering, pleading, or threatening he had been throwing his older brother's way, was going to make Rick spill his guts, or shut up. A.J. reached the conclusion that the only way to beat Rick at his game was to ignore him, and act like none of the comments bothered him in the slightest. So, that's exactly what A.J. had done in the two weeks preceding his birthday. That tactic didn't have much of an effect on Rick, however.  The older brother continued tormenting the younger, not seeming to care if A.J. reacted to him or not. Other than the fact that A.J. felt he was keeping a hold on his dignity, his little charade didn’t help his peace of mind. The blond man hadn’t been able to fathom all the things Rick might have up his sleeve. Knowing his brother, A.J. was sure the things Rick had already mentioned were only the tip of the iceberg.

 

     At those times, A.J. would think back to the surprise fortieth birthday party he and his mother had thrown for Rick five years earlier, and know he had brought this on himself. Even though the detective had been aware Rick would find the taste of revenge sweet, A.J.'s own fortieth birthday seemed like a long time in the future. If he'd have known how fast those five years would fly by, A.J. would have settled for taking his brother out for a steak dinner and calling it a night by eight o'clock. But, did A.J. do that? No, of course not. It was a well-known fact that Rick Simon loved a good party, and A.J. was bound and determined that Rick was going to be given the best party a man could have.

 

     Cecilia and A.J. had put together an informal, festive bash that had Rick Simon written all over it. The large pavilion at a park near Cecilia's house had been rented for the occasion, and Cecilia arranged for a picnic supper to be catered in. A.J. had taken care of the music for the evening by hiring a man the Simon brothers had grown up with, who now made a part-time income as a D.J. That was one of the easiest duties on A.J.'s list. All he had to do was call up their old friend, set the date and time, and then say, "This one will be easy for you, Al. You know Rick's likes. Nothing but music from the 50's and 60's. Oh, yeah, and maybe you'd better throw in some country music, too, just to make the birthday boy really happy."

 

     Cecilia had come up with the idea of making a picture collage of Rick throughout the various stages of his life, starting with infancy and leading up to the present.  That collage, along with the captions Cecilia had posted beneath the pictures, was on display when the party began.

 

     While Cecilia worked on that, A.J. put together a Memory Book for his brother.  The blond man sent a form letter to Rick’s friends, asking them to return to him a memory of some event they had shared with Rick.  A.J. had spent a lot of time on this aspect of Rick's party, as some of the people he wrote to were friends of Rick's from back in grade school, whom Rick hadn't seen in twenty-five years or longer. Some of the others included guys Rick had served with in Vietnam, whom A.J. had never personally met. Therefore, A.J. had to use his detective skills to obtain addresses of men Rick hadn’t had contact with since coming leaving the Marine Corps. But, in the end, A.J. knew all his labor was worth it. He received responses to almost every letter he sent, and true to Rick's character, most of those responses contained the telling of some hilarious event or mischievous prank in which Rick took part.

 

     Cecilia had organized all the letters into a leather binder, and that, too, was displayed the night of Rick's birthday. There was never a doubt in A.J.'s mind that his brother didn’t appreciate, and treasure, that Memory Book. Rick had studied the book for weeks afterwards, laughing and smiling over the many events mentioned that he hadn't thought of in years.

 

     Even now, five years later, A.J. knew Rick wouldn’t extract revenge for the party, the pictures, or the memory book. Rick had always loved being the center of attention, and was touched by the time and effort his mother and brother had put into his fortieth birthday celebration.

 

     Thus, A.J. was positive there would be no payback demanded of him for the party itself. The payback, if there was to be one, was going to be for the little game of, ‘Rick Simon, This Is Your Life!’ that had been played at the party, and one other minor incident that involved Rick spending most of the day of his birthday sitting alone in a San Diego jail cell.

 

     A.J. had been thinking for weeks of what could possibly be done for the entertainment of the guests in between the end of dinner and the start of dancing. He wanted to do something special, something funny, with his brother being the brunt of the joke, but didn't know what that should be. Finally, A.J. thought of the old television show, This Is Your Life, and knew he'd hit upon the perfect idea.

 

     The detective enlisted the help of people ranging from his mother, to several cousins, to Carlos and other old friends, to Downtown Brown. Just about anyone A.J. knew, whom he classified as a ‘ham,’ was cast in a role as a person from Rick's past. Some, like Carlos, played themselves. Others, like an older lady who was a close friend of the family, played the parts of people like Rick's high school English teacher, Mrs. Bartlett. A.J. himself acted as the M.C.

 

     As long as he lived, A.J. didn't think he'd ever forget the look of puzzlement on Rick's face as he was called up front by his brother and made to sit on a chair on the pavilion’s stage.    

 

A.J. had grinned at his brother that night as he announced, "That's right, folks. Rick's forty years old today! That's forty years of a lot of living! So much living, in fact, that we're sure Rick can't quite remember it all. So, to help Rick out, we've managed to gather many people from his past who have come here tonight, willing to share some of the highlights of Rick's life with him. Yes, Richard Simon, this is your life!"

 

     Rick let out a small groan at all he could imagine he was in for. An hour passed in which family members and friends took great joy in reminding Rick of incidents from his youth and young adult years.  By the time, This Is Your Life, drew to a close, the party was successfully underway.

 

     As A.J. threw back the covers and climbed out of bed, he recalled the event that really demanded payback – the fact that Rick had spent his fortieth birthday in jail.

 

     Rick's birthday had, conveniently enough, fallen on a Saturday, which made choosing the party date easy. What proved to be difficult, was keeping Rick occupied that day, and keeping him away from all the people involved in decorating the pavilion.

 

     Up until the Friday before Rick's party, A.J. had it all worked out. Rick thought he would be celebrating his birthday at his brother's house with a small party in the early evening that would involve a cookout including a few close friends and Cecilia.

 

     Rick threw a wrench in A.J.'s plans of having Saturday free to get everything done when he announced on Friday morning, "Hey, A.J., let's go fishin' tomorrow. Just you and me."

 

     "I...I can't, Rick,” A.J. had said that day in the Simon and Simon office.  “I've...I’ve already made plans to play tennis with Dean in the morning, and in the afternoon I need to grocery shop for your birthday cookout tomorrow night."

 

     "Oh. Okay,” came the disappointed response. "Maybe I'll call Carlos and see if he wants to go."

 

     At this point, A.J. was beginning to panic. He knew Carlos couldn't go fishing either, as his help had been enlisted for Saturday as well. 

 

Trying to stall, A.J. asked, "Why the sudden urge to go fishing?"

 

     "I don't know. I just wanna do something special. It is my birthday tomorrow, you know."

 

"Yes, Rick, I know. You've reminded me of that fact about a hundred times this week. I’m cooking for your birthday tomorrow night, and having twelve guests over. Isn't that enough of a celebration?”

 

     Rick had turned away then, reaching for the phone. "Yeah, yeah, that's fine, A.J. I'd just like to do something during the day, too. I think I'll give Carlos a call."

 

     A.J. listened to the one-sided conversation Rick had with Carlos, and then with three other friends. It was apparent to the blond man that every person Rick telephoned was quickly coming up with a hasty excuse as to why he couldn't go fishing the next day. Of course, A.J. knew why. Every person Rick had called was on A.J.'s list of party helpers.

 

     After his fourth call, Rick slammed down the phone in disgust. "I can't believe this! Everyone's tied up tomorrow. Now what are the odds that all these guys would be busy on the same Saturday? You'd think there was something special like a wedding going on, or some kinda big shindig. Geez, I really wanted to go fishing, too. Sure you won't change your mind?"

 

     "Uh...no. No, I can't. Not this week. But we can go next Saturday if you want to."

 

     Rick had sounded like a little kid, then, as he said, "Next Saturday won't be my birthday."

     Rick had continued to grumble that morning until A.J. finally sent him out to get lunch. A.J. then took advantage of his time alone in the office to make a call to Town. In doing so, A.J. arranged for Rick to spend the better part of Saturday in one of San Diego's jail cells. Up until then, A.J. had been lucky and the impending party had been kept a secret. He was now afraid that Rick, in his quest to snare a fishing buddy, would find out about the party somehow. A.J. was determined that wasn't going to happen. He and his mother had worked too hard and for too long to have the surprise be found out only twenty-four hours before the big event.

 

     Therefore, at nine Saturday morning, Rick had two uniformed officers knocking on the door of his boat with a warrant for his arrest. An irate Rick didn't even hear all the charges as he was led away in handcuffs, loudly proclaiming his innocence to all the accusations.

 

     Mysteriously enough, Rick couldn't get a hold of his brother, his mother, Carlos, or anyone else who might be able to post bail for his release. Even Town, who was on duty that day, was "Much too busy to see you right now, Simon.  He'll try to get down here later," Rick was repeatedly told by a guard during the eight hours of his incarceration.

 

     Finally, Cecilia showed up shortly before five o'clock, explaining that Town had called her to come and get Rick because some terrible mistake had been made.

 

     "You bet there's been a terrible mistake made!" Rick roared as he claimed his wallet, belt, pocket change, and hat. "And I'm goin' up to see Town about all this right now!"

 

     Cecilia had told her raging oldest then that Town was already gone for the day, and that they might as well go, too.  Rick could talk to Town on Monday because they needed to get to A.J.'s since it was after five and the cookout was about to begin.

 

     As Cecilia drove her car through the streets of San Diego, Rick carried on about all he had endured that day. He was outraged that he had been thrown in a jail cell through no fault of his own, and evidently because of a screw-up made by some, "Damn paper pusher!"

 

     Rick was so engrossed in his tirade that he never noticed the route his mother was driving wasn't taking them to the Grand Canal neighborhood where A.J. lived. It wasn't until they had pulled into the park, that Rick first became aware that something wasn't quite right.

 

     "What are we doing here, Mom?"

 

"I have to pick something up at the pavilion and I need your help. It’s rather heavy. It'll only take a minute."

 

     As Cecilia walked toward the distant pavilion, she could hear Rick grumbling as he followed her.

 

"This is the rottenest birthday I've ever had. First there's nobody to go fishing with, then I get stuck spending the day in jail, now I gotta be an errand boy. I can't wait until this day ends."

 

     By the time mother and son reached the pavilion, Rick was in such a dark mood that he hadn’t taken notice of the bright streamers and helium balloons that adorned it.  It wasn't until he looked up and saw a large banner that read, Happy Birthday, Rick!, that the detective took notice of the people he had seen from a distance, and realized they were all people he knew.

 

     At that moment those people yelled as one, "Surprise!" and the party began.

 

     As the night progressed, A.J. had wondered if Rick knew the day he had spent in jail was the working of his younger brother, or if he really did think it was the work of some, "Damn paper pusher," as Cecilia had related to her youngest that Rick seemed to believe. A.J. hoped Rick thought it was the latter, but that hope was dashed at ten o'clock that evening.

 

     A.J. was on the dance floor with a lady friend of his, when Rick appeared with one of their female cousins as his own dance partner. As the older man passed by his younger brother, he stopped long enough to say, "You will pay for this, Andrew," and then danced away with a sly smile on his face.

 

     A.J. could still recall looking at his girlfriend and saying, "I've got a feeling I'm in big trouble. He's never, in his entire life, called me Andrew. I don't think that's a good sign."

 

     A.J. was reminded of that fact again at two-thirty in the morning. The last of the party guests had just departed, leaving only A.J. and his date, Town and Temple, Carlos and his wife, and Rick and Cecilia. A.J. was talking to Carlos and Town, when he noticed his mother saying good-bye to his older brother and wishing him one last, "Happy Birthday." A.J. moved away from the men, intent on seeing his mother to her car in the darkened parking lot, as well as driving his date home and calling it a night himself.

 

     As A.J. came to stand beside Rick, he was engulfed in a bear hug and told, "Thanks for a super party, little brother. I know you put a lot of work into all this. It was terrific. I had a great time. Thanks."

 

     A.J. had shrugged, still within the confines of his brother's arms. He started to break the hug, when the hold Rick had on him tightened. 

 

"I'll get you for this, A.J.,” Rick whispered into his brother’s right ear.  “I'll get you for this. You're gonna turn forty one of these days, too, ya’ know. And when you do, you'll pay. Believe me, you are going to pay."

 

     A.J. recalled that he bravely laughed at his older brother's threat that night while saying, "In five more years you'll be so old that you will have forgotten all about tonight."

 

     Rick had assured his brother then, that he'd never forget that night, not ever – and that’s what A.J. was afraid of.

 

     A.J. came back to the present, almost five and a half years later now, as he made his bed.

 

Fat chance of me having to pay now, Rick. My birthday's over. It's a shame we've been too busy lately to worry about birthdays, and parties, and paybacks.

 

     A.J. now suspected Rick's hints about a wild party and the foretelling of doom concerning the younger man's birthday, was all a put-on done purposely by his older brother in the hopes of driving him nuts. A.J. was well aware that Rick liked nothing better than to egg him on, and to get his temper riled. Rick had teased him that way ever since A.J. could remember.

 

     Both Cecilia and Rick knew A.J. didn’t enjoy parties per se. Certainly not in the way Rick did. The blond man garnered more enjoyment out of a small dinner with his family, or an evening out with a few close friends, or a favorite lady.

 

     And, even if there had been a party in the making, A.J. knew the plans would have gone by the wayside last week when Cecilia was unexpectedly called out of town for the funeral of a family member in Florida. Cecilia had flown from San Diego a week ago Tuesday, and hadn't returned until noon on Monday, A.J.'s birthday. Obviously, their mother couldn't get anything in the way of party preparations done while she was away, and A.J. knew  Rick had been too busy with their heavy case load to get anything done himself.

 

Therefore, A.J.'s birthday had simply turned out to be another hectic working day. Rick had spent the day at the factory, and had also volunteered to take Monday night’s stakeout in honor of A.J.'s special day. That was a nice gesture on the part of Rick, but it didn't make much difference one way or another to the blond man. A.J. had to be at the home of a client at seven-thirty that evening to discuss an upcoming case the brothers had been hired to do.

 

     A.J. felt like his whole day on Monday was spent in the car. First he was at the office, then at the courthouse, then at the police station, then sometime in between all that he remembered his mother's flight was due in at noon and he had to pick her up at the airport. As it was, A.J. arrived ten minutes late to find his mother waiting patiently for him, searching out her luggage.

 

    It was one o'clock when A.J. pulled into his mother's driveway. He carried her suitcases into the house for her. As he said a hasty good-bye she stopped him.

 

"I'll see you at six tonight for your birthday dinner like we planned, honey."

 

     "No, Mom, just forget it for tonight,” A.J. had protested. “You're tired. I don't want you to go to all that work. Besides, I've got to meet with a client at seven-thirty, and Rick will have to leave by eight or so. We're still staking-out that restaurant and he's taking tonight's shift.

 

The strong-willed Cecilia wouldn't hear of the birthday boy not having something in the way of a special day. "A.J., we had   this dinner set weeks ago and we're going to have it. I understand that you and Rick will have to eat and run. That's all right.  But I want us to be together on your birthday, even if only for a little while.  I bet no one's even told you 'Happy Birthday' yet, have they?"

     A.J. recalled the half smile that came to his face. "No, I guess not. I didn't see Rick yet today. He's at the factory. He probably forgot anyway."

 

     Cecilia smiled as she got up on her tiptoes to kiss her son's cheek. "Oh, I don't think he did. Happy Birthday, sweetheart."

 

     "Thanks, Mom, but I'm serious. We can forget dinner for tonight. It's been a busy couple of weeks for all of us. We can have dinner next week instead."

 

     "No, we aren’t going to forget it. I won't go to a lot of trouble. Maybe I'll just grill some hamburgers. But regardless, I do expect you here by six o'clock. All right?"

 

     Even at age forty, A.J. couldn't dispute a direct order from his mother. "All right, you win. I'll see you at six."

 

     With that, A.J. left his boyhood home only to return that same evening, a few minutes after six. His brother's truck was already in the driveway, and as A.J. walked to the side kitchen door, he could smell hamburgers cooking on the patio grill. He walked in the kitchen and was greeted by his mother who kissed him and told him once again, "Happy Birthday." A.J. could see Rick through the glass patio doors, flipping hamburgers and singing along to the radio he had out there.

 

     As Cecilia finished tossing a salad, A.J. commented in reference to the chocolate cake sitting on the countertop, "You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble. I don't need a cake."

 

     "Everybody needs a cake on their birthday. And besides, it wasn't that much trouble, so don't worry about it." Reluctantly, Cecilia admitted, "I didn't have time to make one from scratch. It's from a box.”

     “It doesn't matter if it's from scratch or from a box. If it was made by my mom, I know it'll be great."

 

     Cecilia's youngest helped her carry everything out to the round iron table on the patio, and was greeted with, "Oh, geez, do you look old now, A.J. Man, my baby brother's forty! Hard to believe, isn't it, Mom? I mean, that this well dressed business man was once the annoying little kid that used to take up all the room in my bed, sucking on his thumb while I read him the same stories over and over."

 

     A.J. just rolled his eyes while Rick laughed and told him, "Happy Birthday, little brother."

 

     From there, dinner was a hurried affair, followed by A.J. blowing out one candle with the number 40 on it contributed by Rick, and then the opening of gifts.

 

     Rick's present to his brother wasn't even wrapped. A.J. was handed an envelope across the table. Upon opening it, the younger man found four box seat tickets to a Padres game for a Sunday in late August. At that same time he was told, "You take whoever you want to the game, A.J." Smiling, Rick added, "As long as one of the people you take is me."

 

     A.J. just shook his head at his older brother while handing one of the tickets back to him. "You might as well hang on to this then. Nothing like giving me a present and telling me exactly how I'm supposed to use it, Rick. Thanks."

 

     "You're welcome," Rick told his sibling, who wasn't doing a very good job of pretending to be annoyed. The twinkle in A.J.'s eyes was giving him away.

 

     A.J. said one last round of thank yous to his mother and brother for the little party and gifts, then rose and kissed his mom good-bye. It was seven o'clock by then, and if he didn't leave he’d never make it to his client's home by seven-thirty.

 

     "Sorry I can't help you with the dishes, Mom. Can I at least carry some of this in the house for you before I head out?"

 

     "No, you go ahead. Rick and I will clean things up in a few minutes. And don't worry about the dishes. Your brother's going to help me tonight."

 

     A.J.'s eyes had grown wide with mock astonishment. "You mean Rick's actually going to do the dishes? He's not just going to stand in the kitchen and pretend to help like usual?"

 

     "That's right, little brother. It's another birthday present from me to you."

 

     A.J.'s last comment as he left to go to his car that night was a sarcastic, "Boy, it's too bad I had to have forty birthdays before I got to see this big event occur."

 

     A.J. could still remember laughing as Rick's shout reached his ears. "Any more smart remarks like that, A.J., and you won't live to see another birthday! I can guarantee that!"

 

     Finishing with the bed, A.J. went to the dresser and grabbed his work-out clothes, still smiling as he recalled Monday. All in all it hadn't been such a bad birthday. Too hectic maybe, and he didn't get to spend as much time with his family as he would have liked that evening, but at least none of Rick's dire predictions had come true. It had actually been a very quiet day. And now A.J. had the peace of mind knowing none of Rick's threats from the last month would come to pass. Their lives were just too busy right at the moment. Even last Saturday had been spent at the office, and both Saturday and Sunday night they had each taken a turn at the stakeout site. This weekend didn't look to be much better, as indications were that the case involving the stakeout wasn't going to come to an end anytime soon. He and Rick would have to discuss this weekend's schedule today.

 

     A.J. was immensely relieved to suddenly realize there was no way he was going to become the victim of one of his brother's wild schemes, or be the center of attention at some raucous party filled with nude women and other...interesting things only Rick Simon could think of.

 

     Looking at the clock, A.J. saw it was now six forty-five. He knew he'd better get moving if he was going to box for thirty minutes before showering, eating, and leaving for the office by eight-thirty. As he hurried down the stairs, all thoughts of his recent birthday left A.J. as he focused on the busy day ahead.

 

________________

 

 

     At two o'clock that same afternoon, the door to the Simon and Simon office opened. Cecilia peered around it, cautiously looking inside. When the only son she saw was Rick, she asked softly, "A.J.'s not back yet, is he?"

 

     Rick stood up from behind his desk and waved his mother in.

 

"No, Mom, come on in. He's down at the library going through microfiche of old newspaper articles for a case we're working on. He's not planning on being back here for a couple of hours yet."

 

     "Good," Cecilia replied as she sat down on the couch, motioning for Rick to sit next to her. "I was afraid he'd be back before I got here. I wanted to leave the house as soon as you called, but just as I was walking out the door the phone rang. It was your Aunt Marion wanting to know all about the funeral and my visit in Florida. I didn't think I'd ever get off the phone with her."

 

     “Don't worry about it. We've got plenty of time."

 

“Good,” Cecilia said. “I think everything's all set, honey. I talked to Betty today. The catering is taken care of, and she'll make the cake tomorrow morning, so in terms of food we’re ready. She said we could get into the banquet hall any time tomorrow afternoon to decorate. She's been so helpful. I'm glad you thought of going through her for all this."

 

"Yeah, she's a nice lady. She was happy with the work A.J. and I did for her last year, so I guess that helps. I think she feels like she kinda owes us one."

 

     "Yes, she has mentioned that several times. That, and the fact that she thinks A.J. is handsome. She's told me at least ten times in the last three weeks, 'Mrs. Simon, both your boys are very good-looking men. Your A.J. is especially handsome, and so sweet, too.' I think she has the hots for your brother, Rick."

 

     Rick laughed. "I told A.J. that last year. He sure denied it loudly enough."

 

     "I can understand why. Did you know Betty's older than I am? She told me she's seventy-three."

 

     "Yeah, I know. I kept tellin' A.J. she was on the prowl for a young guy who could offer her some adventure and excitement in her later years. He didn't find that too funny."

 

     "Well, regardless of what he thinks, this has worked out to our advantage. We rented the hall for one hundred dollars less than she normally charges, and she's giving us an excellent price on the food. I have a suspicion she's even making more than what we ordered. She keeps asking me what some of A.J.'s favorite dishes are."

 

     "A.J. has power over women of all ages, Mom, whether he’ll admit to it or not." Changing the subject, Rick said, "I called Al a little while ago. He’s set with the music. When I talked to him a few months ago I told him to bring the same kind of stuff he had at my party, then I remembered that he had played quite a bit of country. I told him today he could leave that at home. A.J.'ll have a fit if Hank Williams, Jr. starts blarin’ out of those speakers. I also asked Al to bring a little jazz and big band. He thought that request was kinda strange, but he said he'd bring some anyway."

 

     “Why did Al think that request was so strange?"

 

     "He said he only gets requests for that kind of music at seventieth birthday parties. I guess he thought that was a strange type music for a forty year old guy to like." Rick shrugged his shoulders. "I told him A.J. is a strange kind of person who has moronic tastes in music."

 

     "Rick, don't pick on your brother."

 

     Ignoring that little scolding, Rick said, "I'll drop the helium tank off at the hall in the morning. Betty's gonna meet me there before I come to work. I just have to pick it up from Carlos tonight on my way home. I gave you the balloons Monday night, didn't I?"

 

     "Yes, you did. I've got them in the trunk of my car along with the banners and other decorations. And speaking of balloons, Rick, all you gave me were black ones! Aren't we going to have any other color at this party but black? I thought it was bad enough when you told Betty you wanted black table cloths, and when you had me write on the invitations that everyone was to dress in black, but now black balloons, too?"

 

     "They're not all black, Mom. Some of them have white writing on them that say ‘Over the Hill.’ Besides, everything has to be in black since this is an official ‘Over the Hill’ party. Don't you go sneakin' off and buying other colors on me."

 

     "I won’t,” Cecilia promised, despite her longing for this to look more like a birthday celebration than a funeral.  “I have a feeling this party is going to be very interesting. Do you have everything ready for the roast you're doing of your brother?"

 

     "Yep. I heard from Town yesterday, He'll be able to make it down, so everyone's ready. Do you know what you're gonna say?"

     "Yes, I'm ready,” Cecilia assured. “Don't worry."

 

     Rick pointed a finger at his mother. "Whatever you say better be as embarrassing to A.J. as it was to me five years ago when you participated in ‘This Is Your Life.’"

 

     Cecilia laughed. "I wasn't trying to embarrass you. I just tell it like it is, dear."

 

     "Yeah, yeah. Well, you tell it like it is tomorrow night, too. Don't spare my brother just because he's your baby," Rick teased, before growing serious again. "I'm sorry I had to push so much of this off on you. I didn't mean for it to work out this way. If I can, I'll stop by and try to help with some of the decorating, but I can't promise that. A.J. and I have something to do for a client tomorrow afternoon that's going to take both of us. There's no way I can get out of it without making him suspicious."

 

     "That's all right. You boys have been so busy this month, too busy, as a matter of fact. I don't mind helping in any way I can. And don't worry about helping us decorate. I don't want A.J. figuring out what we have planned at this late date. I don't think he suspects a thing, do you?"

 

     "No, not at all. Especially since you laid it on so thick on Monday night about how you were sorry everything was so rushed, and then told him it wasn't fair that I had a party for my fortieth and he didn't get one."

 

     "Yes, that was pretty good acting on my part, wasn't it?" Cecilia smiled. "Anyway, Edie and your Aunt Pat are going to help me decorate tomorrow afternoon, and Pat said Kevin would stop by on his way home from work to see if we need him to do anything for us that requires heavy lifting or climbing. Overall, we’re as ready as we can be."

 

     "Sounds like it," Rick commented. "Oh, did you do something with pictures?"

 

     "Yes, I did. I didn't want copy what we did for your birthday, so I pulled out of the photo album several five-by-seven and eight-by-ten photos I had and put them in frames. All I have to do is hang them up when we decorate tomorrow."

 

     "I hope you picked out one that will embarrass A.J., just like that one you used five years ago embarrassed me. You know, the one where I’m layin’ on that bearskin rug naked as a jaybird. I happen to know my little brother personally chose that one and told you to use it."

 

     Cecilia laughed at her oldest. "Well, I don't have any like that of A.J. Come to think of it, I don't know why we never had one like that taken of him, but we didn't. I guess we just never got around to it. But, I am using his high school graduation picture. I think that about evens the score, don't you?"

 

     "Oh, yeah," Rick said with glee. "A.J. really hates that picture. Remember how Janet always told A.J. he looked just like a Ken doll in that picture 'cause of the way his hair was combed, and that big cheesy smile he has on his face?"

     Cecilia nodded. "Yes, I do remember that. She used to tease A.J. unmercifully about that picture.” Changing the subject, Cecilia asked, "What about the stakeout tomorrow night, Rick? I know A.J.'s planning on working it."

 

     "Yeah, he is, but I've got it all taken care of. One of the guys who works for Abby sometimes moonlights for A.J. and me when we're in a bind. I've got Mike hired to do the stakeout. Everything's all set, which is good, considering A.J. would kill me if I didn't have somebody workin' this job while the party's goin' on. Now all I have to do is figure out how to keep A.J. from going to the stakeout, and how to get him to the party. I haven't quite come up with how I'm going to accomplish that yet."

 

     "I'm sure you'll think of something," Cecilia said as she rose from the couch. It was time for her to head home. She didn't want her youngest son to catch her here this afternoon. "If you can't come up with any ideas, call me. Maybe I can think of something."

 

     Rick stood and walked his mother to the door. "Oh, I'll come up with something. I'm sure of that, Mom. I don't know what it's gonna be yet, but I do know I owe my little brother a payback in a big way for that jail stunt he pulled on me.”

 

     Cecilia just shook her head. "I don't think I want to hear anymore about this, but I am going to tell you the same thing I told A.J. five years ago, Rick."

 

     "And what was that?"

 

     “Go ahead and have your fun, but remember, this is your brother's birthday party and I want him to have a good time. Don't do anything that will spoil the night for him."

 

     "You told A.J. that five years ago, huh?"

 

     "Yes, I did."

 

     "He didn't listen very well then, did he?" Rick teased with a grin.

 

     Cecilia knew her oldest son too well to be fooled. "Rick, you had a wonderful time at your birthday party, and don't try to tell me any differently. I know better."

 

     Rick chuckled and kissed his mother's cheek. "Yeah, I sure did. It was a great party. A.J.'s is gonna be great, too. Don't worry, Mom. I won't torture him too much. He'll have a good time."

 

     "Good," Cecilia replied as she headed out the door. Over her shoulder she called, "I'll tell you the other thing I told A.J. five years ago. If he asks me, I know absolutely nothing about your schemes. As his mother, I get to deny all knowledge of any pranks pulled on him."

 

     Rick laughed and agreed as he watched his mother enter the elevator. "Okay, Mom, you're got yourself a deal."

 

________________

 

 

     Friday morning A.J. was alone in the Simon and Simon office doing backlogged paperwork. He glanced at his watch to see it was ten thirty-five.

 

     Rick’ll be here soon.  With his help, I should be able to make a dent in these reports.

 

     Rick had been on the previous night's stakeout duty. Since the brothers had no clients to meet with, or other obligations that required the two of them to be present this morning, Rick had made arrangements to come in late. 

 

     Hey, A.J., I probably won’t be in until around ten-thirty or so tomorrow morning,” Rick had said as the brothers left the office shortly after five on Thursday evening.  I’ve got a few errands to run.

 

     A.J. hadn’t questioned Rick as to what those errands might be. The hours the men had been working the past few weeks had barely allowed for the chance to get to a grocery store, or bank, or any number of other places that were necessary on a frequent basis. 

 

     A.J. pushed his chair away from his desk, stretching his legs for a moment and enjoying the comfort of blue jeans and tennis shoes. He would never admit it to Rick, but A.J. looked forward to the days he allowed himself to come to the office informally dressed. A suit and tie was the type of attire A.J. required of himself when meeting with a client, especially for the first time. But on days like today when no appointments were scheduled, A.J. enjoyed his casual dress of jeans and a short sleeve shirt.

 

     Aside from the fact that the blond man wasn't expecting any clients, he and his brother also had to leave the office shortly after noon for a little ‘bug’ planting operation that would require crawling through a large ventilation system in a downtown office building. A.J. had ruined more than one pair of expensive dress slacks over the years on such a job. Therefore, he had finally learned to listen when Rick told him, "A.J., you don't have to dress like you're goin' to a wedding all the time. Nobody cares what you look like. Especially me when I'm stuck sittin' in a swamp with you all night."

 

     The job the brothers had today was the reason, not just for A.J.'s attire, but also for the pair of denim coveralls thrown over the arm of the couch that bore the logo on the back, Will Kill Pest Control. The 'Will Kill' exterminators would be planting the bugs this afternoon, a fact which Rick had found hilarious the previous day when he and A.J. had mapped out today's strategy.

 

     A.J. had just returned to his paperwork when the door opened and Rick walked in carrying a bag in his hand. He headed to the small refrigerator that the coffee maker sat on and put the bag in it.

 

"I stopped by the deli and got us a couple of sub sandwiches and some chips for lunch. I figured we wouldn't have time to get anything before we had to leave."

 

     A.J. eyed his brother.  "Thanks...I...uh...want to get through as much of this paperwork as I can before we have to leave. Eating here will help." A.J. couldn't hold back any longer as he asked Rick what was really on his mind. "What's this?  Your Johnny Cash imitation?"

 

     That question was prompted by Rick's outfit of black jeans, black shirt, and a black cowboy hat that A.J. had never seen before. As a matter of fact, A.J. wasn't aware that his brother even owned such a hat.

 

     Rick shrugged his shoulders as he walked over to his desk. "Just felt like a different look today, that's all."

 

     "You look different, all right," came the smart remark Rick chose to ignore.  A.J. looked his brother over one more time, then asked, "Isn't that my shirt?"

 

     "No, it's not your shirt. I think you've got one like it, but this one's mine."

 

     "Oh, okay," A.J. said as he turned his attention back to the work on his desk.

 

     Rick had to hide his smile as began leafing through his own pile of paperwork.

 

Boy, A.J., after forty years of being my brother, I'd think you would have learned a thing or two by now.

 

     For indeed, the shirt Rick was wearing did belong to his younger brother. Upon discovering he didn't own a black shirt to wear to A.J.'s party tonight, Rick had taken advantage of his brother's empty house on Tuesday evening and had raided A.J.'s closet, ‘borrowing’ the black shirt he knew he would find hanging there.

 

What the heck, Rick had thought to himself then. It's not like A.J.'s gonna need this Friday night. He's going to be the only one at his party not dressed in black, since he's the only one who doesn't know about his party and my required dress code.

 

     At fifteen minutes after twelve, two empty soda cans, two empty potato chip bags, and two empty sandwich wrappers were deposited in the garbage can as the detectives finished their lunch. A.J. walked to the couch and picked up his coveralls, slipping them on over his jeans. He stopped there and took off the shirt he was wearing. He knew from experience he'd get too hot with it on, especially since today's job required crawling around in a small, confined space.

 

     A.J. finished zipping the one-piece suit, picked up his shirt, and headed for the door with his brother following. As the two men walked down the hallway A.J. asked, "Where are your coveralls?"

     "I left 'em in the truck. I figured we'd be taking it to the job. I doubt if anybody's gonna believe we're from a pest control company if we pull up in your Camaro."

 

     "Good point," A.J. conceded as the men entered the elevator.

 

     The detectives trekked through the small parking lot outside the office building heading to Rick's truck, which was parked against the curb. Having arrived so late this morning, Rick had no choice but to park on the street since the lot was already full.

 

     The brothers were discussing details involving the afternoon's case when A.J. stopped in his tracks. Rick had continued walking and talking, not noticing he no longer had a companion until he didn't get an answer to a question. He turned around to see what had become of his younger brother, only to observe A.J. standing in an empty parking space, arms akimbo.

 

     "A.J., come on! We gotta get movin' here, we're gonna be late."

 

     "Rick! My car's gone!"

 

     "A.J., your car isn't gone. It can't be."

 

     "What do you mean it isn't gone? Of course it's gone! Do you see a car here, or didn’t you notice I'm standing in an empty spot?"

 

Rick walked toward his sibling. "What I mean is, are you sure you parked it there?"

 

     A.J.'s blood pressure was rising with each passing moment. "Of course I parked it here! I've parked it here every day for the last five years! Where else could it be?"

 

     "Maybe Mom borrowed it and forgot to tell you."

 

     The look on the blond man's face told his older brother how much value A.J. put on that idea.

 

"Rick, Mom doesn't even have a set of keys to my car. She couldn't have taken it without my knowing it unless she's suddenly started hot-wiring automobiles in her spare time. Besides, when have you ever known Mom to drive around San Diego in my Camaro? And besides, Mom's not even home today. She was going to L.A. today with Edie and some other friends. Somehow I can't picture seven women over the age of sixty crammed into my Camaro while cruising the freeway."

 

     "You never know with Mom, A.J."

 

     A.J. decided that last comment wasn't even worth replying to, therefore, he didn't.

 

     "Where are you goin'?" Rick asked as A.J. stomped toward the building.

 

     “To call Abby!"

 

     Rick ran to catch up with his brother.  "What are you calling her for?"

 

     “Rick, my car has been stolen,” A.J. explained through clenched teeth. “Abby is a police officer. I believe the two kind of go together, don't you?"

     "Yeah, yeah, I suppose. But I still think you're jumping to conclusions."

 

     "Jumping to conclusions! Oh sure, Rick, I'm jumping to conclusions! Gee, maybe my car decided it needed some exercise and took itself for a little drive. Or, maybe the Car Fairy came and is changing it into a Porsche for me."

 

     A.J. went ranted on as Rick trailed behind him quietly, barely able to keep the smile from his face that was trying so hard to appear.

 

     Twenty minutes later A.J. was still on the phone with Abby. Actually, he was on hold with Abby, waiting for her to get back to him regarding his stolen vehicle. The only good thing so far was that Abby was being cooperative.  She had agreed to take all the necessary information over the phone and pass it on to the right department, in light of the fact that the Simon brothers had a job to get to.

 

     A.J. paced back and forth while he waited for Abby to come back on the line. He walked as far as the telephone cord would allow, then was forced to untangle himself before starting the whole routine over again. 

    

     “I’ll tell you, Rick, when I get a hold of the guy who stole my car he’ll wish he could spend a few nights behind bars.  When I’m through with him he’ll be lucky if he can still walk, let alone drive a car. I’ll--

 

     Rick ducked his head in order to hide his smile.